Aa
Compulsive with catching STD's
Hello to all.
I am a 26 years old guy that just graduate. I have a good job and good contacts. I live in Brazil and I'm married. I love and trust my wife for everything.
Wasn't everything suppose to be very good in my life? Well it is not. Actually, I'm very, very depressed and feeling really bad. I can't work well. Actually, I'm at work right now, but I'm feeling so bad that I just can't do the things I have to.
I don't know well why that started, but has been two years that I think everything is going to infect me. I've done some posts (with another account which I've lost acces) in the STD's forums, but I know "logically" that I'm not suppose to worry about catching STD's.
My last problems have been about dentists. I've started using braces, because I really need to correct some problems with my teeth and jaw. I started my treatment with a dentist that sometimes didn't wear glooves. That made me crazy and then I could not trust him anymore. Since I could not trust him anymore, I wouldn't go to his office again, so I took the braces out myself with pliers, payed him to get all my exams back, and restarted my treatment with another dentist.
Everything seems to be well until two events. At one time he wasn't wearing a mask and then, later, he opened the door of his office with the glooves that he was using to work on me and, when he returned (with some kind of stuff he couldn't find inside the office), he didn't switch the gloves. So, again, I was not beeing able to trust him. That time, however, I took a different approach. I've decided to talk to him and explain my problem and ask him to be very, very cautious with me, because I have OCD. He said he undestands, and that he had never done anything wrong but, if I feel something is wrong, he asked me to tell him at the time the incident happens.
Now I'm feeling that he is going to do something wrong exactly because I've asked him not to do so. Like not sterelizing some of his stuff or doing something when I can't see him. I've also did some posts on dentists forums/blogs here in Brazil, saying that I was worried about he not switching his glooves (as anonymous, without saying his name, but with a very small chance that he could read and then connect that post to me, because I told my city, e-mail, and the history about the other dentist, which I told him explaining why I've switched). Now I'm now afraid that he could punish me because of my posts (not this one, because I'm writing in english and doing questions on ODC forums), or my behavior of saying he is not doing his job well.
I don't know exactly what to do, I've done therapy for three years, but I'm not doing right now. Should I just trust him, because he said he understands? Should I seek another dentist because of his flaws?
Thank you very much.
I am a 26 years old guy that just graduate. I have a good job and good contacts. I live in Brazil and I'm married. I love and trust my wife for everything.
Wasn't everything suppose to be very good in my life? Well it is not. Actually, I'm very, very depressed and feeling really bad. I can't work well. Actually, I'm at work right now, but I'm feeling so bad that I just can't do the things I have to.
I don't know well why that started, but has been two years that I think everything is going to infect me. I've done some posts (with another account which I've lost acces) in the STD's forums, but I know "logically" that I'm not suppose to worry about catching STD's.
My last problems have been about dentists. I've started using braces, because I really need to correct some problems with my teeth and jaw. I started my treatment with a dentist that sometimes didn't wear glooves. That made me crazy and then I could not trust him anymore. Since I could not trust him anymore, I wouldn't go to his office again, so I took the braces out myself with pliers, payed him to get all my exams back, and restarted my treatment with another dentist.
Everything seems to be well until two events. At one time he wasn't wearing a mask and then, later, he opened the door of his office with the glooves that he was using to work on me and, when he returned (with some kind of stuff he couldn't find inside the office), he didn't switch the gloves. So, again, I was not beeing able to trust him. That time, however, I took a different approach. I've decided to talk to him and explain my problem and ask him to be very, very cautious with me, because I have OCD. He said he undestands, and that he had never done anything wrong but, if I feel something is wrong, he asked me to tell him at the time the incident happens.
Now I'm feeling that he is going to do something wrong exactly because I've asked him not to do so. Like not sterelizing some of his stuff or doing something when I can't see him. I've also did some posts on dentists forums/blogs here in Brazil, saying that I was worried about he not switching his glooves (as anonymous, without saying his name, but with a very small chance that he could read and then connect that post to me, because I told my city, e-mail, and the history about the other dentist, which I told him explaining why I've switched). Now I'm now afraid that he could punish me because of my posts (not this one, because I'm writing in english and doing questions on ODC forums), or my behavior of saying he is not doing his job well.
I don't know exactly what to do, I've done therapy for three years, but I'm not doing right now. Should I just trust him, because he said he understands? Should I seek another dentist because of his flaws?
Thank you very much.
I think I know what happened. I stoped the Equilid for two days because my doctor's agenda was full and I couldn't contact him to get my meds.
Moreover, on friday, I went to a pub after work to drink and became drunk. That was enough to put my OCD to the edge on the weekend.
I think this Equilid is good for OCD, because it calms down the bad thoughts. By the way, I did some research on Equilid, which hash Sulpirida (or Sulpiride, in US) as active principle:
"Sulpiride (sold as Meresa, Bosnyl, Dogmatil, Dolmatil, Eglonyl, Modal; as Espiride in South Africa) is a first generation, or typical antipsychotic drug of the benzamide class used mainly in the treatment of psychosis associated with schizophrenia and major depressive disorder. Sulpiride is more commonly used in Europe and Japan. Levosulpiride is its purified levo- isomer and is sold in India for similar purpose. So far it has not been approved in the United States and Canada. The drug has strong chemical and clinical similarities to the related antipsychotic amisulpride."
So it looks like it is not used in US yet.
About the Procimax (Celexa) I've never stopeed. I've increased the dosage from 10mg to 20mg already. Maybe we'll increase again later. I'll also ask about the benzodiazepine next meeting.
My OCD is under control again. Uff... it is hard... We are not much allowed of making mistakes, or OCD can go to the edge.
Thank you, I'll take care.
Moreover, on friday, I went to a pub after work to drink and became drunk. That was enough to put my OCD to the edge on the weekend.
I think this Equilid is good for OCD, because it calms down the bad thoughts. By the way, I did some research on Equilid, which hash Sulpirida (or Sulpiride, in US) as active principle:
"Sulpiride (sold as Meresa, Bosnyl, Dogmatil, Dolmatil, Eglonyl, Modal; as Espiride in South Africa) is a first generation, or typical antipsychotic drug of the benzamide class used mainly in the treatment of psychosis associated with schizophrenia and major depressive disorder. Sulpiride is more commonly used in Europe and Japan. Levosulpiride is its purified levo- isomer and is sold in India for similar purpose. So far it has not been approved in the United States and Canada. The drug has strong chemical and clinical similarities to the related antipsychotic amisulpride."
So it looks like it is not used in US yet.
About the Procimax (Celexa) I've never stopeed. I've increased the dosage from 10mg to 20mg already. Maybe we'll increase again later. I'll also ask about the benzodiazepine next meeting.
My OCD is under control again. Uff... it is hard... We are not much allowed of making mistakes, or OCD can go to the edge.
Thank you, I'll take care.
Hello there. Sorry you are having a bad time of it. You know these are irrational thoughts. The dentist was very kind to you and would never do anything to hurt you. But the disorder doesn't let the truth in sometimes. And yes, it can go on and on until we feel like we are in despair. I have been there for sure.
Are you still taking medication? If so, how long has it been? I am wondering if the dosage is enough for you. I would call the prescribing doctor and discuss this to see if you need to go higher in dosage.
Also you might want to ask your doctor about some sort of benzodiazepine to help you when you are in a crisis situation like this weekend. The widely prescribed ones are Xanax and Klonopin here in the states.
Take care....and keep thinking positive.
Are you still taking medication? If so, how long has it been? I am wondering if the dosage is enough for you. I would call the prescribing doctor and discuss this to see if you need to go higher in dosage.
Also you might want to ask your doctor about some sort of benzodiazepine to help you when you are in a crisis situation like this weekend. The widely prescribed ones are Xanax and Klonopin here in the states.
Take care....and keep thinking positive.
My thoughts about the dentist comeback. Why do I keep thinking that he may, somehow, try to infect me? I think that he might threat me bad because I asked him not to do so. I also keep thinking that he might hates me because I talked to him about my condition, and try to revenge on me. I still think about the posts....
On Wednesday, I was able to feel better but today I've found myself thinking bad things again...
The worst part of this compulsive thoughts is that they prevent me from becoming a better person, from "evolving". Every time I have a new idea for my life, or start some new studies, the thoughts come to my mind in such way that I stuck always with the same thinking: "Why would you try to become a better person if you are infected or to be infected, anyway?"
Today I'm kind of stucked. My wife and me were going to go out to enjoy the weekend, but I just can't get out of home. Most of times she understands my condition, but today she is a little sad with me, telling that I never do things with her because I'm allways at home on weekends.
Those cyclic thoughts are way too bad. They suck all my happiness, my energy, and make me feel tired and dizzy. Have you ever felt like that? It is like you are not in real life, but dreaming or something... it is awful.
The good part is that I know I can come here and talk everything.
regards
On Wednesday, I was able to feel better but today I've found myself thinking bad things again...
The worst part of this compulsive thoughts is that they prevent me from becoming a better person, from "evolving". Every time I have a new idea for my life, or start some new studies, the thoughts come to my mind in such way that I stuck always with the same thinking: "Why would you try to become a better person if you are infected or to be infected, anyway?"
Today I'm kind of stucked. My wife and me were going to go out to enjoy the weekend, but I just can't get out of home. Most of times she understands my condition, but today she is a little sad with me, telling that I never do things with her because I'm allways at home on weekends.
Those cyclic thoughts are way too bad. They suck all my happiness, my energy, and make me feel tired and dizzy. Have you ever felt like that? It is like you are not in real life, but dreaming or something... it is awful.
The good part is that I know I can come here and talk everything.
regards
If you could see me, I'm jumping for joy! I'm so happy that you went and that you felt comfortable.
The OCD, yes, that is a tough one. I hate it personally. You have learned some techniques to help yourself and hopefully the medicine will kick in full scale soon and your irrational thoughts will not scare you any more. Sometimes a thought pops into my head, but I don't sit there and dwell on it...I move on.
Post again if you every need to talk.
The OCD, yes, that is a tough one. I hate it personally. You have learned some techniques to help yourself and hopefully the medicine will kick in full scale soon and your irrational thoughts will not scare you any more. Sometimes a thought pops into my head, but I don't sit there and dwell on it...I move on.
Post again if you every need to talk.
Today I went to the dentist. I have to say that everything was flawless. He was very nice to me and everything was very clean. Even my OCD couldn't find anyhing to complain about.
Thank you for supporting me JGF25. I was about to give up my ortho treatment and that would certainly mess my teeth up. I think now that he is a nice guy that just tries his best to make his patients feel better.
OCD made me think so many bad things about him. I've imagined so many obscure ways that he could somehow infect me when, however, he is just trying to do his best to achieve his patients needs. All that guessing about how he could read my posts and revenge me by somehow infecting me is pure OCD and does not reflect reality.
And, like you've said, I'm feeling better after going there. We really have to confront our fears. Of course I still have some fears, but it is becoming easier to control it.
Thank you a lot. You are an angel.
Thank you for supporting me JGF25. I was about to give up my ortho treatment and that would certainly mess my teeth up. I think now that he is a nice guy that just tries his best to make his patients feel better.
OCD made me think so many bad things about him. I've imagined so many obscure ways that he could somehow infect me when, however, he is just trying to do his best to achieve his patients needs. All that guessing about how he could read my posts and revenge me by somehow infecting me is pure OCD and does not reflect reality.
And, like you've said, I'm feeling better after going there. We really have to confront our fears. Of course I still have some fears, but it is becoming easier to control it.
Thank you a lot. You are an angel.
Hi there. The best thing for you to do is face your fears. Remember my story about the AIDS clinic where I had to go and sit there at lunch time because I had an HIV phobia? Because I didn't avoid it, I was able to get past it. It was scary in the beginning but I was really proud of myself for having done it. .
The doctor seems to understand what you are talking about and I really feel confident he will not do anything like that again. Just reiterate your anxiety when you first get there. It will go very well and when you leave you will feel so much better for having gone. Remember, you can't get any bad diseases from a doorknob or anything like that.. That will not happen this time. If you need to, practice your breathing just to keep yourself calm. When I feel the anxiety start to come on, I immediately start breathing and it doesn't go any further.
Post on Wednesday after your appointment. I know you can do this. You just have to remind yourself that these are irrational fears and confront them.
Talk to you Wednesday!
The doctor seems to understand what you are talking about and I really feel confident he will not do anything like that again. Just reiterate your anxiety when you first get there. It will go very well and when you leave you will feel so much better for having gone. Remember, you can't get any bad diseases from a doorknob or anything like that.. That will not happen this time. If you need to, practice your breathing just to keep yourself calm. When I feel the anxiety start to come on, I immediately start breathing and it doesn't go any further.
Post on Wednesday after your appointment. I know you can do this. You just have to remind yourself that these are irrational fears and confront them.
Talk to you Wednesday!
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Community
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Condoms are the most effective way to prevent HIV and STDs.
PrEP is used by people with high risk to prevent HIV infection.
First of all, you won't get an STD from the doctor not wearing gloves after he touches a doorknob. Now if the flu were going around, then maybe. But you did the right thing and asked the doctor to wear the gloves. I promise you that he will in no way do something that would intentionally harm you. This is just another irrational thought. So you don't need to switch doctors. Actually, everytime you do switch doctors, you are giving into the thought and that just makes it worse. It is kind of like adding gasoline to a fire. So just keep on communicating with your doctors about what you need for them to do.
When you were in therapy, what did it do for you? Was it just talk therapy? Did they teach you techniques to combat these irrational thoughts? Were you ever on medication? Why did you stop going to therapy?
It is very, very hard to get a handle on OCD without outside help. There are self-coaching skills you can learn, and you have to try not to avoid the situations that bother you but professional help is really the only way.
Here is a little story about me. I developed a phobia about HIV. I worried about it all the time. What I ended up doing was going and sitting in an AIDS clinic. I sat in the same chairs that the patients sat in. I picked up the same magazines that they picked up, I stayed there for an hour every other day. After this exposure therapy, I was over it. Case solved. Of course it was replaced with some other stupid irrational thought but I just dealt with that one too. For me though, I have to be on medication or I would not be able to function.