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New Donna Update
Dear Friends,
I received a text msg from Donna a little while ago and I am just going to write it here verbatim.
"Starting to tell everyone may have 2 get news from u hard 2 type answers 2 all 4 me now lol put u as who will let them know i appreciate them all get so looped on dilaudid"
I am glad she gets looped on dilaudid, that means she isn't in any pain.
I sent her two texts that she answered in one. I asked her if she wanted Cory to come get her husband out of the house tomorrow while she picks out her funeral arrangements. OMG I can't even imagine. The funeral home people are going to go to her house so she doesn't have to get out. Her husband "J" thought she would get better once she was home and is having a hard time dealing with the reality of the situation. For him picking that stuff is in the unseen future, for Donna it is close at hand, so I think he will take it hard. Donna is so strong even now she is more worried about those around her than herself. Her pastor came to visit today also so I think that was a good thing. I also told her I was going to ask you all to say your goodbyes and than stop writing because it was to taxing on her and she didn't need to be worrying about whether she was hurting someone's feelings or not. You all know how it is. This is her response to those text msgs.
"I hope j will pick his stuff 2 he said he would & no one 2 do it 4 him talked to chris & ronnie just now & they want 2 send notes if i can't answer so i want them 2 know i c them & appr it & u would update 4 me pastor helped"
Donna's onc told her that she could have two months if she stayed on the glucose IV, but that it would get uncomfortable for her and she would want to stop it. She gets about 1500 calories a day that way, but that is not the same as food and Donna is losing a lot of weight. She will slowly starve to death if she stays on it to long so she will stop sometime soon. We are looking at week/s not months now. Cory and I are going down Friday and I don't know how long we will stay. Maybe just the day, maybe longer. I know I am going back down next week also after my CT/Chest X Ray on Tuesday and will stay several days if not longer. I want to be there for her in the end and that is so up in the air right now. She has decided that when she gets to a certain point she wants to be in the hospital/hospice care. It is a local hospital in a small town, but she has a Dr friend who works there and she will get VIP treatment. She is kind of afraid of being in pain and worried about how J will take it if she dies at home. She is afraid he will lose it and not know what to do. That is one of the reasons I want to be there. Just in case she doesn't get to the hospital before, I don't want him to be home alone when/if it does happen like that. She is not to awfully afraid of the dying part, but she is scared of being in pain so that is one reason she is choosing the hospital at the end. She has gone the range of feelings and is angry at the Drs who can't do anything, angry at the world, angry that she has to go so young, angry that J will be left alone, but through all of that anger, she is LOL a lot so that could be a good lesson for us: no matter how angry we get, we have to keep our heads and not let the rage keep us from LOL. Most of you know who/what I am talking about. I will keep you informed as well as I can. Please understand if Donna does not answer your notes or emails. She just doesn't have it in her right now, but wants you all to know how much she loves and appreciates all of you for your numerous kindnesses.
Love,
Jan
I received a text msg from Donna a little while ago and I am just going to write it here verbatim.
"Starting to tell everyone may have 2 get news from u hard 2 type answers 2 all 4 me now lol put u as who will let them know i appreciate them all get so looped on dilaudid"
I am glad she gets looped on dilaudid, that means she isn't in any pain.
I sent her two texts that she answered in one. I asked her if she wanted Cory to come get her husband out of the house tomorrow while she picks out her funeral arrangements. OMG I can't even imagine. The funeral home people are going to go to her house so she doesn't have to get out. Her husband "J" thought she would get better once she was home and is having a hard time dealing with the reality of the situation. For him picking that stuff is in the unseen future, for Donna it is close at hand, so I think he will take it hard. Donna is so strong even now she is more worried about those around her than herself. Her pastor came to visit today also so I think that was a good thing. I also told her I was going to ask you all to say your goodbyes and than stop writing because it was to taxing on her and she didn't need to be worrying about whether she was hurting someone's feelings or not. You all know how it is. This is her response to those text msgs.
"I hope j will pick his stuff 2 he said he would & no one 2 do it 4 him talked to chris & ronnie just now & they want 2 send notes if i can't answer so i want them 2 know i c them & appr it & u would update 4 me pastor helped"
Donna's onc told her that she could have two months if she stayed on the glucose IV, but that it would get uncomfortable for her and she would want to stop it. She gets about 1500 calories a day that way, but that is not the same as food and Donna is losing a lot of weight. She will slowly starve to death if she stays on it to long so she will stop sometime soon. We are looking at week/s not months now. Cory and I are going down Friday and I don't know how long we will stay. Maybe just the day, maybe longer. I know I am going back down next week also after my CT/Chest X Ray on Tuesday and will stay several days if not longer. I want to be there for her in the end and that is so up in the air right now. She has decided that when she gets to a certain point she wants to be in the hospital/hospice care. It is a local hospital in a small town, but she has a Dr friend who works there and she will get VIP treatment. She is kind of afraid of being in pain and worried about how J will take it if she dies at home. She is afraid he will lose it and not know what to do. That is one of the reasons I want to be there. Just in case she doesn't get to the hospital before, I don't want him to be home alone when/if it does happen like that. She is not to awfully afraid of the dying part, but she is scared of being in pain so that is one reason she is choosing the hospital at the end. She has gone the range of feelings and is angry at the Drs who can't do anything, angry at the world, angry that she has to go so young, angry that J will be left alone, but through all of that anger, she is LOL a lot so that could be a good lesson for us: no matter how angry we get, we have to keep our heads and not let the rage keep us from LOL. Most of you know who/what I am talking about. I will keep you informed as well as I can. Please understand if Donna does not answer your notes or emails. She just doesn't have it in her right now, but wants you all to know how much she loves and appreciates all of you for your numerous kindnesses.
Love,
Jan
A simple message for you both - love, hugs and go in peace.
My heart is breaking. I send all my love to you and pray that you have no pain. Donna, you are an amazing, strong, funny woman and thank you for being so caring and concerned for all of your friends here. Peace to you.
May the blessing of light be on you—
light without and light within.
May the blessed sunlight shine on you
and warm your heart
till it glows like a great peat fire.
Thank you Jan and how wonderful for Donna to be surrounded by so much love.
Peace and Love...Kim
May the blessing of light be on you—
light without and light within.
May the blessed sunlight shine on you
and warm your heart
till it glows like a great peat fire.
Thank you Jan and how wonderful for Donna to be surrounded by so much love.
Peace and Love...Kim
Jan, thanks again for the update. I too will not write a message to Donna, but please tell her that I love her and wish we could have known each other better and longer. I can not imagine what she is going through (or what J must be going through), but I am amazed by her strength and compassion for all of us and her family. She is going to be greatly missed.
Jan, I am sending you a PM. I hope you get it this time. Love ya, Kasie
Jan, I am sending you a PM. I hope you get it this time. Love ya, Kasie
Donna please know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Jan thank you for being such a good friend.
Very sad to learn the situation of Donna. Thank you Jan for sharing. I'll keep praying for her and hope she is with someone she loves.
Peace and Love
jun
Peace and Love
jun
I hate this....I really, really do. I'm not good at saying the right things or being eloquint enough to properly tell Donna what an amazing and wonderful human being she truly is.
If someone could pease let her know that I'm thinking of her and will pray that she remains free from pain. I know that she'll be on the other side, cheering us all on as we continue our battles. I know that when ever I'm having a rough day or I'm scared I'll think of Donna and ask her to send me strength just as I'm sending to her now.
I love you Donna...and will never, ever forget you.
((HUGS))
Becky
If someone could pease let her know that I'm thinking of her and will pray that she remains free from pain. I know that she'll be on the other side, cheering us all on as we continue our battles. I know that when ever I'm having a rough day or I'm scared I'll think of Donna and ask her to send me strength just as I'm sending to her now.
I love you Donna...and will never, ever forget you.
((HUGS))
Becky
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