my child talks TOO MUCH

[tripplebright]

I don't think my 6 yr old Daughter, has ADHD, but I think she just may be Hyper, She has been talking excessivly from the age of 2 till now, but now it's worse!!  In the morning, she Pops up, and starts talking about random things, for example I woke her up this morning and said "Wake up it's time for school"- she popped opened her eyes and said "Mommy did you graduate college?", It begins and ends this way everyday and though I find some things cute and humorous, It stops being cute after about 10 mins of non-stop chatter, and since I know it's going to be like this every day I just get frustrated with it quickly. Most people would just think it's cute, and when she was 2,  it was, people stopped me everywhere because of my "precocious", little girl, who was so well spoken. The thing is she sleeps heavily and well, (and talks in her sleep on occasion), she plays well, by herself for hours at times, and still talks the whole time, which leads me to beleive she may not be ADD. Everyone has always told me she's so smart but she is falling behind in school, she always needs to sit away from other children, she is distracted by, and distracts others, she is Bossy with other children, Which worries me that kids wont want to be her friend, Iv'e already overheard a child say "Oh no She's here".  But the biggest problem Now Is when we run into people, maby someone with a dog, she Talks So Furiously that you can't hear anything else, and she says things like " you wanna come over to our house"  to strangers, and it puts me in awkward situatons all the time, to where I don't want to take her anywhere, cause I don't want to have to talk to all those people, and I couldn't get a word in if I wanted to.    At Home when my husband and I try to talk, she talks over us so badly that we just lose it somtimes and scream "Shut Up"(I hate that, I don't want to get that frustated, and teach her, that it's ok to just lose it and act that way)  when we watch a movie, we usually have to stop it several times, to try, futilely to quiet her, we've learned to use the sub-titles now. she's obnoxiously social, people don't think it's cute anymore and because she's so invasive they just get annoyed with her, :(  
I am so FRUSTRATED with this situation, I LOVE my girl and I know she is sooo special, but if I can't get her to do nothing more than just, * slow down her talking*,   I may go Insane!!  

---I know to some people think this may sound harsh on my part, but keep in mind everyone deals with things differently, and put in the same situation others would most likley feel the same, Her Teachers do!
so please don't post about how Horrible I sound, I already know!!!!

[Stacey_80]

My child is 5 and she is the same. She talks endlessly, have a hard time staying still in class and constantly talks to her classmates. Her teacher has almost sent her out of the class one time because she was being disruptive. She is very smart though.
I feel so frustrated but I don't think that I will allow her to get medicated.

[12nichole]

Wow!  It is really a relief to know that I'm not alone.  I definitely understand the frustration all of you are going through.  I go through the moments of feeling like the worse parent ever, but know that I'm not.  I have to regularly use the words "shut up" because my 7 year old daughter very rarely responds to "be quiet," "stop talking," "take a time out," or "let's have quiet time."  She isn't a non stop talker, but does talk "too much."  The other issue i have is that because she wants to talk she doesn't listen well, mostly to me, but also sometimes at school or in other lessons and instruction will have to be repeated to her because she's too busy trying to say whatever is on her mind.  Once she's focused, she's absolutely wonderful at whatever is being taught.  She learns extremely fast and always has.  I receive the same responses from every instructor she's ever had, such as "oh my gosh I'm so impressed with how fast she learns and how smart she is, she will excel very quickly, BUT she likes to talk a lot which is an interruption...when she focuses she's fine..."  I've been working on this with her since she was 3 1/2 yo when she started her first extracurricular activity, Tae Kwon Do.  She did excel fast and the instructor learned to be firm with her per my permission and it helped very quickly.  By age 5 the same was being said by her ballet instructor, gymnastics teacher at age 6.  She turned 7 this month and began Mandarin Chinese language camp over the last 3 weeks and they are saying the same things.  My daughter attends an international dual language school and started learning French there at age 4 (4k) and is entering the 2nd grade in the Fall.  She is already fluent in French, is in the accelerated reading program in French and English at school and does very well all around in school other than talking too much.  Her teachers are very good with handling the situations themselves as I'm a very involved parent where I communicate with the teachers early in the the school year to let them know what to expect and that it's something we've been working on since she began school there in 4k.  I keep communication open during the school year and have tried every disciplinary method and reward system possible (other than buying gifts - I don't believe in rewarding monetarily for expected behavior).  It has been difficult, but having teachers who know how to handle it better helps.  I do think in part that she can't help it as she gets talking honestly from me (I'm a serious talker/social butterfly and her dad is a social butterfly as well, although she's never met him - hereditary for sure).  She also has the need to pay waaaay toooo much attention to other kids and not herself.  Her 1st grade English teacher thinks that she gets bored easily in school and thinks that the rules somehow don't apply to her since she already knows how to do the work, she then begins helping the other kids (and that's the teachers jobs) instead of focusing on herself.  I have done research as well on ADD and ADHD and I don't believe she fits all of the characteristics, but it is supposed to be a diagnoses that is made after careful consult between all - teachers, pediatrician, therapist, school counselor and parent.  I have a 13 year history as a social worker and like some of you, am concerned about the labeling and the diagnoses sticking with her throughout her lifetime.  Medication is not an option for her at this time.  I do know that it is said that certain foods, environment, etc can alter behaviors as well.  I am choosing to keep my child as focused and occupied as possible.  She will stick with the Chinese lessons a few days per week, she has swim lessons once per week (but we go swimming at least 2 other times per week), she has piano lessons once per week and  has to practice throughout the week, and she will continue gymnastics again in the fall.  I will say that all that she is involved in, she requested so she is not being forced to do anything she doesn't want to do.  She is a very ambitious, competitive and determined girl.  It is also found that many people with ADHD are very intelligent, their minds just move a bit faster than the rest of them.  My daughter is a bit fidgity at times and I ask her why she has to move and she can't tell me, but she does make the effort to stop.  Keeping her busy doing work books at home, reading, drawing, watching an age appropriate movie/family show all keeps her very calm/focused.  Spending quality calm time with her watching a movie, cooking, playing a board game, having a tea party, soduko, and word searches together also really helps.  She is a joy other than not listening most of the time.  She sleeps and eats really well and is very sweet, comical, thoughtful and Quite talented but my biggest issue with my daughter is that she is dishonest a lot about things that simply don't matter.  There is never a reason to tell a lie, however a parent can understand a lie because the kid thinks they may get into trouble, but my girl is dishonest too often for absolutely no reason even some times making up stories to me or others.  It's weird and doesn't happen often but waaay too often for me as lying is a major issue for me re: anyone.  The killer is that even when I tell her that I know she's lying she continues on and may even lie to try to cover up the first lie.  She has strong will out of this world in soooo many different ways it's impressive, unbelievable, and can be scary (lying trait).  Does anyone else have the dishonest issue?  

[specialmom]

Being talkative is not a symptom of aspergers.  the speech patterns typical of aspergers are very noticeable.  Many kids just talk too much with no disorder at all and some with things like impulse control.  But that is different than aspergers.  Aspergers kids talk in the 'little professor' way and have a couple of topics they talk about rather than just talking.  

[livn4god]

Not necessarily there is a wide range on autism spectrum....my son is exactly like tripplebright's child and has mild autism aka aspergers

[darknscary]

Your child is exhibiting symptoms associated with Aspergers.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome

[specialmom]

YOU are definitely on the right track.  the physical activity is key.  Good luck and again, you seem to be headed in the right direction.  peace

[Stacey_80]

My child is the same. She talks endlessly that there were times that I feel really frustrated and at my wits end. But I would not consider giving her any medications. Instead I am thinking of getting her engaged on more physical activities such as swimming, dance or maybe taekwondo.