hello im new to the forum

[weeko]

Hello, i've been watching this site since 2008. It's taken me so long to become a member! I just wanted to say what lovely people you are and just by reading all your posts, has made things so much easier for me to try to come to terms with this illness.  I was diagnosed in 2008 after having Internuclear Opthalmoplegia & double vision etc. I have problems with lighting and have tried sunglasses but no help.  I'm also in the middle of taking my employer to court for discrimination which i'm so stressed about and also trying to come to terms with losing my lovely and dear dad.  I'm on meds rebif and lyrica but still have so much pain.  I'm feeling so low at the moment and just wanted to tell you so that i can become friends with you all.  I'm so very unhappy with my life its so hard. Again you all sound so lovely. Big hug to you xx

[Lulu54]

I'm not totally familiar with how your system in the UK is going to work for the counseling - we haven't talked about that much, here.  But sparkysarah might be able to give you some assistance since that is her area of specialty and her profession.

Be sure to come through and spend some time - there are lots of great people who can share their coping tips.

best, Lulu

[sllowe]

Weeko!

Welcome! I'm sorry you are down :( Wish you hadn't waited to say so, but glad you finally joined us!

I'm sure the employer case is all consuming. I hope your lawyers are good so you don't have to carry that burden too.

Have you told the doc the lyrica is not working? And, about being down? It's ok to tell them about being down too ya know. Maybe you can get on something to help take that edge off.

I'm on Rebif too. Are you managing with it well?
Happy to be here for you :)
Thanks for joining us!
-Shell

[Sparkysarah]

Hello and I just wanted to offer you a big warm welcome and send you a comforting hug across the ocean from England. I have not been aroudn wiht my usual enthusiasm on the forum partly becasue I had a wonderful holiday in Australia, but mainly because since my return I have not been well and have hit a relapse which has been a bit of a wake up call as fatigue has taken over.

However I read your post and always feel that I was given such a great welcome when I joined a year ago, and that I found it really h elped me and made a difference when everything felt strange and that I was inhabiting a body which I did not belong to, a bit like a fish out off water or a tourist in a foreign country who does not know the language.
So first of all well done for taking the courage to say hello to us after all the time you have spent  lurking. Sometimes it takes this long to come to terms with the diagnosis and I think it is only just beginning to sink in for me now.

Secondly I am so sorry to hear about your lawsuit but well done to you for standing up for yourself, and not being walked over..it is so important to find your voice and this takes enormous courage..so you are one brave lady.

Thirdly and almost most importantly, I am so very sorry to hear about the los of your dear Dad. Losing a parent has to be one of the hardest bereavements to deal with, although I would not like to really generalise as all bereavements can be devastating for the loved ones left behind. I see many clients as a bereavement counsellor and I just want to encourage you to be patient and wait for your counsellor. You have taken the first step acknowledging you need some helpand giong on anti depressants may help you just get through the difficult times. (Incidentally amitriptyline anti depressant really helps with nerve pain so not sure what you have been prescirbed but many people with MS are put on this to help with sensory symptoms).

The best advice I can give you is to just take each day as it comes, grief comes in waves and will hit you often whenyou least expect it and the tears just fall. Crying is helpful and it is just the body's way of expressing itself and shifting the energy..it physically can make you feel a little better when this sadness is released so do not let anyone tell you not to cry or you should be getting over it after 6 months. The other thing is that rather than saying time heals, it is easier to think of your loss in terms of learning to live with the sadness and accepting that it may never actually go away as nothing can replace your Dad but that you will learn to live with it as each day passes.

Lulu has given you some lovely practical advice and I endorse and agree with all her suggestions. Be kind to yourself and listen to your body and rest when you are tired.

Welcome once again, with love and hugs

Sarah x :)

[Karen99]

Hello.  I would like to add my welcome too.  

Everyone has given good advice.  The only thing I could add is to accept help and support.  Being entrenched in a lawsuit is extraordinarily stressful.  Let your attorney bear the brunt of that - as much as possible.  There are so many emotions involved with this type of suit.  Do what you can so it does not engulf you.  

Maybe view the suit as being a business matter and not one of a personal nature.  Hard to do, but you've probably been riding this emotional roller coaster for a long time.  Give it up to your attorney to stand strong for you.  :-)

I am very sorry about the loss of your dear father.  My heart aches for you.  Allow others to reach out to you and reach out to others.  

Get lot's of rest and take good care of yourself.  

[Sumanadevii]

I don't know what area you live in but many hospitals and funeral homes offer support groupings for those grieving...The service is free and you may find it helpful.

I love all the advice given but as usual...I had something to add.  Pain?  I believe your doctor should be aware on helping you get it under control.  It is not okay to be in pain.  If it is enough that it is interfering with your life, demand help.  No chronic pain doesn't go away but should be manageable.

I, too, am sorry for the loss of your father.

[shermay]

Hello and Welcome,

I'm so pleased you chose to join our little corner of cyberspace - you'll meet great friends, and the support here is fantastic.

We talk about all sorts of things, nothing is off limits.

Again welcome,

Debs

[cheesymum]

Hey and welcome!  I'm brand new here myself but I wanted to say "hello".  This is a great group and has certainly welcomed me with open arms.  I'm certain you will find the same warmth.  :)

[drsdonthelp]

Hi, I just wanted to welcome you as well!!
This forum is my favorite place to be!! Very smart, and caring people here. I feel loved and cared for just like family!

Hugs,
Pam

[weeko]

Thank you! and i'll talk to my GP about medication. I'm feeling good already at finally becoming a member. I'll keep in touch and thank you again!! lots of love

[weeko]

Thank you so much for your lovely words, it means so much to me!  i've spoken to my doctor today who wants to put me on anti depressants which i hope will help me cope and also some councelling but not sure when that'll happen as there is a waiting list. I love to listen to music and to walk with my dog which i enjoy greatly.   I think this stress is not helping with my ms at the moment as its starting to flair up i think.   I most definately will keep in touch and thank you again so very much and lots of hugs to you xx

[madmelissa]

Weeko,

I can't add anything to the wonderful advice Lulu has given you, but I just wanted  offer you a warm welcome out of the shadows and into the great circle of people here. I too lurked for quite some time, but I was so thankful when I finally spoke up and introduced myself. Everyone here is so caring and supportive.

Hugs,
Melissa

[figuerpa]

Hi weeko and welcome to the forum,

If you are still having a lot of pain why not call your neuro and explain that you need something for the pain, maybe he/she can give you something different than the lyrica or add something to go with the lyrica to see if it will help.

I am sorry you are going through this and I agree with Lulu maybe talking to someone about the issues will help. Depression is a big part of MS and can make things worse if not addressed.

I hope you do find some relief, either by asking for more pain meds or talking with someone who can make you feel better.

Keep us informed and once again welcome,

Big hugs,
Paula

[Lulu54]

hello weeko and welcome out of the shadows.  You already know this is a very smart group of people who will go out of their way to help everyone - I hope you will take advantage of this generosity.  We have lots to share.

Living with this MiSerable disease is enough to drag us down and you have that added burden  of the struggle with your former employer. Losing a parent, no matter what the circumstances, is hard.   It is no wonder that you  feel low.  You would have to turn off all the emotions if you weren't feeling this stress.

I am so sorry you are dealing with all these issues.  Our usual advice to deal with one problem at a time doesn't apply for you, unfortunately.   Is there someone who you can see for counseling?  Perhaps a therapist, a minister or a trusted confidant?  It sounds like you would benefit from some talk therapy.

You can always talk to your doctors about this, too, and get a referral from them to see someone.  

In the meantime, I hope you will find something that gives you pleasure - music, a good book, a walk in the park - and pamper yourself.  I know it's hard to do when everything feels so wrong, but if we're not good to ourselves we can't expect others to do it for us.

stay in touch, ok?  Welcome again to the group.
lots of hugs,
Lulu