Do I have PTSD? If not then what?

[alexia_grehan]

Hi,
My name is Alexia.  I have lived in South Africa all my life thus far and have recently moved to the UK a month and a half ago.  
My question is: Do I have PTSD? And if not then what is it that Im going through.
Im not really sure if I have been a perfectly stable person all my life... Maybe I have.  I have had quite a high stress home life all my life.  I had a very rough time through primary school.  At one point I would have asthma attacks in class for no apparent reason.  At this point my family was living in a caravan in a friends garden.  I think that I have had quite a bit of disappointment in life and Im sure thats normal but maybe I have dealt with it in a worse way.  Im not sure.  Like I said I have always had a stressed home life which I guess I have just gotten used to.  I have always been quite a calm person, non anxious and generally not afraid while going about my day to day life.

Last year in July I was involved in a robbery.  I was house sitting a friends house in a secure complex.  On the first night when I arrived home alone I found 4 or 5 young black men in the house.  I heard noises while opening the security gate and as I was about to enter the house one of the persons came through to the lounge and I saw them through the window of the front door.  I ran and hid away behind a car in the shadow of the house across the road.  From there I could see the 4 or 5 men leave the house.  My car was parked outside so they knew I was still there.  They then proceeded to run all around the complex, jumping the short walls between houses looking for me.  I waited in the darkness waiting for them to find me.  After looking through the area twice they then ran away after setting off another persons alarm in their garden.  A short while after that the security company arrived to inspect the property of the people whose alarm had gone off.  I ran out and waited with the security guards for my friends who I had called to fetch me.  

All in all it was a pretty traumatic experience.  Im only about 5.3m tall.  I would have never stood a chance against 4 or 5 men.  Since this night I have been very anxious, jumpy, scared of men, scared to come home at night.  In the first 4 or 5 months I never slept a night through regardless of sleeping pills.  I constantly heard noises and often woke up with a fright.  It gradually got a bit better but not by too much.  My sleeping pattern improved a bit.  In December of the same year I went to visit family in New Zealand.  I felt relieved to be in a safe place and thought I was fine.  After a few days of being there all my insides went into spasm it seemed.  My throat felt closed and I was very nauseous.  I battled to eat anything and my stomach also didnt work much.  It took me about a week to figure out that it was anxiety related and not food poisoning.  I had nothing to fear there.  There is minimal crime in New Zealand yet my body just didnt know how to relax.  

Today living in London Im not finding myself to be very anxious and do quite well going to town by myself, walking from the bus stop at night and being alone at home in my flat.  However I do find that from time to time my throat closes up again.  Also I find that I do not deal with stress very well.  Two weeks ago I had a very stressful situation on my hands and found myself really just having a melt down and wanting to just walk in front of a bus or something.  I didnt feel in control at all.  

After the robbery first happened I was told by a counselor that feeling as if I was going mad was normal.  But now I dont know if it is normal.  So my question to you would be is PTSD only showing now?  What are the symptoms?  If this is not the case then what is wrong with me?

I would greatly appreciate a professional or others opinion on this.  
Thank you for reading my story.

Kind regards
Alexia

[alexia_grehan]

Im tired...
How far do I have to move to escape the things of my life...  
I cant deal with anothe drama, anothe let down, another stressfull situation.
I have moved hemispheres for God sake!!!!!!
I have supported my family for 5 years were ever I can...
I moved to London..
To make a life tht is MINE...
To be my OWN person..
To prove my parents wrong...
I sold my car that I worked for to buy with no help from my family..With no help from anyone..
I worked the **** job..
and here I am..
Nothing has changed..
Im still the crutch for my father who can do NOTHING for himself..
Who just takes..
and just leave a thanks of eternal guilt...
Soon everything will fall apart..
and then?

[margypops]

I think it highly likely you have PTSD panic and anxiety and many physical symptoms appear after such a trauma, I personally feel getting some counseling/therapy may help you, also accepting what happened to you , not letting your thoughts get you into a bad frame of mind , when you find yourself going there let it happen for a few moments then tell yourself Stop, and distract/ground your self it is always our thoughts... we cannot have a negative feeling without first having a corresponding negaitive thought. I know that sounds simple but it has worked for me and is worth a shot. Good luck let us know how you are doing .