Just recently my beautiful, bright 8 and 1/2 year old daughter has told me about some very troubling thoughts that have been popping into her head. She is by all accounts a wonderful, compassionate and empathetic little girl. She has always been so grounded and resilient and I was so relieved that she has never shown any of the obsessive compulsive traits that have plagued my family. I have a history of Anorexia and I have an older brother who has OCD and an older brother who is Schizophrenic.
While spending the night at my Mom's house while my sister was in town (she loves her aunt), she couldn't sleep and came downstairs to snuggle with her aunt. My sister thought she was asleep and turned a Discovery I.D. program on that was about a woman who murdered her husband. She was very upset and started having thoughts that I or my husband were going to die and that my husband was going to kill her. I reassured her and thought it was a normal reaction to a scary show. Then she started telling me every little thought that she had in her head and I became alarmed. She told me that she was thinking about choreographing a dance to a song called "blow" she was so excited about all the ideas she had. Then she was crying one day and she told me it was because she had a thought come into her head that at the end of the song, her Daddy and I had bombs strapped to us and we exploded. Then.....she said that she was crying because her mind said she did it on purpose. I reacted calmy and told her she would NEVER hurt us. She said that was what was so scary. She knows she wouldn't and why does that thought keep coming into her brain. She has told me everyday since about a thought she has had about hurting or killing all of those she loves and it is torturing my poor little baby's mind. I made an appt with her pediatrician who suggested a child psychologist. She was wonderful with her and I am trying so hard not to react with shock or hurt when she tells me these things but tonight I must not have hidden it because she was crying and said, Mama, why did you stop short when I said that? She is so ashamed and I need to help her! We are going to go to counseling as I will do everything in my power to not have her suffer like this! She said today that she feels sad for no reason. Has anyone else ever gone through this?