9 year old soiling pants

[arekgb]

I am at the end of my rope.  My nine year old son poops his pants every day.  This has been going on for over two years now.  We have been to doctors, gastroenterologist, and, counselors.  Nothing has helped!  We have used miralax, stool sofeners, and fiber.  We have made hime set on the toilet several times a day.  We have tryed rewards and punishment.  Nothing has worked.  He has been wearing pullups for over year becasue we can not afford to keep buying underwear.  He pretends nothing is out of the ordindary.  He will not clean himself up until someone smells him and tells him to do so.  Now we are having major issues at school because of this.  His father and I are so frustrated with this and just do not know what else to do.  There has been no trauma or abuse.  We have tryed to just say ok our child poops his pants and that is the way it is and just accept it becasue nothing has worked, but that is not working either.  It is causing our whole family much turmoil.  Please does anyone have any suggestions other than what has been posted.

[stephanies1984]

Thank you I'm going to try this I've been having the same problems with my son. I hope this works thank you so much for your post...

[rfyhj]

My son will be 13 in a few weeks and is perfect in every other way,smart,on student ,counsel football, socially active, great shape, been to tons of doctors for all the same answers everyone else has on here.nothing. Today he decides to confess its an addiction that has been going on for years. He is manupilitve as this has takin years of money, time, our health for him to confess its just comforting. A fresh pair of underwear is a new adventure. He s not abused or had a hard life. . I am seeking a sexual behavior therapist for this now. I am so relived I am not the only one going through this for years. We also eat very healthy and have done everything everyone else has. This is the only other route. It never crossed my mind he might just like the feel. I just don't know how this even started, he says he dosent know. Àll of our family members know and its so stressful. This has been going on since age 5. I wish this would end and there was an answer.

[hopefulsteps]

My stepdaughter has just started this at the age of "almost 9", after being potty trained for several years.  At first I thought that she was not wiping well enough, so I pitched the panties and had her take a bath.  However, after several days during the holiday break, I see that she is doing this more than once a day (3 times almost in a row today), and it is more than just not wipiing well.  I tried to find out exactly what her actions were when she had a bowel movement, so I could determine why her panties were so dirty.  This is difficult because she simply will not answer me when I ask her.  Well, while I was helping her get cleaned up and trying to demonstrate how to do a through job, I realized that it was quite a bit of fecal matter still on her.  She was not careful, even in the shower with the washcloth, as to how she handled the materials.  This worries me because she still puts her fingers in her mouth.  She promises to do a better job at wiping, as she had stated that she uses 2 squares to wipe; however, now I am wondering if she is wiping at all, or even going to the bathroom at all.  I am concerned about the health issues for her (hands in mouth and feces in the front area) as well as her social and emotional well being.  It would be impossible to hide the smell at school.  I don't believe that she has ever had a problem with bowel movements, and certainly does not seem to now if she can go 3 times in 1 day.  There are no recent stress triggers that I am aware of either.  Have you found any suggestions to be helpful in the time that you have been posting?  I know children can be cruel, and even accidental comments from my children  can be hurtful, so I am praying that this can be resolved quickly.  Any clues on how to determine whether it is a pooping issue or a wiping issue?  Thanks

[arekgb]

Thank you for posting.  I am so sorry that you had to go thru that and I think you mom probably did what she thought she should. Just like all of us here you just get to the point that you don't know what to do.  My son is now 12 and is still having this problem.  We are starting counseling on the 18th of this month.  He has had counseling before and it did not help but we are trying again.  We have also been to several doctors, ect, ect.  Thanks for giving us your thoughts.

[taralynn864]

I was one of those kids. It started when I was like 5 and continued til i was 9 or 10. All my mom did was punish me and call me lazy. I dont know why I did it. I was embarrassed about it. I would try to hide it. I would hide the underwear. I got all A's in school. I had friends. But I soiled myself on a regular basis for years and have to idea why. I dont think there was any trauma but I dont remember. I actually dont remember most of anything from my childhood. I cant remember anything without something triggering the memory like a picture or a stuffed animal or anything really. Even words from a movie. My point in this little rant is that focus what is causing it. Get help from a child professional couz they might  not even know why they do it. And punishment is the worst possible thing to do. I'm 19 and I'm still mad at my mom for how she decided to handle it. And be-four you say that you and your child are close and they will understand, me and my mom are like best friends but I still resent her for it.  

[witsendky0816]

My daughter has never had a dry night.  We have tried several medications and combinations of med and no progress.  I have traveled to specialist hoping for a answer to no avail.  I would love to have a dry night.  Any suggestions on this would be greatly appreciated.