Can anyone share a few jokes? laughter is the best med

[zackskyler]

I need a good laugh ...don't we all let's share some laughter and smiles ...Tell me or simply post a joke to us all...hopefuly it wont be a joke that starts like this "  these 2 guys go into a bar " or this moneky walks into a nightclub....lol       those have been told so many times that I cant wait to go to the bar and get hammered with a monkey...o dare to dream.....laughter is the best medicine ...but percocet works pretty good to lol  looking forward to reading all the jokes your friend and comiserator guess thats how it's spelled...sorta ..well,   vio-con-dios~zack

[zackskyler]

a man in his late 90's died on his birthday, When he reached the pearly gates ,
he found he was in a very long line , yes beauracrcy exists evrywhere - you know what they say people who commit suicide are condemed to be civil servants in purgatory..., Anyways  back to our story,..... the man is watching everyone in the line talking and laughing when his eyes gaze upon a odd site.  This rather tall fellow dressed in a dr's jacket with a stephascope around his neck checking bloodpresures and taking tempatures ... The old man was puzzled and says to the guy  6 spaces away from him and says
gosh I thought we wouldn't ever get sick in heaven , the guys starts laughing and explains that the guy in the lab jacket was jesus pretending to be a doctor................

[jollyman069]

this is a true story...about 3 months ago, it was late at night i was going to a convience store for a drink and sandwhcih..well i was doing 31mph and the speed limit is 25mph...well i got pulled over.. the officer walks uo tp my window and ask for licence and regisration..we;;ll he came back an said sir you must get out of the car so i did and he handcuffeed me...he goes on to explain that my drivers licesence was suspened for and unpaid ticket...well they towed my car, was nice enough to drive me honme. the next morning i get my dad to take to the court house and with the ticket number i had they told me i hd an unpaid ticket from1984 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I in maryland u renew ur licenece every 5 yrs so i paid the $30.00 ticket.. went and got my car that they towed  1 and a half miles cost me $100.00 and the Dmv still cant tell me how i kept renewing my licenece for a ticket 25 years old......lmfao...little long but hoped it helped

[Tuckamore]

Good one Tanglewood. I can't tell any of the jokes I use to on this site....so I will have to think on this awhile...LOL

[tanglewood]

Well, I went to see my pain psychologist yesterday. I asked him how he decided whether or not to commit a patient to the psych ward. He said I give them a tea spoon; a shovel; and a bucket. Then we go into a back room where there is a tub of water. I ask them how they would empty the water out of the tub. I laughed and said, "Obviously a normal person will use the bucket!" He said, "No, a normal person would pull the plug out of the drain. Would you like a room with a window?"