It's me again, - more to add...

[goodnesscyn]

Thank you all for responding.  I really appreciate the response.  In my response and to add a little more... I turn to God for my counseling.  I have the best attitude I know, positive, positive, positive.  It is mind over matter and a quality of life vs. quantity of life.
I don't have a mate.  I have 2 boys 26 and 18 who act and are spitting images of there father (Some good, some bad) - (no respect for women or very little) (child of an alcohlic, also an alcoholic) (children of an alcoholic, on their way to being alcololics) ALOT of anger in the boys, they never had their father growing up, and witnessed verbal, physical abuse to my self and later girlfriends of their father.  My sadness comes from wanting my boys to be more kind and gentle, think of others, especially me, their mom who lives alone, right side not functioning well.  Is this selfish of me for thinking this way?  
I refered earler to my children and what few friends I have that becauseof things I say or how I act is causing me to lose the few friends I have.  I can't and won't hang out with people that drink.  I don't know how to not say the things that are on mt mind from not coming out of my mouth - Loose lips sinks ships... I'm sinking ships fast.
To finally end this, I don't vent here for woe is me, because I don't dwell on that.   God never lets me siuffer to long.  I am one of the top[ 5 riches ladies in the world - alone and all and it has nothing to do with finances!!!!!

[HVAC]

I hope you are well today. I am glad you have your faith. I did not understand what you were getting at with your first question but the internet is like that. Since you are not talking to a person it hard to understand sometimes. I think what you are saying is you are happy with yourself, you have a good outlook on life? You are sad others such as your sons are not more sensitive to your situation? That is very lonely.

Then you reached out to strangers and may have taken offense. There was none meant. We are people with all kinds of life experiences trying to help each other.

You hang in there.

Alex

[Sumanadevii]

Your sons at ages 18 and 26 are very young to understand your sufferings and needs.  The youngest is just out of high school and probably very self involved trying to decide on his future....college, job, partners, etc.  The 26 year old is most likely involved in a young relationship and if not, seeking one.  He probably is just settling into a career not to mention the distraction of his party years.  Please do not think these are ungrateful blobs.  As they get into their 30's and mature a bit more they will become aware that they have responsibilities outside of themselves.  These young men still need their mom.  They are not ready to switch roles.

I would suggest leaning on family, friends, church members, neighbors at this time of your life.  I also think you may be surprised that if you have a need and ask them to do a specific task they will respond.  Just don't ask too often because their time is limited.

And please do not be disappointed in them or in your mothering style...Eventually you will see their caring....I promise .......:)

[supermum_ms]

I'm not sure how to respond to your post but felt a response was needed because it sounds imho like you could be very lonely and feeling abandond by your family and friends. (appologies if i'm reading you wrong!)

The last thing you mentioned (5 riches ladies etc) i dont understand the point of it, that old saying is absolutely true 'money can't buy you happiness' but i'm left wondering if you understand what that truely means. Your status and bank balance is obviously important to you (based on the fact you mentioned it and highlight with 6 !) and possibly its something you have began to associate with your self worth as a person. The truth,  it holds no relevance in the grand scheme of life, what you have doesn't make you a better person than the you that you would of been if you had nothing.

I believe we are all the product of our history but being history it is our past, its done, dusted and time to let it go! We can use our history as an excuse for all that we do but funny people tend to only blame their past on the bad things that happen, never the good things. In truth we make both good and bad choices because of our history, our current situation and the future we are striving for, it really does depend on what you focus on.

Your boys are grown so its too late to change a lot of things but its not too late to lead by example and parent them on how to treat you and the other women in their lives. If you know how you behave and act is causing you to loose friends, then why are you still behaving that way, seriously are you not reaping what you sew? You can not demand people think your way, you can not expect people to suck it up and take it because you've decided to speak your mind even when its not your place to do so, that will only push people away and alienate your self.


I applaud your choice of faith but seriously think you made an error in judgement when you opted not to get professional counseling because imho I think you would really benefit from it. You can choose to be loving and supportive, and still be equally open and honest with your opinion but i suspect your delivery or expectations may need some help, so please consider being proactive and protective of your self and seek a counselor.

Is it selfish, NO but it maybe unrealistic if thats not how your boys are naturally hard wired, though they are both still young and living in the ME ME time of their lives, maybe one day down the track. Try not to push, lead by example! :-)

Cheers...........JJ

PS sorry if i've not said anything you wanted or expected, i try and keep things real!