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Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Community
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Avatar universal

Hocd!

Ever since about 2 months ago, i have been having weird hocd thoughts. It all began when i was out drinking and my friends kept telling my girlfriend i was gay. Later when me and my girlfriend were going to bed she asked me if i was and she genuinley believed them.. I kept telling her no and for some reason she didnt believe me.
     Then about a week later i took lsd (bad idea i know). When i took it everything was fine until about 7 hours in. All of the sudden my mind was plagued by thoughts of "your gay", "youve been gay your whole life" etc.. And now lately i have been reevaluating my life and thinking that i have been acting gay my whole life which is really freaking me out. I have constant, unwanted sexual gay thoughts which keep popping in my head for no reason. I have been comparing sex with women and how sex with a guy would be like. Im never turned on by these thoughts either. Never been turned on by gay porn. I have had bad porn habits in the past also which might have an effect on this. But the rush of these bad thoughts at 19 just doesnt make sense if i was actually gay. If i was actually gay, wouldnt i have known it for awhile now?
2 Responses
Avatar universal
Also, never had any past anxiety/ocd problems... Maybe social anxiety because i can be socially awkward
Avatar universal
i think it's HOCD ******* with you &&' yes! If you were gay you would don't just knew it very early but never have attraction towards woman! I myself am suffering with HOCD for the past 4 months and it's been hell. Deep down ask yourself this- "Are you really gay?" Your mind might say something out of the blue but when I tell myself this the answer is always "NO" I believe gay people know they're gay at heart. You should search up "I'm Gay but You're Not" it's written by a guy name Mark with OCD and talks about actually being gay and HOCD. I ALSO know this other guy that is gay and had pedophile OCD and stated that HOCD comes much after being Heterosexual. Go seek treatment for these thoughts and the mental problem. Do what I can't do! Good luck! --Captn
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