Is there any way for the child (and you) to see a children's therapist? Issues of setting boundaries are the biggest things in relationships between adults and kids, and often benefit from professional assistance. As far as seeing her mother, maybe she should not see her, if it is upsetting to your home life. What does social services say or do?
social service havent done nothing they have just said shes testing you to see how far she can go .also she as lived with my other sister well everything was sorted with court case of were she was going to stay she lived there for about 6 month she as lived with my other sister on and off all her life it took her 12 month to get her to be good .after that she had no problems with her .then she want back to her mum and it started again .i think she wants her mum so she can get away with everything .because she cart have her .she takes it out on me i have also just found out that when she stays at my mums she spoils her rotten and lets her get away with everything so all my hard work is thrown out of the window
I would second annibrook's advice to seek therapy for this girl. She has had a tremendous amount of instability in her life being moved from here to there. While you say her mother spoiled her rotten, quite the contrary in my opinion. She sounds like she has had it rough. It is very difficult for a child to have had so much disruption in their life to trust adults. They do often act out. I think a therapist should be able to help. Perhaps the court can appoint one. I'd at least try. good luck (and rescuing a child is one of the most noble things a person can do).
i am going to see the doctor over getting her some help ..