9 year old soiling pants

[arekgb]

I am at the end of my rope.  My nine year old son poops his pants every day.  This has been going on for over two years now.  We have been to doctors, gastroenterologist, and, counselors.  Nothing has helped!  We have used miralax, stool sofeners, and fiber.  We have made hime set on the toilet several times a day.  We have tryed rewards and punishment.  Nothing has worked.  He has been wearing pullups for over year becasue we can not afford to keep buying underwear.  He pretends nothing is out of the ordindary.  He will not clean himself up until someone smells him and tells him to do so.  Now we are having major issues at school because of this.  His father and I are so frustrated with this and just do not know what else to do.  There has been no trauma or abuse.  We have tryed to just say ok our child poops his pants and that is the way it is and just accept it becasue nothing has worked, but that is not working either.  It is causing our whole family much turmoil.  Please does anyone have any suggestions other than what has been posted.

[button22]

I am feeling the same way. Please post an update.

[button22]

How is the lofty training going. Any good news? I'm going through the same thing.

[Exsugarbabe]

My 10 year old son poos himself constantly it makes me so unhappy. I went to a clinic, I had to get him to sit on the toilet 3 times a day and laxative every night, for 2 years it was fine. Now the problem has come back worse, I don't have friends over, he's stopped going on sleepovers so that's my social life gone and I'm worried his friends will notice, I worry the house smells too. I have been told to give him more attention, and less attention, and it's generally all my fault, I am confused.  The doctor has referred us to a psychologist as I think it's a complex problem. Best of luck and please tell me if you sort it out.

[Tri_Smith]

Hello all. It is such a relief to know that I am not the only Mum in this situation. My daughter is 9 & has had this problem/condition from the age of around 4. It has now been confirmed from blood results that is it not a 'Medical' issue therefore more likely to be emotional. It sounds so similar to everybody else's experiences......praise, rewards, star charts, medication, counselling, changing diet, a library in the bathroom, throwing pants away, me washing pants, my daughter cleaning them, I even set a toilet reminder on her iPod! But still we are in the same position, my daughters self confidence is going in the wrong direction not to mention the tension it causes both inside & outside the home, and a much as you try not to let it affect every day life it is inevitable that it will.
I've read some really useful comments though, and it has given me hope which I was in need of!  I will definitely be reading the Australian 'sneaky poo' with my daughter, along with trying out Primadophilus.
If anybody had any other suggestions I would be eternally grateful.
I would love to read any updates from people as some posts are a couple of years old,  or if anyone would like to get in touch it would be good to talk. :)

[sheppardP]

I also told him that if he truly thinks he can't feel it that he needs to learn trick, tips for himself to know when he should go to the bathroom... i,e....  before class, after class, just before the break, if his buddy is going to the washroom then he should go, if its been an hour since he last went then he should go. I try to teach him tricks to help him determine when he should go... give himself a little power over his body so he doesn't feel so helpless.

[sheppardP]

Hello,

I have the same issues with my 7 1/2 son. He will pee and have a BM in his pants. It is extremely frustrating and bewildering, to say the least!!!!

I truly believe he does not want to do this, however, he does not know how to stop it. We've seem a the peadatrition, family doctor and a psychological... and nothing seems to work (plus all test came back fine with his bowls ). Well I should say the physiology did introduce us to SNEAKY POO (Google article). We also uses Sneak pee. This helps him, as well as us, externalize the issue and take the blame off of my son. It gives us all something, or some one to be mad at and to try and beat.

My son comes home with wet pants every day...  We manage to speak with the school and they allowed him to uses the private washroom. Him and his teacher made a private signal that he would give the teacher to let her know he needs to either go uses the washroom or he has an accident and needs to go clean him self and put on fresh clothes. This has worked out pretty well to the point he has no more accidents in the classroom.  Every day we pack a change of pants, underwear and wet whips for him just in case.  We even practice at home what he should do if he has an accident. We go through all the motions so he knows the action plan he has to take. This seemed to work for him. I also bought him all the same pants! I constantly explain that no one will notice he change his pants because they all look the same.. and the plus side is they smell clean and fresh.  t think that helps so he doesn't feel awkward coming back into the class room with different pants on.


However, once he left the class and would go to the after school care program, again we would run into the issue of him wetting his pants. No matter how many discussions we had he would come home with wet pants. He manage to make it all through the school day but then seem to wet his pants at the after school program....  My sons currency is MINE CRAFT. He loves this game. I told him if he makes it through the whole day with DRY pants till dinner, then he can have 30 mins of mind craft... The first day he didn't make it and was extremely up set. The second day he made it, dry pants (YEAH)!!! Then the third, fourth and fifth day, by Friday he had almost made it the whole week with dry pants.  But once he got home, I still need to remind him every hour to go pee.

Last year when he was in grad one, he would wear a watch to school that beep every hour. When it beep he would run to the washroom. His teacher said that worked wonders as no matter what he was doing he would stop and go uses the washroom.

My goal is to get the school time soiling under control, then work on the home soiling.  

Before we go any where, we discuss what the signal will be for me to tell him to uses the washroom or for him to tell me he needs his change of clothes.  We always have a plan before we go anywhere. This is very helpful as I, and I'm sure he does, hate arguing in fromt of people about his washroom. So far this worked well.

It is very frustrating and almost impossible for us, a parent, to understand. My husband and I have just decided to be patient and wait it out.  My husband always jokes that hes probably on a wathc list at walmart because of all the boys underwear we have to by every week :-)

It was nice to see that I'm not the only one out there with this issue.!!!!!