Does anyone else suffer from severe HIV OCD?

[CL4321]

hello all,
for a while now I have suffered from severe HIV OCD. I have "contracted" hiv a million different times, a million different ways. From accidentally drinking my friends drink, getting "poked" when pumping gas, getting "poked" when opening a door to a store, shaking hands, stepping on a needle, etc. I know in my mind that it is completely ridiculous but i can not seem to shake the fact that it is basically impossible to get in these ways (just after saying that, i had to knock on wood). I had about 4 HIV tests in the span of 7 months (which is completely ridiculous, i know). I often have bad thoughts about people with HIV, which i DO NOT mean. they pop into my head, and i feel so bad after they happen. I often check my body for new things, and when i do find something new, i think i was poked by an infected needle. I am sexually active -- i even made my newest partner get tested before we had sex.

I am so sorry for rambling, but I have no one else to talk to. My friends dont understand and when i do try to talk to them, they dont understand. I am so grateful that I have found this website -- it is such a relief to have complete strangers who are willing to help.

So, after my long ramble.. my question is, does anyone out there suffer from HIV OCD/anxiety? how do you deal with it?

Thank you so much and God Bless.

[gin12345678]

I have had ocd over hiv for abt 4 yrs now n each time an episode starts itcripples me so much tt i cant function properly inwld be fine fr a few mnths then start another bout of obsessive thoughts. It is so tiring bt i fid comfort in this forum

[abby50077]

I have had OCD for 5 years, it started because I was sexually attacked by my ex, I fear hiv so much, then a few weeks ago my worst fear happened, I had sex with my bf and the condom broke, he told me after that he had unprotected sex with some girl he took on a date, it was a one night stand. I went to see the dr the next day, took him too, she refused top test me as it was too soon. I had the test done yesterday and need to wait till monday for the results.
its hell!! feel like im going out of my mind with worry, my bf swears he is not infected in any way, and so many health professionals say the chances are soooooooo small, but Im still scared.
any advice on how I can survive the next 2 days?

[RainLover71]

I think that most people that suffer OCD have some type of fear of HIV because the way in which the media has potrayed the disease,if you google AIDS images it's shocking what you see when really that is not a reflection of how people with the virus look today.

[ben274]

hey, you're not alone in this.
I'm sitting at home awaiting my 7th HIV test results in two years and realizing to myself that even if its negative AGAIN i might still be worried.
I've always had mild anxiety & OCD but nothing overly debilitating, but then I had a huge scare about a year ago and since then i haven't been myself. It's interfered with every aspect of my life as I can't seem to get past the 'what if's?' in my head.
And now, after this test I just had, I'm worrying that maybe the last time I went they forgot to use a new needle, since I didn't see them open a new package. The doctor assured me this was impossible, and even showed me how they always throw out the syringe after, but I still can't help it.
If anyone else told me they were worried about getting HIV from a HIV test I would think they were an idiot.
So yeah.

[jenniferluv12]

Im 21 and I think I may of OCD over hiv, the last month has been a wreck for me. I can sleep and if I do get to sleep I cry myself to sleep. I havent been in a sexual relationship and I dont do any kinds of drugs. It all started when I got strep throat and I could afford to go to the doctors and I looked up remedies and used salt and vinger to cure it. The I go on the internet and all these systoms of hiv came up and freaked me out cause now im sooo worried it wasnt strep and on top of that I brushed my tongue with salt and vinger really really hard now my taste buds are swollenm but now im thinking what if they already were swollen and now I have a sore throath and I dont know why(I do smoke) but I went to the hospital cause I thought I got aids for a nail that was in my room but he said there is no way I could of, So if I didnt get it that way maybe if I walked outside and didnt wear shoes blood got into the my cut with the nail. I really need help here nobody will talk to me about this and my parents cant stand me waking them up all hours of the night but I cant help it im sooo scared. :( I could go on and on but I know that it wont help but even if im ignored I have to let some of this out anyways ive been look for doctor chats online because I dont know how I got strep from just sitting in my house:(

[CL4321]

thank you! i will look into it!