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Compulsive with catching STD's
Hello to all.
I am a 26 years old guy that just graduate. I have a good job and good contacts. I live in Brazil and I'm married. I love and trust my wife for everything.
Wasn't everything suppose to be very good in my life? Well it is not. Actually, I'm very, very depressed and feeling really bad. I can't work well. Actually, I'm at work right now, but I'm feeling so bad that I just can't do the things I have to.
I don't know well why that started, but has been two years that I think everything is going to infect me. I've done some posts (with another account which I've lost acces) in the STD's forums, but I know "logically" that I'm not suppose to worry about catching STD's.
My last problems have been about dentists. I've started using braces, because I really need to correct some problems with my teeth and jaw. I started my treatment with a dentist that sometimes didn't wear glooves. That made me crazy and then I could not trust him anymore. Since I could not trust him anymore, I wouldn't go to his office again, so I took the braces out myself with pliers, payed him to get all my exams back, and restarted my treatment with another dentist.
Everything seems to be well until two events. At one time he wasn't wearing a mask and then, later, he opened the door of his office with the glooves that he was using to work on me and, when he returned (with some kind of stuff he couldn't find inside the office), he didn't switch the gloves. So, again, I was not beeing able to trust him. That time, however, I took a different approach. I've decided to talk to him and explain my problem and ask him to be very, very cautious with me, because I have OCD. He said he undestands, and that he had never done anything wrong but, if I feel something is wrong, he asked me to tell him at the time the incident happens.
Now I'm feeling that he is going to do something wrong exactly because I've asked him not to do so. Like not sterelizing some of his stuff or doing something when I can't see him. I've also did some posts on dentists forums/blogs here in Brazil, saying that I was worried about he not switching his glooves (as anonymous, without saying his name, but with a very small chance that he could read and then connect that post to me, because I told my city, e-mail, and the history about the other dentist, which I told him explaining why I've switched). Now I'm now afraid that he could punish me because of my posts (not this one, because I'm writing in english and doing questions on ODC forums), or my behavior of saying he is not doing his job well.
I don't know exactly what to do, I've done therapy for three years, but I'm not doing right now. Should I just trust him, because he said he understands? Should I seek another dentist because of his flaws?
Thank you very much.
I am a 26 years old guy that just graduate. I have a good job and good contacts. I live in Brazil and I'm married. I love and trust my wife for everything.
Wasn't everything suppose to be very good in my life? Well it is not. Actually, I'm very, very depressed and feeling really bad. I can't work well. Actually, I'm at work right now, but I'm feeling so bad that I just can't do the things I have to.
I don't know well why that started, but has been two years that I think everything is going to infect me. I've done some posts (with another account which I've lost acces) in the STD's forums, but I know "logically" that I'm not suppose to worry about catching STD's.
My last problems have been about dentists. I've started using braces, because I really need to correct some problems with my teeth and jaw. I started my treatment with a dentist that sometimes didn't wear glooves. That made me crazy and then I could not trust him anymore. Since I could not trust him anymore, I wouldn't go to his office again, so I took the braces out myself with pliers, payed him to get all my exams back, and restarted my treatment with another dentist.
Everything seems to be well until two events. At one time he wasn't wearing a mask and then, later, he opened the door of his office with the glooves that he was using to work on me and, when he returned (with some kind of stuff he couldn't find inside the office), he didn't switch the gloves. So, again, I was not beeing able to trust him. That time, however, I took a different approach. I've decided to talk to him and explain my problem and ask him to be very, very cautious with me, because I have OCD. He said he undestands, and that he had never done anything wrong but, if I feel something is wrong, he asked me to tell him at the time the incident happens.
Now I'm feeling that he is going to do something wrong exactly because I've asked him not to do so. Like not sterelizing some of his stuff or doing something when I can't see him. I've also did some posts on dentists forums/blogs here in Brazil, saying that I was worried about he not switching his glooves (as anonymous, without saying his name, but with a very small chance that he could read and then connect that post to me, because I told my city, e-mail, and the history about the other dentist, which I told him explaining why I've switched). Now I'm now afraid that he could punish me because of my posts (not this one, because I'm writing in english and doing questions on ODC forums), or my behavior of saying he is not doing his job well.
I don't know exactly what to do, I've done therapy for three years, but I'm not doing right now. Should I just trust him, because he said he understands? Should I seek another dentist because of his flaws?
Thank you very much.
Best Answer
Hello. I really need your advice now.
On wednsday I need to go to see my dentist (ortho). I still have fears. I've been feeling better, like I told before, but I don't know why I keep fearing the dentist.
Like I've said, I've already talked to him (about 5 weeks ago) and explained my OCD problem. By that time, he said that I could ask anything that I think it was wrong about his behavior while taking care of my teeth, and also said that everything he uses is sterilized and that he is concerned about biosecurity.
However, I think that he made some mistakes while taking care of me, like touching the doorknob and then comebacking to my mouth, and that made me unable to trust him again.
He is a very good ortho (technically speaking) and my teeth are becoming really nice. On the other hand I keep fearing contracting something there.
What should I do?
On wednsday I need to go to see my dentist (ortho). I still have fears. I've been feeling better, like I told before, but I don't know why I keep fearing the dentist.
Like I've said, I've already talked to him (about 5 weeks ago) and explained my OCD problem. By that time, he said that I could ask anything that I think it was wrong about his behavior while taking care of my teeth, and also said that everything he uses is sterilized and that he is concerned about biosecurity.
However, I think that he made some mistakes while taking care of me, like touching the doorknob and then comebacking to my mouth, and that made me unable to trust him again.
He is a very good ortho (technically speaking) and my teeth are becoming really nice. On the other hand I keep fearing contracting something there.
What should I do?
I'm so happy for you! I'm glad the medications are making you feel better.
You are so right about the coffee. It is an OCD person's worst enemy. I too gave up caffeinated drinks after my last major OCD breakdown in May. I won't even drink diet coke or pepsi unless it is caffeine free. I do drink decaff coffee because like you, I need that mega cup in the am and then a few at work not to keep me up but just out of habit and I really missed the taste when I gave it up all together.
Looking forward to more positive posts in the future!
You are so right about the coffee. It is an OCD person's worst enemy. I too gave up caffeinated drinks after my last major OCD breakdown in May. I won't even drink diet coke or pepsi unless it is caffeine free. I do drink decaff coffee because like you, I need that mega cup in the am and then a few at work not to keep me up but just out of habit and I really missed the taste when I gave it up all together.
Looking forward to more positive posts in the future!
Hey JGF25, congratulations that now you are a Community Leader, you deserve it.
Comebacking to me, I would like to say that I'm feeling ok lately. I'm not worrying that much with catching HIV, HCV, etc, and believing more on realistic/statistic facts other than just letting OCD drive me crazy.
I'm taking 20mg of Procimax per day now, and I keep with 50mg of Equilid. I'm not on therapy yet, just taking medication (I might start therapy soon).
One thing that I didn't mention here is that, since my problems with OCD started, my sleeping became awfull. I really had (and still have) a hard time when trying to sleep.
However, I've found something that helped me: stop drinking coffee. I think that coffee is bad for people who suffers from OCD. Well, at least in my case, stop drinking coffee helped sleeping better and maybe not worrying that much with OCD stuff.
It is very hard to stop drinking coffee. I work in front of a computer and I'm very used to allways have a big cup of coffee by my side. It is just like a friend that is allways there. And when you have OCD you just keep drinking and drinking, because you are compulsive.
Well, it was helpful for me. I think everyone should try.
Regards, I'll keep posting,
Comebacking to me, I would like to say that I'm feeling ok lately. I'm not worrying that much with catching HIV, HCV, etc, and believing more on realistic/statistic facts other than just letting OCD drive me crazy.
I'm taking 20mg of Procimax per day now, and I keep with 50mg of Equilid. I'm not on therapy yet, just taking medication (I might start therapy soon).
One thing that I didn't mention here is that, since my problems with OCD started, my sleeping became awfull. I really had (and still have) a hard time when trying to sleep.
However, I've found something that helped me: stop drinking coffee. I think that coffee is bad for people who suffers from OCD. Well, at least in my case, stop drinking coffee helped sleeping better and maybe not worrying that much with OCD stuff.
It is very hard to stop drinking coffee. I work in front of a computer and I'm very used to allways have a big cup of coffee by my side. It is just like a friend that is allways there. And when you have OCD you just keep drinking and drinking, because you are compulsive.
Well, it was helpful for me. I think everyone should try.
Regards, I'll keep posting,
You are doing wonderful on all accounts. Unfortuantely, as you have found out, with OCD there is always some new irrational thought coming along to drive us crazy. So keep up with your medication. About 4-6 weeks later, you will be over this and back to your normal self.
Take care.
Take care.
And, by the way, what do you think about my english? I've never went to a country where people speak english (I've learned from classes and internet =p).
I've been feeling better lately, really. I've been feeling so better that I've postponed my dentist because I'm afraid that everything suddenly comeback (I know I should've gone there but I just did not want everything to comeback). I will try again going there next week.
But OCD can be very tricky. Today I woke up with one of my tooth paining and more sensible. Actually, it has been this way since I did a cavity filling in the begining of the year (sometimes better, sometimes worse). I went again to the dentist by that time and he said that I was removing the filling because I have bruxism and that was causing my tooth to pain. I've filled it again and decided to wait until my treatment with the braces finish, so that it could be corrected because my jaw would be in the correct position.
OCD is a crazy thing. I've started fantasizing that my exposed dentin could be a channel to my blood circulation and that I could be infected by eating something infected. The little pain I feel never bothers me (the pain itself only happens sometimes and it is very small) but OCD can make it so huge.
I warn everyone reading this, that also suffer from OCD, that OCD is totally irrational, but for whoever is under its effect it looks so, so real.
I'll keep my treatment. I think it is the only way to go. I've already feeling so much better and I've suggested everyone who also suffer from OCD that seek professional help as soon as possible.
Best wishes.
But OCD can be very tricky. Today I woke up with one of my tooth paining and more sensible. Actually, it has been this way since I did a cavity filling in the begining of the year (sometimes better, sometimes worse). I went again to the dentist by that time and he said that I was removing the filling because I have bruxism and that was causing my tooth to pain. I've filled it again and decided to wait until my treatment with the braces finish, so that it could be corrected because my jaw would be in the correct position.
OCD is a crazy thing. I've started fantasizing that my exposed dentin could be a channel to my blood circulation and that I could be infected by eating something infected. The little pain I feel never bothers me (the pain itself only happens sometimes and it is very small) but OCD can make it so huge.
I warn everyone reading this, that also suffer from OCD, that OCD is totally irrational, but for whoever is under its effect it looks so, so real.
I'll keep my treatment. I think it is the only way to go. I've already feeling so much better and I've suggested everyone who also suffer from OCD that seek professional help as soon as possible.
Best wishes.
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Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
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STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Condoms are the most effective way to prevent HIV and STDs.
PrEP is used by people with high risk to prevent HIV infection.
First of all, you won't get an STD from the doctor not wearing gloves after he touches a doorknob. Now if the flu were going around, then maybe. But you did the right thing and asked the doctor to wear the gloves. I promise you that he will in no way do something that would intentionally harm you. This is just another irrational thought. So you don't need to switch doctors. Actually, everytime you do switch doctors, you are giving into the thought and that just makes it worse. It is kind of like adding gasoline to a fire. So just keep on communicating with your doctors about what you need for them to do.
When you were in therapy, what did it do for you? Was it just talk therapy? Did they teach you techniques to combat these irrational thoughts? Were you ever on medication? Why did you stop going to therapy?
It is very, very hard to get a handle on OCD without outside help. There are self-coaching skills you can learn, and you have to try not to avoid the situations that bother you but professional help is really the only way.
Here is a little story about me. I developed a phobia about HIV. I worried about it all the time. What I ended up doing was going and sitting in an AIDS clinic. I sat in the same chairs that the patients sat in. I picked up the same magazines that they picked up, I stayed there for an hour every other day. After this exposure therapy, I was over it. Case solved. Of course it was replaced with some other stupid irrational thought but I just dealt with that one too. For me though, I have to be on medication or I would not be able to function.