Aa
ocd has gone off the rocker again
I'm in tears right now....
I seriously can't do this ocd **** any more.
I've been threw it all the STDs,Hiv,Hocd,cancer,thinking I was attracted to kids.
Its like in one day I had a reoccurring event for them all the HIV stuck all I did was shake a gay guys hand and my gf said he's cool and he has HIV. I now fear that I scrathed him and the diease got under my finger nails and with no form of air under my nails and no way to enter my body it will be stuck under there forever and I'll effect people without knowing...yeah its gotten there.
I've never seemed true professional help..i need it. Alot. What steps should I take? I usually get over it but it seems like every year at this time I relapse with something new or something old. Can it be beat?
I seriously can't do this ocd **** any more.
I've been threw it all the STDs,Hiv,Hocd,cancer,thinking I was attracted to kids.
Its like in one day I had a reoccurring event for them all the HIV stuck all I did was shake a gay guys hand and my gf said he's cool and he has HIV. I now fear that I scrathed him and the diease got under my finger nails and with no form of air under my nails and no way to enter my body it will be stuck under there forever and I'll effect people without knowing...yeah its gotten there.
I've never seemed true professional help..i need it. Alot. What steps should I take? I usually get over it but it seems like every year at this time I relapse with something new or something old. Can it be beat?
Don't beat yourself up. I'm proud of the fact that I am where I am even though I couldn't do it without medication in the end. I still have the odd panic attack which I use CBT on and I have control and that makes me the most proud. You are going to be just fine.
I just hate that I remember bragging to myself how I beat all these ocds a few months ago now...same boat...its really irrational now I think HIV blood can live under my nails and go detected cause no blood or air is there..like I'm sure if that was even a reasonable threat...it would be considered a risk..lol but my mind doesn't see it that way. I think its cause winter depresses me and usually after break UPS so I think mines depression related.
I guess it could be seasonal probably because you are doing more in the summer and in the winter we tend to be more house-bound with idle minds and idle minds go to the dark side! Mine is not seasonal.
I'm excited for you. I know these actions are going to help you. My husband thought I was a looney-toones when it got really bad and I was pregnant so I'm sure he was second guessing his choice for the mother of his children! Anyway, I've been married for 23 years so he has gotten used to my "psycho" moments but like you I do try to internalize it if I can. This last go around I simply told him I was going to be crazy for a little while but when the meds kick in, I would be normal again. He doesn't understand but he is supportive. That is all we can ask for. I see this as the start of your "new and improved" life :)
I'm excited for you. I know these actions are going to help you. My husband thought I was a looney-toones when it got really bad and I was pregnant so I'm sure he was second guessing his choice for the mother of his children! Anyway, I've been married for 23 years so he has gotten used to my "psycho" moments but like you I do try to internalize it if I can. This last go around I simply told him I was going to be crazy for a little while but when the meds kick in, I would be normal again. He doesn't understand but he is supportive. That is all we can ask for. I see this as the start of your "new and improved" life :)
Sorry its so long.. Is there any research to ocd only happening around certain times of the year like the summer time I have no ocd..at all I can touch blood..no thoughts..have unprotected sex no thoughts..winter hits..ocd hits
I set an appointment next Thursday with a psychologist. I decided to write down everything I've had ocd about.. The list shocked me.
-When I was young I would stress for days about going to hell. I remember my grandpa would put a rag on my head and tell me yo breath.
- When I was in high school infrared the end of the world so I bad I had to force myself to take Nyquil to sleep.
-I had a hookup during a breakup where the girl told me she had Hsv2 and I stressed over that for 3 months and it ended my 3 1/2 relationship cause the girl couldn't stand my OCD(at the time I didn't know what it was..i stressed over all stds( I feel like this is what started it being unbearable)
-later the same yr I went to the hospital twice a week for month or so cause I thought I had cancer I went tons dentist cause i thought I had mouth cancer..ive never had a cavity and then went to a dermatologist cause i thought I had skin cancer...i know..i had a colonoscopy at 20 cause my mind told me I had blood in my stool never did..
-Year passes I have the HIV fear I couldn't touch people washed my hands every 5-10 mins...it was hard to beat really hard.
-Last year was the worst one..hocd...oh man I fought like hell with that one..worst 3-4 months of my life..suicide contemplating and all that. Pocd was bad too I secluded myself..
I also have sufferd from bulimia since high school...bout 6-7 years.
I hide this very very well all of it. I'm the mans man..the popular kid..but little does everyone know I'm crazy lol.
anyway after looking over the list I was in shock how long I've put this off. I truly am excited to beat this. I think I need medicated. But I wanna try therapy and learn first..
-When I was young I would stress for days about going to hell. I remember my grandpa would put a rag on my head and tell me yo breath.
- When I was in high school infrared the end of the world so I bad I had to force myself to take Nyquil to sleep.
-I had a hookup during a breakup where the girl told me she had Hsv2 and I stressed over that for 3 months and it ended my 3 1/2 relationship cause the girl couldn't stand my OCD(at the time I didn't know what it was..i stressed over all stds( I feel like this is what started it being unbearable)
-later the same yr I went to the hospital twice a week for month or so cause I thought I had cancer I went tons dentist cause i thought I had mouth cancer..ive never had a cavity and then went to a dermatologist cause i thought I had skin cancer...i know..i had a colonoscopy at 20 cause my mind told me I had blood in my stool never did..
-Year passes I have the HIV fear I couldn't touch people washed my hands every 5-10 mins...it was hard to beat really hard.
-Last year was the worst one..hocd...oh man I fought like hell with that one..worst 3-4 months of my life..suicide contemplating and all that. Pocd was bad too I secluded myself..
I also have sufferd from bulimia since high school...bout 6-7 years.
I hide this very very well all of it. I'm the mans man..the popular kid..but little does everyone know I'm crazy lol.
anyway after looking over the list I was in shock how long I've put this off. I truly am excited to beat this. I think I need medicated. But I wanna try therapy and learn first..
Thanks!
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Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Condoms are the most effective way to prevent HIV and STDs.
PrEP is used by people with high risk to prevent HIV infection.
