Avatar universal

failed surgery

Hello.  This is my first time here.  I had a 2 level spinal fusion L4-S1, 12 years ago.  The pain has never left me and then the fused bone cracked.  I have constant pain around the SI joints and nerve damage at the donor site.  I am on Ativan and anti depressants now.  My husband is about to undergo chemo for his Lymphoma and this sent me into a severe depression and escaltion in pain.

I try very hard to be positive and the pills are helping but I am so afraid that I will not be physically ablee to look after him, my animals and the house.

I am just venting here, so if the future when I post, you will understand my circumstances.

I look forward to hearing from others in similar circumstances.

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547368 tn?1440541785
Hello Tenaciousone,

Welcome to the Pain Management Forum at MedHelp. I am glad you joined us and hope you will become an active member.

I am so sorry to hear about your pain and limitations. And I am very sorry to hear about your husbands medical issues. We are here for you. Our members are understanding and supportive and full of good suggestions.

I have constant chronic SI Joint pain due to SI Joint Dysfunction. It is a severe, disabling pain.  There are days I can barely get out of bed and nights I can't sleep due to the pain. But I find than when I have to take care of a loved one, my love for them and determination kicks in and I do it.  My Mom recently had open heart quad by-pass surgery and continues to have complications. She has been in my home and I have been caring for her since surgery. I have days all I can do is see that she gets her medications (and I get mine) on time and something to eat. My house suffers. I have learned to set priorities and take care of the things that must be done. I don't sweat the small stuff. Indeed until Thanksgiving my house hadn't been dusted for three weeks.  

What I am trying to tell you is you will find the strength to care for your husband and your pets. I beleive in pray and it is with His help I find the strength to care for my mother. When you need to vent, chat or anything we are here for you.

Additionally there may be outside help you are eligible for through your insurance, such as a visiting nurse. Where ever he receives, chemo you can discuss it with either a discharge planning nurse, social worker. If they have neither than ask if they have someone on staff that could direct you. If they have no answers than contact your insurance company or a local in home nursing provider.

Please let us know how you are doing. I will look forward to your next update. You may also PM me if you wish. Take care, Tuck
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Avatar universal
thank you for the welcome.  My goodness, you are in worse shape than me.  It is so frustrating isn't it.  I too set my priorities and if I can't manage something today, I will be able to tomorrow.  This is the only way to get through, one day at a time.

God Bless you for taking care of your Mom.  You are right, it is because you are needed that you manage as well as you do.

I am slowly finding my ay around the forum, a lot to take in and will contribute as much as I can.


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547368 tn?1440541785
Thank you for your kind words. And yes you have the right idea and approach, one day at a time. I do the same. If I can't do it today than maybe I can do it tomorrow.

I am also blessed with great sons and daughter-in-laws. They will drop by often and vacuum my rugs. My oldest son actually likes to mop my floors because I recently bought one of those swifter (sp) jet mops and he thinks they are "neat." LOL I would have bought one years ago had I know he would mop my floors...LOL. So we cope and we do as you are doing, one day at a time.

Good luck and take care. You'll make it. Blessings, Tuck
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648944 tn?1241469694
Hi, Tenaciousone.  The screen name you have chosen encourages me--I love it, as it means that you haven't given up, which is critical.  I can identify with your pain--four years ago (11-2004), I had the same surgery, though at three levels, and as with you, it didn't take away the pain.  I am truly sorry about what your husband and you are facing cancer-wise as well, and can only encourage you, as others have, to take one day at a time.  

I do have one thought which may seem counter-intuituve, but I hope that you are finding the time and will to get some exercise.  Any is better than none.  For me, it has been critical--without it, I think I'd be in a wheelchair.  When the pain is especially bad, it takes a lot of discipline to make myself do it.  However, I've never, never regretted it afterwards.  In addition to everything else, it has a positive impact on my mood, and when I miss a session, I really feel the difference.  Give it some thought if you haven't already...  All the best...fpainesstam
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Avatar universal
Hi Tuckamore & fpainnestam: thanks for the words of encouragement.

Since we do not have any children Tuck, I hired a cleaning lady.  Very cheap in the country compared to the city.

fpain: yes, I am tenacious.  Also, I have been told, assertive, tactless and impatient, and this is very true.

If we had only known then what we know now, I certainly would not have had the b.... surgery.

Yes, I am exercising.  Not only do I walk the dog twice daily, I do the light housework and attend a Hot Therapy Pool where I do my stretching etc.  Then come home and have a nap as the muscles are very tired.  I need 3 days between sessions to let the muscles heal but I have found that this is the best way for me to exercise.  The water reduces the strain on the muscles.

I am sure, like me, you love those hot soaks and showers.  A great way to relieve tension I find.

After reading more of the posts here, I think I should not complain as there are so many in worse situations than me.  I guess that is always the case though and it is very humbling, to me anyway.

"Be Kinder to Others, As They Are fighting Battles Too"

Helpful - 0
547368 tn?1440541785
You are all entitled to complain and vent. It helps us cope. Many of us don't express our pain to those we live with and love as we don't want burden them with it. Many feel that we struggle with the pain ourselves, no sense in unloading it on our families every day. So feel free. None of us get tried of hearing some one else vent. We're all in this together.

And I too had an outside cleaning lady until this gosh awful pain stopped my career and I felt guilty for spending the money on outside help to clean the house. Maybe if I am ever approved for SSD I will rehire some help again.

Peace, Tuck
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