Need urgent help

[Sousou82]

My 5 years old girl cries all the time especially in sports she is in the gymnastics team she has good body qualifications and flexibility her coach says she is not in pain as she plays since 3 years ago but it seems that she cries all the time while all her team mates are happy and comfy i feel so angry that i will make her quit because i had enough of everybody 's comments about her weird attitude also she gets emotional and cries in most of the frequent life situations the issue is should i make her quit ? And how to deal with her as i became very disapointed and angry myself she cries even during school parties with no aparent reason that i wanna stop going to those parties

[specialmom]

Hi there and welcome.  When you ask her why she is crying, what does she say?  What explanation does she have in terms of what is going on at the moments that she is crying??  Is it due to the pressure and stress?  

Obviously, you need to rule out depression of a clinical nature and I'd look into anxiety as well.  But she also could be just having a hard time of expressing the emotions of stress/pressure from expectations placed on her to either perform, fit in, do well, etc.  

So, you need to understand what is happening and what the crying is based on.  

Kids do cry.  We have friends whose kids cry at the drop of a hat.  If they aren't winning, if they aren't in control, if they don't feel they are perfect at something, if there isn't sugar on their strawberries, if they don't feel like kids are listening to them, etc.  

For me, in cases like that---  it is about teaching kids appropriate expression of emotions.  I have boys and we stopped crying for such things early on.  They can cry when they are hurt----  or if they are sad in an appropriate setting but just because the work is hard that is expected of them or their friend just did a better job in the swim meet than they did, no crying is allowed.  Otherwise, I see kids cry very easily in our circle of friends.  Does that make sense?  

I never said "quit crying, no crying allowed" right off the bat but would ask them questions.  And upon hearing the answers, let them know that crying when losing is being a poor sport, crying when something is hard is a bad attitude, etc.  My boys get plenty of love and hugs to temper the tough stuff.  :>)  And over all, we did lots of talking about feelings and how to express them appropriately.  And let's face it, crying is often not the appropriate response to many things but I swear, some kids get into the habit of it.  

One other thought is sleep.  When my kids are over tired, they do get more prone to crying.  (and whining and all that other good stuff . . .  well, bad stuff, you know what I mean).  I always do a bed time shift if I'm noticing an increase in crying or whining or grumpiness and make it earlier.  

So, talk to her too if gymnastics is something she enjoys.  It's a high pressure sport and very time consuming.  Maybe she'd like to try some other things as well.  

good luck!

[MarkLakewood3367]

Since your daughter cries in a variety of settings, it sounds like your daughter might be depressed.  I would not encourage her to quit gymnastics as this activity doesn't seem to be the source of her depressed mood as it seems to be more generalized.  Instead, I would have your daughter evaluated by a mental health professional to find out the origin of her depressed mood assuming that she is in fact depressed.