Aa
marine with possible ptsd???
my husband is a marine. he was in iraq for 9 months and saw some terrible things. i don't know what because he refuses to talk about them. he still wakes up at night in a cold sweat screaming and crying. after that the only thing i can do to even come close to comforting him is just hold him and tell him it's ok. since he's been home (he got out in october) he's been getting angrier and angrier. every little thing sets him off. and it's not just him being mad and storming off or yelling. he screams, yells and throws things. he punches holes in walls and breaks doors. thing is he wasn't like this before he went to iraq. prior to his deployment he was a sweet, loving and caring man. never raised his voice to me. he never even got mad at me. i have a bit of a memory problem. when i was 18 i was in a horse riding accident and have permanent memory issues. now if i forget something instead of him being understanding like he used to be he screams at me. telling me how stupid i am and what not. i don't know exactly what the symptoms of ptsd are.....but could his anger issues be from that? and if it is ptsd...or even if not does anyone have any suggestions to help me convince him to go to counseling? or get help for it.
I wasnt going to enter this thread until I saw your last paragraph - - - and then I wondered how many of the wives ever saw their "soldiers" counting cadence when in training - - when every time your right foot hits the ground you yell "KILL" at the top of your lungs... and your are told that the spirit of the bayonet is to kill....... How many of you have ever been in situations where your very life was threatened? 24 hours a day 7 days a week? I am a Vietnam Era vet - - - its been 40 years for me - - and I am just figuring it out now - with the help of the VA and some therapists.................Its not all that easy for the Vet that knows that he isnt treating his family properly - - but doesnt yet know why...........and feels totally hopeless about the situation.
Hi, Sweetheart!
My daughter is in Japan with her Air Force husband. Since his return from Iraq he has had anger issues +++. Last month he vented on his FaceBook site as did my daughter on hers. I was afraid their marriage was over! I live in the states and worry about the family which includes a newborn daughter and a toddler son.
He works with toxic substances with his planes. Recently he has been having strange spasms or twitches in one arm and leg. As a nurse, I'm worried it might be neurological. I found an article called Psychogenic Non-Epileptic Seizures on line
I keep researching his PTSD symptoms but am not finding what I need. I really, deep down, feel these soldiers are having physiologic neurological symptoms. And I think that doping them up with antidepressants is not the answer!
These people need a thorough neurological work-up. I look forward to any input you have to offer!
I firmly believe that our young American soldiers' brains are being physiologically altered by the combat they are forced to endure in these outrageous wars. Wars through the ages have damaged our bravest and brightest citizens.
My daughter is in Japan with her Air Force husband. Since his return from Iraq he has had anger issues +++. Last month he vented on his FaceBook site as did my daughter on hers. I was afraid their marriage was over! I live in the states and worry about the family which includes a newborn daughter and a toddler son.
He works with toxic substances with his planes. Recently he has been having strange spasms or twitches in one arm and leg. As a nurse, I'm worried it might be neurological. I found an article called Psychogenic Non-Epileptic Seizures on line
I keep researching his PTSD symptoms but am not finding what I need. I really, deep down, feel these soldiers are having physiologic neurological symptoms. And I think that doping them up with antidepressants is not the answer!
These people need a thorough neurological work-up. I look forward to any input you have to offer!
I firmly believe that our young American soldiers' brains are being physiologically altered by the combat they are forced to endure in these outrageous wars. Wars through the ages have damaged our bravest and brightest citizens.
Heather, don't push too hard, you might really set him off. If he has finally admitted that he has a problem, then he will do something about it when he is ready, if ever. You can't make a person get help, they have to want it.
What you need to think about is your kids, they are suffering, confused, afraid, and don't know where to turn.
You need to get them out of there, I truly don't know what you are waiting for, because it is just goint to keep escalating until something really horrid happens to either you or the kids.
I know this sounds harsh, and it's hard because you remember what he was like when you were first together, and you know it's not really his fault. But, dear, he isn't getting any better, is he? And he's not going to, unless he gets extensive help.
You may even find him hanging in your garage someday, that actually happens a lot with vets. It's a sad situation, indeed. I know, I went through it, and it never got better, only worse. But, because I had a daughter, I left. There was no reasoning with him at all.
good luck to you
What you need to think about is your kids, they are suffering, confused, afraid, and don't know where to turn.
You need to get them out of there, I truly don't know what you are waiting for, because it is just goint to keep escalating until something really horrid happens to either you or the kids.
I know this sounds harsh, and it's hard because you remember what he was like when you were first together, and you know it's not really his fault. But, dear, he isn't getting any better, is he? And he's not going to, unless he gets extensive help.
You may even find him hanging in your garage someday, that actually happens a lot with vets. It's a sad situation, indeed. I know, I went through it, and it never got better, only worse. But, because I had a daughter, I left. There was no reasoning with him at all.
good luck to you
phycute...he's my husband not my boyfriend.
he didn't go to the appointment. his anger is getting worse and worse. there are times i just won't talk to him. he finally admitted he might have a problem. i asked him if he was going to do anything about it but he just screamed at me telling me to "mind my own f*cking business". i always thought the welfare of my husband WAS my business. apparently not. i've been talking to my mother about this and if he does get worse (i do want to try and get him the help he needs) than i have an "escape plan". i already have a place to stay and money saved up to help me and the boys. if he doesn't get help....i don't know how much more of the screaming, punching holes in walls/doors, breaking things and making me and the boys cry i can take. i really don't. so i'm gonna start pushing him to go to the va and get this taken care of and give him an agenda. he gets help or he looses his family. i hate to do this to him but i need to start worrying about our kids. i don't want them growing up around this. i really don't. they don't deserve it. they deserve a happy home.
he didn't go to the appointment. his anger is getting worse and worse. there are times i just won't talk to him. he finally admitted he might have a problem. i asked him if he was going to do anything about it but he just screamed at me telling me to "mind my own f*cking business". i always thought the welfare of my husband WAS my business. apparently not. i've been talking to my mother about this and if he does get worse (i do want to try and get him the help he needs) than i have an "escape plan". i already have a place to stay and money saved up to help me and the boys. if he doesn't get help....i don't know how much more of the screaming, punching holes in walls/doors, breaking things and making me and the boys cry i can take. i really don't. so i'm gonna start pushing him to go to the va and get this taken care of and give him an agenda. he gets help or he looses his family. i hate to do this to him but i need to start worrying about our kids. i don't want them growing up around this. i really don't. they don't deserve it. they deserve a happy home.
I completely understand where you are coming from and can only pray for you.
I am going through a very similar situation with my husband. He was recently diagnosed with PTSD but I have had such a hard time getting him to file his VA paperwork. He was administravily seperated earlier this year and has gone without any psychological treatment for a couple of month now. I see him every day getting worse, but he does not think he has PTSD.
I imagine your boyfriend is dealing with the same thoughts my husband is. They think that they could not possibly have it because their buddies dont have it. They think that this is just their own lapse in judgement, nothing else. Everyday I have to remind my hubby that this is not the man he used to be and he needs to get the VA paperwork done so he can get the help he needs.
Today we had a long discussion, and he says he is going to submit his paperwork tomorrow, lets see how that turns out.
Did you BF ever go to his appointment?
I am going through a very similar situation with my husband. He was recently diagnosed with PTSD but I have had such a hard time getting him to file his VA paperwork. He was administravily seperated earlier this year and has gone without any psychological treatment for a couple of month now. I see him every day getting worse, but he does not think he has PTSD.
I imagine your boyfriend is dealing with the same thoughts my husband is. They think that they could not possibly have it because their buddies dont have it. They think that this is just their own lapse in judgement, nothing else. Everyday I have to remind my hubby that this is not the man he used to be and he needs to get the VA paperwork done so he can get the help he needs.
Today we had a long discussion, and he says he is going to submit his paperwork tomorrow, lets see how that turns out.
Did you BF ever go to his appointment?
I've been reading all the posts on here, and was just about to say to myself, "she better tell him to get help or get out" because his anger is going to escalate, when I saw your post stating he finally hit you. That's what I was afraid of.
I was married to a man that was gentle as a lamb until he came back from Nam. He was jealous, mean, manipulative, would check the mileage on my car, hit me, not talk to me for days, etc. It was horrible. But I tried to stay because I believed I should help him, because it wasn't his fault. It just got worse.
It is sad, because it ISN'T his fault, but it IS his fault for not getting help. No one can help him but himself. He has to WANT to get help, and, even though he's a "big man", he has to see what it is doing to the people he loves. It's called "swallow your pride, buster".
The main thing you need to be thinking of is your kids, they are the truly innocents in all of this, and if they are scared to death to live with him, then you need to tell him you and the kids are leaving (or tell him to get out) unless he gets help, and you're not coming back until you see a real change in him. And DON'T COME BACK RIGHT AWAY, it takes a long time to get through all he's been through.
Finally, I was 6 1/2 months pregnant, when he got so mad at me while he was driving (I glanced toward a man walking down the street) that he opened the passenger door and shoved me out, we were doing 35 miles an hour, and I immediately went in to labor. My daughter weighed 1 1/2 pounds, and was in neo-natal intensive care for 3 months. AND HE STILL DIDN'T GET IT!!
That's when I told him that as soon as she got out of the hospital (she had a 5% chance of living, a miracle, really), I was OUTTA THERE.
You need to take action, if not for yourself, for your kids, and he needs to grow up, a real man will admit when he is out of control.
Your kids are suffering too. Good luck.
I was married to a man that was gentle as a lamb until he came back from Nam. He was jealous, mean, manipulative, would check the mileage on my car, hit me, not talk to me for days, etc. It was horrible. But I tried to stay because I believed I should help him, because it wasn't his fault. It just got worse.
It is sad, because it ISN'T his fault, but it IS his fault for not getting help. No one can help him but himself. He has to WANT to get help, and, even though he's a "big man", he has to see what it is doing to the people he loves. It's called "swallow your pride, buster".
The main thing you need to be thinking of is your kids, they are the truly innocents in all of this, and if they are scared to death to live with him, then you need to tell him you and the kids are leaving (or tell him to get out) unless he gets help, and you're not coming back until you see a real change in him. And DON'T COME BACK RIGHT AWAY, it takes a long time to get through all he's been through.
Finally, I was 6 1/2 months pregnant, when he got so mad at me while he was driving (I glanced toward a man walking down the street) that he opened the passenger door and shoved me out, we were doing 35 miles an hour, and I immediately went in to labor. My daughter weighed 1 1/2 pounds, and was in neo-natal intensive care for 3 months. AND HE STILL DIDN'T GET IT!!
That's when I told him that as soon as she got out of the hospital (she had a 5% chance of living, a miracle, really), I was OUTTA THERE.
You need to take action, if not for yourself, for your kids, and he needs to grow up, a real man will admit when he is out of control.
Your kids are suffering too. Good luck.
well he didn't go to his appointment. he woke up sunday morning soooo incredibly sick. so i had to reschedule it for him. poor guy is still sick and i feel kinda guilty because i was sick last week and he was taking care of me. lol. so 2 more weeks till he can get in. hopefully he won't be sick again.
How is he doing did he see the Doctor , have been wondering how you are all getting on, let us know .
I am certain he will get through, I think you have had that defining moment and you stood up and were counted, he knew you meant it , keep strong all will be well and you will have your guy back again ....
he is a good guy. he's a great guy. when he's not...mad. he's an amazing husband and an awesome father. it's so cute and funny watching him turn into a big softy with the twins. i'm so used to seeing him in his uniform and being serious that it's just so odd seeing him....normal. lol. i just hope the therapy will help.
Good for you you will be so glad you were tough and he gets the help he needs he sounds like a good guy, just traumatised form what he has been through,for all of us Americans sat on our butts worrying about the economy.....
he's having partial good days. they start off bad. so bad i won't even look at him. good in the middle sometimes. then bad at night.
i'm making him go. his appointment is in 2 weeks. he's going and i don't care how much he whines and ******* about it.
i'm making him go. his appointment is in 2 weeks. he's going and i don't care how much he whines and ******* about it.
Stay positive keep thinking it will be okay however still get him that appt dont get lulled if he has a few good days, he does need help,,
i know. and i do love him. even if he is a total butt head most of the time....i love him. i'm just hoping it will all work out in the end.
Good stay strong , as you love him ,he is worth helping him do this, stay determined , get him to the Docor and further treatments., it will all be worth it when the battle is won..
i know he's not going to make the appointment. so i'm doing it for him today. i love him and i don't want his anger driving us to a divorce. i know he needs me and i need him. i know he does love me and the boys but i can't risk the chance he'll end up hitting/hurting them. this is when i have to put my childrens saftey above all else. i just hope he goes.
Thats good news Heather makes you feel better ,so give him the benefit of the doubt ,get him to make that appt ASAP or it could get put aside, sounds like you handled it well, good you are at the helm he needs direction as he feels so bad, once he gets help everything will improve, he will feel a relief in being to unburden himself .
ya but remember he needs ur help.dont abandon him.but at da same tym let him know dat he aint suffering alone.i hope he'll b fine
well i sat him down and told him that he either got help or he got out. he was mad at first but....i stood my ground. i told him that i was NOT going to have my children raised in a hostile environment and if he didn't like that i was loving, mushy and a motherly mother then....he can get out. i'm not changing how i act towards my children and i'm not going to put up with him yelling and hitting me anymore. he just looked at me. was mad. but said ok. so we'll see if he does it or not. if he doesn't i'll call, make an appointment and make him go. he won't have any excuse not to go then.
I agree totally with margypops. She is telling it like it is. Once someone hits and gets away with it, it will happen again. He is obviously out of control and you cannot allow yourself or your children to be in his path of anger. Tell him to get help or get out! and mean it! Would you have held him if he had hit your baby instead of you? No! So do not tell him it is ok even for a second for hitting you! You do not deserve that. Now is the time to force him to see someone and get help, if he does not, you will have to face the fact that you cannot change him.
let him know dat psychological disorders are same as other health prblms are.say hepatitis.psychologicaly ill person is not mad.dis is a wrong concept
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