I would appreciate some advice

[AprilEatsTacos]

I am 18 yrs. Old and a soon to be mother. I'm due on Mar.12 and I don't have a mother or trusted adult whom I can talk to. I need to come up with a birth plan and I am not sure how to go about this. I also could use some words of encouragment because I know being a pregnant teen is very irresponsible but I am financially, spiritually, and physically able to parent my child. I just have jitters because this is my first child and I feel like despite all my research, I'm still clueless!

[lilpollywog]

Your belly gets really tight and hard and you start having pains near your pelvic bone.  My contractions started with pain in tge pelvic area which got worse til it reached the top of my belly, then it faded as it went back down and ended.  Sometimes it feels like you have a bowling ball rolling around in there.  If it gets uncomfortable, you can get a yoga ball and bounce or just sit and rockin a circle.  It helps your hips spread in a natural position.

[AprilEatsTacos]

How do I know what a contraction feels like? I think I may be starting to have some but I am really not sure!!

[Jennie1211]

I'm definitely getting an epidural. I wish I had it in me to do it natural, but I'm too scared as it is. Labor completely terrifies me. I think there can be positives to either alternative from what I have read.

[stacey10]

I've never had an epidural, only  active natural births so cant comment on them except the usual, that your more likely to have intervention by having one, but as I said I dont personally know, you should have no problems with milk production if you feed baby on demand, the more you put bub to breast the more you will make :)

[lilpollywog]

I was more afraid of the epidural with my first child, but it was a breeze.  I was told by a nurse with my second that they actually recommend them because it makes you less stressed which in turn makes the baby less stressed.

[AprilEatsTacos]

I definitely think I am going to breastfeed my goal is for the first 3-6 months depending if I can produce enough milk. What is everyone's take on an epidural. I know natural birth is out of the question in my situation but I want to hear what you all have to say.

[stacey10]

ah I dont know why my full message didnt get posted! but a birth plan is a wonderful way to let the delivery staff know how you envisage your birth to go, you can download some really good birth plan templates off the internet to give you a hand, just google birth plan template and some will come up :)  Breastfeeding is fantastic not only for bub but for you as well, it can be a tricky thing to master but perserverance is the key, and once baby knows how to latch on properly you'll be fine, thats the most difficult part usually as some babies are abit lazy and dont want to open their mouths wide enough, the best thing to do is to relax as once you start getting stressed then bub will pick up on that and get stressed as well, oh and do be prepared for your nipples to get sore, I dont know who said that breastfeeding doesnt hurt, but it usually does until your nipples get used to it, I've had 10 and breastfed all and even so, when I have a new bub the first week or so is still abit tender for me each time, also skin to skin contact when bub is first born is massively important to both you and baby so thats another thing to remember :)

[Jennie1211]

I'm determined to try and breastfeed...there seem to be so many positive aspects to it. I'm also going to the class offered by my hospital since, like everything related to this experience, I have no idea what I'm doing. If you are thinking about doing it, I'd consider signing up for a class, too :)

[lilpollywog]

For me, breastfeeding was very easy with my first two.  My doctor said let them try as soon as you can.  I definately recommend trying when it is just you, the baby, and the doc or nurse.  Like someone else said, everyone will try to give you advice about how to hold the baby, placement of nipples, milk production, etc.  I used to get so frustrated that I wanted to stop all together, but I finally just had to start ignoring them.  Kudos to you though for even thinking about trying.  If you need anything or have questions feel free to ask me.  

[AnnieBrooke]

ps -- if the dad is not in the picture, I assume that means you aren't requesting child support?  How are you going to handle it on the birth certificate, I assume you'll name him as the father?  If so, and if you want no future contact between him and the child, you might need a legal agreement laying out the agreement between the two of you, so he won't come at you later for joint custody or anything like that.  See an attorney or legal-services clinic for advice.

[AnnieBrooke]

I went to a two-hour breastfeeding class offered by the hospital.  Best idea ever.  They showed all the holds and how to get the baby to open his mouth, and how to unlatch him once he was on, and everything.  I loved breastfeeding and so did my son!  lol

[bethalex]

I was 39 when I had my first.  Did all the research, asked all the questions, watch Bringing home Baby everyday.  but when I went in, it all was just a bit different.  Just relax and trust in the pros, and ask them questions to ease your mind.  Breastfeeding, didn't go well the first time. Too many people telling me too many different things, I was confused, my daughter was confused.  The second time, I asked for some privacy, and let nature happen.  It worked beautifully.  I about to have my third.  Breestfeed as long or short as what feels right for you and your baby.  You will know.  Believe it or not, your instincs kick in and you will know

[bethalex]

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[AprilEatsTacos]

Thank you everyone! I am in a teen mom support group and i've been taking prenatal birth classes. The father is not in the picture. I actually moved states so he's over 1000 miles away. I guess I'm just nervous about screwing up. I have always been pretty  smart about making decisions and the first time I let my guard down I get pregnant! What do you guys think about breastfeeding? I want to know the pros and cons from your guys' point of view instead of just my doctors.

[stacey10]

I agree with adgal and jennie, about getting a support network up and running for yourself and a young mothers group if you can find one in your area would be a fantastic start, both doulas and midwives are also another fantastic idea, if you have in your mind a certain way you would like your birth to go, then a birth plan is a wonderful way to let the delivery

[AnnieBrooke]

I didn't have a birth plan, my doctor knew so much and I was so well cared for (I was high risk) that I didn't bother them with my amateur opinions.  The only things I did were to insist at 37 weeks that I wanted to go into labor naturally when they were nervous and wanted to induce me (I really had to argue with them about it), and to go with pain-killing drugs (a decision that is much better made in advance than on the spot, when in labor).  It all went fine, the nurses and doctors were pros.

[Jennie1211]

Just wanted to reaffirm that age doesn't impact how clueless and scared many women feel when having their first child--I'm 39 and scared out of my freakin' mind! I have to do a birth plan too, and I was planning on talking it over with my Gyno. Have you considered using a doula? I've heard they can be fabulous and a few of my friends have used them. Or what about a midwife? I also agree with taking the birthing classes. I think being in a room with other women in your same condition could also lend some support.

[adgal]

Well me dear, I think that no matter how prepared we think we are (at any age), we are all still a bit clueless when it comes to our first.  I was 40 when my first child was born and felt much the same way.  I'm sorry you have no one close to you in your life to help you through this.  Talk to your OB in terms of what to expect, and perhaps consider a prental course.  It helped me a lot.  Also, in most areas there are groups that meet specifically designed for teen moms.  You are going to need the support, it helps a great deal and again, that is regardless of your age.  Is the father in the picture?  If not, pick a close friend or someone to be in the labor and delivery room with you.  They should attend the prenatal birthing classes with you as well as your coach.  Best of luck to you and congrats on your little one.