Update on my issues

[MontanaGurl]

Well, I made an appt to see my mental health therapist and I also made an appt to see my Rheumatologist.  I usually see my therapist like 2 times a month but, I am having to many issues popping up, so I will see him on Monday.  I usually only see my Rheumy every 3 - 6 months and saw him 2 months ago and wasn't scheduled to see him for another 4 months but, like I said, too many issues and need to see him sooner.  I also called my regular doc and made an appt to see her on Monday also, just after my therapy appt.  So, I am hoping that all of the professionals can put their heads together and help me out.  I am having too many problems popping up.  I have been having anxiety attacks / panic attacks coming out of the clear blue sky.  I am having back to back R.A. flare ups and cannot take my regular R.A. meds cause they slow the healing process and I still have alot of healing to do.  I also am having a feeling of being closed in because I feel trapped in my wheelchair and TLSO brace.  I am also frustrated because I feel my progress is going too slow I am sick and tired of feeling sick and tired - ya know what I am saying?

So, I really hope I can get some help and come out of my funk.  I thought I was doing good but, than things started hitting me all at once and it is more than I can handle at this point.  What do you think?  am I being a cry baby?  should I just get over myself?  I am in a confused and hurting state this morning.  

til next time.................montanagurl

[nurseaudrea]

Thanks Tuck, I could not remember all the stages. I know I was in the angry stage for years. I am a Christian as well and I was very angry with God for not healing me. I even felt like I lost some of my faith. I still struggle with it, trying to get the faith back. I also hit the Depression stage pretty hard. It lasted for a couple of years also. I think I am now testing to see what else they can do because I still can't accept that I will always be in this much pain.

Again, just hang in there and you will get through this. Some days will be better and some not so great. But, you are improving so just keep that in mind.

Audrea

[Tuckamore]

MontanaGurl,

You are not being a cry baby or weak or any of those things. You are reacting to the changes and pain that your accident has forced upon you.

Audrea talked about the stages of grief. There were originally identified as the stages of dying but since that time it has been recognized that this applies to many situations where loss is involved. I faced it following my traumatic MVA when I lost my "old self" and searched for my new self. No longer could I play all the sports, coach Little League and continue my active nursing career. I grieved for the life and the me before the mega-injuries.

Dr. Elizabeth Kübler-Ross from Switzerland identified the seven stages of the grief cycle. They are as follows:

Shock stage: Initial paralysis at hearing the bad news.
Denial stage: Trying to avoid the inevitable.
Anger stage: Frustrated outpouring of bottled-up emotion.
Bargaining stage: Seeking in vain for a way out.
Depression stage: Final realization of the inevitable.
Testing stage: Seeking realistic solutions.
Acceptance stage: Finally finding the way forward.

These stages do not always experiences these stages in order. We can vacillate or jump between several stages or get "stuck" in one or skip one or more. Sometimes we never complete the process. I was stuck in the anger stage for years.

So don't be so hard on yourself. I think you are taking positive steps to make your life more bearable. We remain here for you. You'll make it even though the tunnel seems endless and dark right now. I found a book called, "When bad things happen to good ppl" by Harold S. Kushner very helpful. This very smart Rabbi shares his experience and how he coped when he lost his young son. Although I am a Christian, I felt his words applied to me as did the other ppl that read it told me they felt. In fact the book was given to me by a Methodist Minister.

Hang in there and keep chatting with us. Take Care, Tuck

[MontanaGurl]

i know, i know, i know.  but, actually i do see someone almost every day of the week.  I have physical therapy and occupational therapy 3 times a week and than i just saw my spinal and pelvic surgeon's a few weeks ago and than I saw my orthopedic surgeon for my collarbone about 2 weeks ago, so there is someone that I see on a semi-regular basis but, I just now got tired of the icky feelings and called my dr's so i can see all of them on the same day and talk to them specifically for my current issues.

thanks nick30, sometimes i need someone to tell me what to do, or else i get lazy and think - oh it will go away, but someone needs to ruff me up and push me in the right direction,so for that i thank you

Lillian

[nick30]

and no, you're not being a baby, sometimes things just suck.

[nick30]

glad you're finally doing something about it. how long have i been tryin to get you to your dr's?

[nurseaudrea]

I really feel for you. Often times when you get hurt so bad that it totally disrupts your life there is a process you have to go through. You really don't have a choice. It's kinda of like when someone dies. You have lost your function and it feels like a HUGE loss. You go through the same steps you do as if you loose someone. You go through grief, bargaining, depression, a few othere steps, and finally acceptance. I'm not sure what they all are. I know I went through them. I used to be a runner and rock climber. I can no longer do those things. They were a part of my everyday life until the pain got so bad it took it away more everyday until I could no longer do anything physical anymore. It was so depressing. I was in college at the time in my 20's and had a really hard time with it. I even had to see a Psychiatrist because I was so depressed. I finally came to accept it many years later and the depression has lifted. It did take a long time though. I did not have anyone to talk to about it because my family did not understand. I looked fine on the outside and I was so young so how could I be that bad? They did not understand even though I told my mom I did not want to live anymore if it meant living like this. She doesn't even remember me telling her that.
I finally went to a therapist and had someone to talk to and it did make me feel better. For the time being anyway. Hopefully, as you heal you will get more function back and it will lift your spirits. Just know that it does take time. In this world today we want things now and have a hard time giving things time. Just remember that God does not give you anything more than you can handle. At least that is what I am told all the time.
I pray that your doctors listen to you and hopefully come up with something that can help you better.
Best wishes and good luck.        Audrea