Would this be out of line?

[lovemy6monkeys]

I'm starting to put together my "arguments" that I will use when I see my neuro on 8/4. I want him to tell me why he is delaying diagnosis and treatment even though he has said he is 70% sure I have MS.

I know that my neuro's wife has MS. I have a feeling that is why he went to medical school (he was an engineer).

I would like to ask the question: "If I were your family member, would you still delay treatment or would you be approving the use of DMD?"

Is that completely out of line? I've never had to be aggressive before :-)

Thanks for your thoughts!
~Jess

[tonyad]

   As Erin said, everyone gave you good advice,
Just letting you know you are in my thoughts :)

~Tonya

[Erin0313]

Jess,

   Everyone already gave you great advice! I just wanted to wish you luck at your appointment and say good job for talking it through before going so that you don't say anything that would "hurt you" later.

  I am very lucky that my sister goes with me to most appts because my frontal lobe brain damage kind of causes me to speak before I think especially when emotional or tired, so she is a good buffer. She has actually asked the doctor, if she were your sister what would you do? But coming from her and being my sister it sounds sincere and the doctor has just responded and the 2 of them have a conversation like I'm not there , lol I don't mind - I wish I wasn't!

Good luck
Erin :)

[addicted2harleys]

Seems as though everyone here gave you great advise, Jess.  I just wanted to send a bit more confidence your way for your upcoming appointment.  I am rooting for ya!

Addi

[lovemy6monkeys]

Thank you all!

I will add, which I should have in my original post, that my neuro is the one who told me about his wife. But, I do agree with you guys, it is not really my place to bring it up again.

I'm going to try to be logical with my arguments...I'm sure his engineers mind would appreciate that LOL I'm not going to fight to get my way, but I will insist on an explanation.

*Why did he tell me to come back with my husband to discuss treatment options, than decide he was not going to do treatment and send me for the LP?
*If he is 70% sure I have MS, what is causing the 30% uncertainty?
* If it is not MS what does he think it can be? I'm honestly open to any ideas and willing to go through tests.

I do like and trust my neuro very much. He does not dismiss my symptoms and does not rush me out of the room. I am just frustrated by the whole process. So, no direct confrontation... but I will acknowledge my frustration and ask him to help me understand better.

Ok. I can do that. (I'll just keep repeating that to myself  for the next 12 days LOL)
~Jess

[HVAC]

Neurologists do not like to get emotionally involved generally. I had one fire me for questioning her. It turned out to be the best thing that happened in the long run since she was never going to take my MS seriously. Just try to leave your emotions at home.

Alex

[Quixotic1]

I agree also that it is always a good thing to allow the doctor an out.  None of us like to be pinned down and the bigger the ego, the greater the reaction to direct confrontation.

Quix

[Inny2009]

I agree with sara on being alittle less direct than that. But perhaps you could mention something like this...

" I am wondering if you could explain your reasons for delaying treatment and an offical diagnosis. I am frusterated and anxious as is my husband. It is becoming very hard for the both of us and It would really help our anxiety level if we knew 100% what we were dealing with and deal with it. It would also help me understand why there is a need to wait, if you could outline your reasons."

I think if you mention how hard it is for your husband and yourself, it doesnt pin point him and his wife but it will bring up memories of how he and his wife struggled with her diagnosis. It would be completely normal and ordinary if you explain that this is taking a toll on yourself and your husband and would appreciate a ...speed up process...and it in no way shape or form orders him to go faster or try to guilt trip him into doing anything either.

Jess if you dont have a husband or a Significant other than....use a different family member like "My mom is really worried and id like to give her some answers." Or your dad...something to that extent.

I do commend you for being assertive though. I am not like that..so I am bringing someone assertive who speaks her mind and has known me before and after I got sick and who knows whats going on who will defend me since I cant seem to open my mouth. lol

Inny

[Sparkysarah]

Be assertive...I think we have discussed this before!!!

I think that you may get his back up by saying this...particularly if he finds out you know his wife has MS.  I would suggest a less direct approach;

"I am wondering if you could explain your reasons for delaying treatment as I am feeling very frustrated and anxious waiting and hoping for a DMD.  It would help me understand why there is a need to wait, if you could outline your reasons"

I am a strong believer in fighting for what we all deserve...but generally have found that the assertive less aggressive approach is more successful. I have fought for education provision and services for my son with Asperger Syndrome, and care and treatment for my mother-in-law who had MND. I do not regret sticking my neck out....but I think that Consultants do not like being told what they should do....

Love Sarah