Okay this is my whole story i am not hiding anything. I am a 17 year old male. Ever since i was a little kid i always looked at and noticed girls whether it was in the classroom, my teachers, or models. I discovered porn in like 5/6 grade and loved it. All straight and lesbian stuff. Gay stuff would always gross me out. I never even thought it was possible that a guy could be good looking. I always used to say wow if i was a girl id be lesbian because guys are gross. In MS i dated two girls one i dated for a year and a half and loved her so much. It was ready for that to end and when i was around 16 i was with another girl. This is when it all started. She talked about a guy being attractive and I said how can a guy be attractive i dont know what you mean. Then all of the sudden I saw a guy and said yeah i guess hes a good lookiing dude and this is when it all began. i would constantly go on websites and look at guys and see if i was attracted to them. Then i would walk around school (all boys school) and get high anxiety whenever i saw a decent looking guy. This happened for 3 motnhs and then went away when I thought i almsot got my gf pregnant and that scared me so much that i guess i frogot about the gay thing. So after a while i was back to my old self and realized ok some guys r good looking guys does not make me gay. So around 6 months from that which is mid july of this year I saw a guy and i noticed that he was a handsome dude. That scared the **** out of me and i could not stop looking at him to see if i was attracted. Then i went on vacation for a month at the beach and the shirtless guys on the beach i would keep checking to see if i was attracted to and i would get high levels of anxiety and stress. The weird thing is whenever i would have dreams they would always be girls. This high level of stress would cause me to check by using porn (bad idea). Because of the high anxiety and stress it causaed me to get an erection and finish. This caused me even more stress. once i settled down and looked at it again tho after having an erection the erection went down once i started looking at it again. i realize porn is not a good source however because it is erotic and its job is to make u have an erection. That still brings me stress tho. I go through countless hours a day thinking of scenarios and stressing myself out to see if i would like the scenarios when i know i dont. i have alwways been straight and it is my intention to stay that way. there is nothing wrong with gay people i used to be homophobic but now i realize it is not there choice and i dont have a problem with them its just not me. I have another gf rn who i think i am in love with and she is very supportive of me as i have told her the situation. i also get some kind of ocd with her where i over think to the point where she might not like me or if i am really attracted to her when i know for a fact she loves me and i am very attracted to her. These thoughts are toruting me and ruining my life and I just wnat to know what you guys all think. What do you thikn this is. i would really really appreciate an answer. Thanks so much guys.