ocd has gone off the rocker again

[OcdJohn]

I'm in tears right now....

I seriously can't do this ocd **** any more.

I've been threw it all the STDs,Hiv,Hocd,cancer,thinking I was attracted to kids.

Its like in one day I had a reoccurring event for them all the HIV stuck all I did was shake a gay guys hand and my gf said he's cool and he has HIV. I now fear that I scrathed him and the diease got under my finger nails and with no form of air under my nails and no way to enter my body it will be stuck under there forever and I'll effect people without knowing...yeah its gotten there.

I've never seemed true professional help..i need it. Alot. What steps should I take? I usually get over it but it seems like every year at this time I relapse with something new or something old. Can it be beat?

[JGF25]

Yes the meds will help you let things go...the thought may come but the meds will help you with the "whatever" attitude. Good luck.

[hahaokay]

It seems to have centered in in hocd. The HIV and std is still there but not as bad..its not really alot of anxiety behind it I mean some just alot of intrusive thoughts is that normal. I'm going to see a Dr to prescribe meds this week. Quick question about that will the meds also cut back the intrusive thoughts?

[JGF25]

They are addicting actually but only in the sense that if you were to decide to stop taking it you would have to taper off with your doctors help. I have been on and off and then back on again.

[hahaokay]

I'm gonna talk to him. I think he just says there addicting and I told him its not like I'm gonna be abusing them. I mean the pill was made for me in the first place

[JGF25]

In the end, you are paying them and if you think that medication is something you want to try, then I think they will go along with it.  You know yourself better than anyone and it does get exhausting!  

[hahaokay]

So 3 weeks into therapy and most of the odds have calmed down but hocd seems to wanna stay around. Like this morning I wanted to give a girl my number not even 4 hrs later I think I'm gay. Like I've never been with a guy nor had a desire til my mind told me I was last yr..i eventually got over it.. Its back again. My therapist is kinda reluctant to put my on meds. How do I go about telling him I wanna start? I'm just always exhausted from thinking to much..the intrusive thoughts get to me. Things I check I never would have done before. I've been with close to 17-20 girls I don't see why my Mind would think this..