Aa
i am such a mess right now
i am such a mess right now, i am having constant pain in my knees, elbows, hips, ankles, wrist, fingers, shoulders, and neck.... i go to a pm doctor for my back and neck and he has prescribed me vicode 10/5 and a muscle relaxer i tried talking to him telling him about my knees, elbows, etc he took two blood test and told me if they come back fine then i am fine.... which really upset me because i don't want to be going to a doctor who isn't going to help me... i almost feel as i he doesn't believe me... my husband doesnt understand at all.. he says its all in my head and that i take too many pills... which i do take more than i am supposed to some days but ihurt....my arms hurt after doing laundry, doing dishes, my legs hurt and burn and ache from going up and down our steps... my neck just constantly aches, and burns and i get headaches all the time... i don't sleep....i wakeup at all times during the night my hands feeliing like someone is shoving needle through them, my elbows throbbing, my hips aching... i don't understand what is happeing to me and i am sooo scared and i feel so alone... if it wasn't for my 3 yr old son i would probably give up... my family is like my husband they don't believe me... its like because i don't have a broken leg or something and they can't see it they can't understand... but they see the pain in my face in my eyes.... but i don't think they want something to be wrong which neither do i so they just believe that i like taking the pills... which i have never ever in my life even taken anything stronger than tylenol before this point in my life i only drink on special occasions i don't understand why this is happening to me....i don't know what to do anymore or how to cope.... i feel lost somehow....like i'm falling apart and losing everything that is important to me.... the cold weather seems to make my body hurt 10 times worse... has anyone ever heard of anything like this?? does anyone have a clue what it is that i could do or who i need to talk to? any input would be wonderful.... thank you
Here is what I promised to post that goes hand in hand with the "Letter." Both have been posted before but they bear repeating. I emailed both of them to my friends and family members some time ago. I had some very good responses. Many said it helped them understand my pain better. Of course some never responded, as I expected. I think most of us could have written either one or both of these.
TIPS FOR DEALING WITH PEOPLE IN PAIN
1. People with chronic pain seem unreliable (we can't count on ourselves). When feeling better we promise things (and mean it); when in serious pain, we may not even show up.
2. An action or situation may result in pain several hours later, or even the next day. Delayed pain is confusing to people who have never experienced it.
3. Pain can inhibit listening and other communication skills. It's like having someone shouting at you, or trying to talk with a fire alarm going off in the room. The effect of pain on the mind can seem like attention deficit disorder. So you may have to repeat a request, or write things down for a person with chronic pain. Don't take it personally, or think that they are stupid.
4. The senses can overload while in pain. For example, noises that wouldn't normally bother you, seem too much.
5. Patience may seem short. We can't wait in a long line; can't wait for a long drawn out conversation.
6. Don't always ask "how are you" unless you are genuinely prepared to listen it just points attention inward.
7. Pain can sometimes trigger psychological disabilities (usually very temporary). When in pain, a small task, like hanging out the laundry, can seem like a huge wall, too high to climb over. An hour later the same job may be quite OK. It is sane to be depressed occasionally when you hurt.
8. Pain can come on fairly quickly and unexpectedly. Pain sometimes abates after a short rest. Chronic pain people appear to arrive and fade unpredictably to others.
9. Knowing where a refuge is, such as a couch, a bed, or comfortable chair, is as important as knowing where a bathroom is. A visit is much more enjoyable if the chronic pain person knows there is a refuge if needed. A person with chronic pain may not want to go anywhere that has no refuge (e.g.no place to sit or lie down).
10. Small acts of kindness can seem like huge acts of mercy to a person in pain. Your offer of a pillow or a cup of tea can be a really big thing to a person who is feeling temporarily helpless in the face of encroaching pain.
11. Not all pain is easy to locate or describe. Sometimes there is a body-wide feeling of discomfort, with hard to describe pains in the entire back, or in both legs, but not in one particular spot you can point to. Our vocabulary for pain is very limited, compared to the body's ability to feel varieties of discomfort.
12. We may not have a good "reason" for the pain. Medical science is still limited in its understanding of pain. Many people have pain that is not yet classified by doctors as an officially recognized "disease". That does not reduce the pain, - it only reduces our ability to give it a label, and to have you believe us.
Author unknown
Tuck
TIPS FOR DEALING WITH PEOPLE IN PAIN
1. People with chronic pain seem unreliable (we can't count on ourselves). When feeling better we promise things (and mean it); when in serious pain, we may not even show up.
2. An action or situation may result in pain several hours later, or even the next day. Delayed pain is confusing to people who have never experienced it.
3. Pain can inhibit listening and other communication skills. It's like having someone shouting at you, or trying to talk with a fire alarm going off in the room. The effect of pain on the mind can seem like attention deficit disorder. So you may have to repeat a request, or write things down for a person with chronic pain. Don't take it personally, or think that they are stupid.
4. The senses can overload while in pain. For example, noises that wouldn't normally bother you, seem too much.
5. Patience may seem short. We can't wait in a long line; can't wait for a long drawn out conversation.
6. Don't always ask "how are you" unless you are genuinely prepared to listen it just points attention inward.
7. Pain can sometimes trigger psychological disabilities (usually very temporary). When in pain, a small task, like hanging out the laundry, can seem like a huge wall, too high to climb over. An hour later the same job may be quite OK. It is sane to be depressed occasionally when you hurt.
8. Pain can come on fairly quickly and unexpectedly. Pain sometimes abates after a short rest. Chronic pain people appear to arrive and fade unpredictably to others.
9. Knowing where a refuge is, such as a couch, a bed, or comfortable chair, is as important as knowing where a bathroom is. A visit is much more enjoyable if the chronic pain person knows there is a refuge if needed. A person with chronic pain may not want to go anywhere that has no refuge (e.g.no place to sit or lie down).
10. Small acts of kindness can seem like huge acts of mercy to a person in pain. Your offer of a pillow or a cup of tea can be a really big thing to a person who is feeling temporarily helpless in the face of encroaching pain.
11. Not all pain is easy to locate or describe. Sometimes there is a body-wide feeling of discomfort, with hard to describe pains in the entire back, or in both legs, but not in one particular spot you can point to. Our vocabulary for pain is very limited, compared to the body's ability to feel varieties of discomfort.
12. We may not have a good "reason" for the pain. Medical science is still limited in its understanding of pain. Many people have pain that is not yet classified by doctors as an officially recognized "disease". That does not reduce the pain, - it only reduces our ability to give it a label, and to have you believe us.
Author unknown
Tuck
Yes I do know that the letter does a great job of explaining how ppl feel that suffer with with chronic pain (CP). I have that letter along with other information listed in my MedHelp Journals. I can post the other portion of that for you.
Believe me I have had CP for near 20 years now and can relate not only to that letter but to others like me...and you that struggle to cope minute by minute. Most if not all ppl with CP find it is often a lonely journey. You are very fortunate that you and your mom can support one another.
I am sorry that you and your mom have chronic pain. I was also in a MVA that by all accounts I should not have survived. But I am just that, a survivor. Being forced to give up your livelihood or career can be painful. It requires a lot of mental adjustments. I've had to do the same and my heart goes out to your mom.
Crohn's and Ulcerative Colitis are Inflammatory Bowel Diseases. Unfortunately I am familiar with them also. My son has had Ulcerative Colitis since the age of 10. He has come close to losing his life during some severe and nasty flares. I am so sorry that you may have Crohn's Disease on top of the Hepatitis.
You've come to the right place. MedHelp's Pain Managment Forum has many wonderfully supportive and informational members. We are here to support you and your mom if she wishes to join us.
Believe me I have had CP for near 20 years now and can relate not only to that letter but to others like me...and you that struggle to cope minute by minute. Most if not all ppl with CP find it is often a lonely journey. You are very fortunate that you and your mom can support one another.
I am sorry that you and your mom have chronic pain. I was also in a MVA that by all accounts I should not have survived. But I am just that, a survivor. Being forced to give up your livelihood or career can be painful. It requires a lot of mental adjustments. I've had to do the same and my heart goes out to your mom.
Crohn's and Ulcerative Colitis are Inflammatory Bowel Diseases. Unfortunately I am familiar with them also. My son has had Ulcerative Colitis since the age of 10. He has come close to losing his life during some severe and nasty flares. I am so sorry that you may have Crohn's Disease on top of the Hepatitis.
You've come to the right place. MedHelp's Pain Managment Forum has many wonderfully supportive and informational members. We are here to support you and your mom if she wishes to join us.
Hi Igarfy; Thanks for your comment that is nice,,..Yes my mom broke her pelvis and was laid up for some time..She at the time did home care for a couple so I took over for her.. After healing she started having all these symptoms and i assumed went through the gament of tests to rule out other problems. I believe now her breakdown was most likely due to alot of meds and depression from not being able to work and being in so much pain. We now talk about our pain together, although mine has not been diagnosed yet> My blood work shows inflammation, also in the bowels I will be having my second colonoscopy in March they think i have Chrohn's? (2 yrs ago colon polyps removed) I am only 38.. (you know i usually get the your too young thing)I also suffer from sleep apnea and now wear a cpap mask.. I will be scheduling an apt with a rheumatoligist soon.... To rule out MS,ARTHRITIS,LUPUS ETC..But I think I had an infection that is causing all this ..I also just got over drug induced hepatitus in OCT.(Tylenol overuse) So I am a mystery. I hope to hear from you again! THANKS
I loved your post. You and your mom are on quite a journey. I wish you both so much love and compassion. I am like your mom. Was anything broken in her pelvis? I was in a auto accident in 2005 that borke 10 ribs on my rights side andI had lots of soft tissue injury to my sternum. I had major bruises where the seat belt went around my pelvic area. Now 3 years later I cannot sit and they cant figure out what is wrong. It starts in my pubic bone then goes all around to my back. Is this anything you know about? thanks and hugs to both you and your mom
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