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New Donna Update
Dear Friends,
I received a text msg from Donna a little while ago and I am just going to write it here verbatim.
"Starting to tell everyone may have 2 get news from u hard 2 type answers 2 all 4 me now lol put u as who will let them know i appreciate them all get so looped on dilaudid"
I am glad she gets looped on dilaudid, that means she isn't in any pain.
I sent her two texts that she answered in one. I asked her if she wanted Cory to come get her husband out of the house tomorrow while she picks out her funeral arrangements. OMG I can't even imagine. The funeral home people are going to go to her house so she doesn't have to get out. Her husband "J" thought she would get better once she was home and is having a hard time dealing with the reality of the situation. For him picking that stuff is in the unseen future, for Donna it is close at hand, so I think he will take it hard. Donna is so strong even now she is more worried about those around her than herself. Her pastor came to visit today also so I think that was a good thing. I also told her I was going to ask you all to say your goodbyes and than stop writing because it was to taxing on her and she didn't need to be worrying about whether she was hurting someone's feelings or not. You all know how it is. This is her response to those text msgs.
"I hope j will pick his stuff 2 he said he would & no one 2 do it 4 him talked to chris & ronnie just now & they want 2 send notes if i can't answer so i want them 2 know i c them & appr it & u would update 4 me pastor helped"
Donna's onc told her that she could have two months if she stayed on the glucose IV, but that it would get uncomfortable for her and she would want to stop it. She gets about 1500 calories a day that way, but that is not the same as food and Donna is losing a lot of weight. She will slowly starve to death if she stays on it to long so she will stop sometime soon. We are looking at week/s not months now. Cory and I are going down Friday and I don't know how long we will stay. Maybe just the day, maybe longer. I know I am going back down next week also after my CT/Chest X Ray on Tuesday and will stay several days if not longer. I want to be there for her in the end and that is so up in the air right now. She has decided that when she gets to a certain point she wants to be in the hospital/hospice care. It is a local hospital in a small town, but she has a Dr friend who works there and she will get VIP treatment. She is kind of afraid of being in pain and worried about how J will take it if she dies at home. She is afraid he will lose it and not know what to do. That is one of the reasons I want to be there. Just in case she doesn't get to the hospital before, I don't want him to be home alone when/if it does happen like that. She is not to awfully afraid of the dying part, but she is scared of being in pain so that is one reason she is choosing the hospital at the end. She has gone the range of feelings and is angry at the Drs who can't do anything, angry at the world, angry that she has to go so young, angry that J will be left alone, but through all of that anger, she is LOL a lot so that could be a good lesson for us: no matter how angry we get, we have to keep our heads and not let the rage keep us from LOL. Most of you know who/what I am talking about. I will keep you informed as well as I can. Please understand if Donna does not answer your notes or emails. She just doesn't have it in her right now, but wants you all to know how much she loves and appreciates all of you for your numerous kindnesses.
Love,
Jan
I received a text msg from Donna a little while ago and I am just going to write it here verbatim.
"Starting to tell everyone may have 2 get news from u hard 2 type answers 2 all 4 me now lol put u as who will let them know i appreciate them all get so looped on dilaudid"
I am glad she gets looped on dilaudid, that means she isn't in any pain.
I sent her two texts that she answered in one. I asked her if she wanted Cory to come get her husband out of the house tomorrow while she picks out her funeral arrangements. OMG I can't even imagine. The funeral home people are going to go to her house so she doesn't have to get out. Her husband "J" thought she would get better once she was home and is having a hard time dealing with the reality of the situation. For him picking that stuff is in the unseen future, for Donna it is close at hand, so I think he will take it hard. Donna is so strong even now she is more worried about those around her than herself. Her pastor came to visit today also so I think that was a good thing. I also told her I was going to ask you all to say your goodbyes and than stop writing because it was to taxing on her and she didn't need to be worrying about whether she was hurting someone's feelings or not. You all know how it is. This is her response to those text msgs.
"I hope j will pick his stuff 2 he said he would & no one 2 do it 4 him talked to chris & ronnie just now & they want 2 send notes if i can't answer so i want them 2 know i c them & appr it & u would update 4 me pastor helped"
Donna's onc told her that she could have two months if she stayed on the glucose IV, but that it would get uncomfortable for her and she would want to stop it. She gets about 1500 calories a day that way, but that is not the same as food and Donna is losing a lot of weight. She will slowly starve to death if she stays on it to long so she will stop sometime soon. We are looking at week/s not months now. Cory and I are going down Friday and I don't know how long we will stay. Maybe just the day, maybe longer. I know I am going back down next week also after my CT/Chest X Ray on Tuesday and will stay several days if not longer. I want to be there for her in the end and that is so up in the air right now. She has decided that when she gets to a certain point she wants to be in the hospital/hospice care. It is a local hospital in a small town, but she has a Dr friend who works there and she will get VIP treatment. She is kind of afraid of being in pain and worried about how J will take it if she dies at home. She is afraid he will lose it and not know what to do. That is one of the reasons I want to be there. Just in case she doesn't get to the hospital before, I don't want him to be home alone when/if it does happen like that. She is not to awfully afraid of the dying part, but she is scared of being in pain so that is one reason she is choosing the hospital at the end. She has gone the range of feelings and is angry at the Drs who can't do anything, angry at the world, angry that she has to go so young, angry that J will be left alone, but through all of that anger, she is LOL a lot so that could be a good lesson for us: no matter how angry we get, we have to keep our heads and not let the rage keep us from LOL. Most of you know who/what I am talking about. I will keep you informed as well as I can. Please understand if Donna does not answer your notes or emails. She just doesn't have it in her right now, but wants you all to know how much she loves and appreciates all of you for your numerous kindnesses.
Love,
Jan
Your such a super lady to be thinking of Donna and her husband right now especially when you yourself are suffering....God bless you..you are an angel..Jan.
Please tell Donna she is in my prayers and thoughts as she goes through this very tough time...(((hugz))~~~Joanne
Please tell Donna she is in my prayers and thoughts as she goes through this very tough time...(((hugz))~~~Joanne
Although I rarely post on this forum I have been an avid reader. I am absolutley awstruck by your passion and devotion to the ladies on this forum. I do not know you other than following your posts, but somehow you have taken a place in my heart. I was not a person of strong faith until I was dx w/ovca. Now I pray daily, not just for myself, but for all the woman on this forum. I cried when I watched the release of the balloons in Springfield on youtube.
Over the months I have seen many posts by msjazz. She was a regular poster and I guess sometimes when you see the same folks posting on a regular basis everything is cool and life goes on. This is no longer the case for Donna. Oh, Lord I pray she is not suffering pain or feels alone. I don't technically "know" her, but my heart goes out to her, her husband, and family. You and your husband must truly be living angels to make the time to help in any way you can. I have read your recent posts, Jan, and I hope you also take care of yourself. In my opinion you are one of the strongest presence on the ovca forum.
Please Lord, wrap your arms around Donna and give her peace and comfort as her life here on earth evolves into an angel for ever more.
I pray for Jan to have strength, but to know when it's time to take a breather.
I pray for all the ladies that are going through rough times right now, but also the ones who are having good times and savoring the moments.
Thank you, Jan for keeping everyone up to date, you are one in a million. But then again I think we all are in our own way. Margo
Over the months I have seen many posts by msjazz. She was a regular poster and I guess sometimes when you see the same folks posting on a regular basis everything is cool and life goes on. This is no longer the case for Donna. Oh, Lord I pray she is not suffering pain or feels alone. I don't technically "know" her, but my heart goes out to her, her husband, and family. You and your husband must truly be living angels to make the time to help in any way you can. I have read your recent posts, Jan, and I hope you also take care of yourself. In my opinion you are one of the strongest presence on the ovca forum.
Please Lord, wrap your arms around Donna and give her peace and comfort as her life here on earth evolves into an angel for ever more.
I pray for Jan to have strength, but to know when it's time to take a breather.
I pray for all the ladies that are going through rough times right now, but also the ones who are having good times and savoring the moments.
Thank you, Jan for keeping everyone up to date, you are one in a million. But then again I think we all are in our own way. Margo
Thanks again Jan for the info. I just wanted to post and say that although I only had a few exchanges with Donna I have followed her posts and journey and have come to care about her. I will pray that her journey will be painless, that she will find peace and joy in the light and that her husband will be able to be o.k.
Every now and then someone comes along that you meet and you might spend a few hours with them or even a few minutes here and there for a few months. Perhaps , for one reason or other, they drift away from your life and you think" Gosh, I wish I had known her better...I like her... I would have liked to be better friends." Please tell Donna that is how I feel about her. I truly do wish I had known her longer and better.. She is such a brave soul and I loved her humor and spirit..
Jan , words can't say how wonderful a friend I think you are. I know she and "J" are immensely grateful to you and Cory.
Much love to you all,
Sandy
Jan , words can't say how wonderful a friend I think you are. I know she and "J" are immensely grateful to you and Cory.
Much love to you all,
Sandy
I would like for you to tell Donna that I am thankful for the friendship and fun we shared. It developed when we would discuss the forum problems a few months back. She always made me laugh and was so kind to me. I love her and I love you Jan for doing this. I am not going to write her, but will continue to pray for her. Marie
What a BRAVE and BEAUTIFUL soul! The last thing Donna needs to concern herself with is this forum. You are an AMAZING friend and she is blessed to have you. I hope she is painfree and finds peace. My heart is breaking for her and her family and friends.
Heidi
Heidi
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