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young girls having sex
Ok, I just checked out the 20 and under pregnancy forum and I am so very upset! Why are these girls getting pregnant so young? Don't their parents even talk to them? I don't understand a 13 year old having sex and then asking if she could be pregnant?! A 17 year old with twins! They don't use protection, don't they realize they could get an STD or AIDS? Where are the parents? Wake up America and talk to our children, boys and girls, they really need the help and also some help on spelling also :)
let my clarify my friend comment for those who couldn't understand it..
A mom is not a friend until the child is an adult.. they are a mom...
friends go to each other with their problems...
A child goes to their mom with their promblems... moms should not go to their children with their problems... I remember when I was 16 telling my bf mom.. Jessica is 16 she can't handle your problems.. you need to figure them out yourself not burden your child with them...
so a child comming to you with their problems is being a mom not a friend because in a friendship it is two way...
Friends don't set down rules and guidelines for each other, moms do.. many parents are too busy trying to never upset their kids when they are young... and then when they are 15 they try to then tell their kids that they can't do something.. if you haven't established that while they are young they wont listen to you when they are teens...
my motto if you are a good mother you child should sometimes think in their head.. I hate my mom or she is so unfair. If not that means you are just letting them do what ever they want, which is easier but not effective as a parenting tool.
Also kids should look to you as a moral compass and strength, they don't look to their friends as that.
they should have a higher level of respect for you and should worry about dissappointing you than they do for their friends.
oh I don't know a million things more..
think about if a person 30 years older than your child wanted to be their friend.. you would be suspect, and think what is wrong with that person that they want a friend so much younger, what do they have in common with a child, and you might even go to the police... well you are that much older than your child.. that is why you are not their friend you are the parent I repeat again that does not mean you arn't their for your child to come to, you are moms are always their for their children. you always are their to listen, to guide, to love and to nurture that is a moms job always, unconditionally forever... that is not a friend that is a mom...
I don't care if you dissagree... because on this one I am 100% sure I am right... but go ahead if you want to be a "friend" instead of a mom to your kids.. go ahead and do that and see how it works out for you..
A mom is not a friend until the child is an adult.. they are a mom...
friends go to each other with their problems...
A child goes to their mom with their promblems... moms should not go to their children with their problems... I remember when I was 16 telling my bf mom.. Jessica is 16 she can't handle your problems.. you need to figure them out yourself not burden your child with them...
so a child comming to you with their problems is being a mom not a friend because in a friendship it is two way...
Friends don't set down rules and guidelines for each other, moms do.. many parents are too busy trying to never upset their kids when they are young... and then when they are 15 they try to then tell their kids that they can't do something.. if you haven't established that while they are young they wont listen to you when they are teens...
my motto if you are a good mother you child should sometimes think in their head.. I hate my mom or she is so unfair. If not that means you are just letting them do what ever they want, which is easier but not effective as a parenting tool.
Also kids should look to you as a moral compass and strength, they don't look to their friends as that.
they should have a higher level of respect for you and should worry about dissappointing you than they do for their friends.
oh I don't know a million things more..
think about if a person 30 years older than your child wanted to be their friend.. you would be suspect, and think what is wrong with that person that they want a friend so much younger, what do they have in common with a child, and you might even go to the police... well you are that much older than your child.. that is why you are not their friend you are the parent I repeat again that does not mean you arn't their for your child to come to, you are moms are always their for their children. you always are their to listen, to guide, to love and to nurture that is a moms job always, unconditionally forever... that is not a friend that is a mom...
I don't care if you dissagree... because on this one I am 100% sure I am right... but go ahead if you want to be a "friend" instead of a mom to your kids.. go ahead and do that and see how it works out for you..
of course we all make mistakes!!! and we all have a story to tell... Im not even going there..lol would be way too long. As long as a lesson is learned, is all that maters.
I have worked with children, TEENs at that. so I see the peer preasure put on them everyday. Thank God, because it gave me the road to go with my dd. and a heads up on how to go about it. Some of these things would curl your toes if you knew.
parenting is tough !!!! so who do you blame if its not the parent? OMG... Im talking about the big picture.. when it comes down to the root of the problem I believe its the parent.......for whatever reason.
yes... I have had some big challenges with my dd. there again, not going to explain for I would need a whole post. but I will tell you, I took care of the issue the best I knew how. and by golly I waited tables to make it happen. and I will do the same with this one, ugh.. if able.
I went back and re read my post.. and there again?...I have no problems accepting the fact that my child is a product of how she was raised.
for those that arnt taking blame of your childs action? who are you blaming? geez.. must be the school teacher? even the Law... waits till their 18.
my point is... Teens (boy or girl) need to be raised just as we raise toddlers. Just because they get alittle older doesnt mean you stop talking and teaching and asuming they know better. A parents job is never over! hell... Im 45 and am blessed to still have a parent alive to drive me crazy and make sure IM at my best.
just my opinion....
I have worked with children, TEENs at that. so I see the peer preasure put on them everyday. Thank God, because it gave me the road to go with my dd. and a heads up on how to go about it. Some of these things would curl your toes if you knew.
parenting is tough !!!! so who do you blame if its not the parent? OMG... Im talking about the big picture.. when it comes down to the root of the problem I believe its the parent.......for whatever reason.
yes... I have had some big challenges with my dd. there again, not going to explain for I would need a whole post. but I will tell you, I took care of the issue the best I knew how. and by golly I waited tables to make it happen. and I will do the same with this one, ugh.. if able.
I went back and re read my post.. and there again?...I have no problems accepting the fact that my child is a product of how she was raised.
for those that arnt taking blame of your childs action? who are you blaming? geez.. must be the school teacher? even the Law... waits till their 18.
my point is... Teens (boy or girl) need to be raised just as we raise toddlers. Just because they get alittle older doesnt mean you stop talking and teaching and asuming they know better. A parents job is never over! hell... Im 45 and am blessed to still have a parent alive to drive me crazy and make sure IM at my best.
just my opinion....
Until you are the parents of a teenage daughter, it's hard to judge. I highly doubt it's my fault that my girls made tremendous mistakes by having sex WAY, WAY too early. I did all I could do about educating them - maybe I went overboard. However, they are accountable for their actions - even at 17 years of age.
Tennessee - I think you need to rethink some of your statements about the parents being at fault. There are parents who are at fault but not every single one of them!! In fact I would go so far to say teenagers have to take responsibility for their actions.
Also, being a friend to your child doesn't mean you let them run around town dressing trashy and being out all hours of the night. Far from that for some of us. I don't know if my girls at that time would call me a 'friend' but they did confide in me. I'm positive it wasn't about everything but I knew what was going on in their lives. You might think that's the reason they made the mistakes that they did. I believe I set good examples for them (and some lousy ones as I got pregnant during college). I was brutally honest w/them about consequences of their actions - all of them.
I don't blame my parents for me getting pg at the age of 19. They were devastated and hugely disappointed in me. I crushed them in a way- still feel that way. 19 is a lot different than 15 or 16 but in some ways it's not. No matter what we do the best we can - most of us anyway.
Now to contradict myself: the other day my dh dispensed plan b to a girl whose entire family - including grandma - was there. They were somber but supportive & impressed upon the girl the seriousness of her actions (she was 15). Then the same day, he dispensed it to a girl whose mother had come w/her. They were lighthearted and joking about it and he was sickened. Maybe the mother was having some midlife crisis and trying to relive her youth through her child, who knows.
One more thing I'll say and then i'll shutup (I promise). I told my son that if he had sex w/a peer (girl), he was going to get his @ss kicked by me! I told him that there was no teenage girl who 'wanted it' - it was a myth - not totally true but I wanted to get a point across to him that boys most often manipulate young girls into 'doing it' & it leaves them w/the mess to deal with. It's not fair but it's the way it is which is why I had to say that to my son. I definitely wasn't his friend, I can tell you. Sorry for the rant!!!
Tennessee - I think you need to rethink some of your statements about the parents being at fault. There are parents who are at fault but not every single one of them!! In fact I would go so far to say teenagers have to take responsibility for their actions.
Also, being a friend to your child doesn't mean you let them run around town dressing trashy and being out all hours of the night. Far from that for some of us. I don't know if my girls at that time would call me a 'friend' but they did confide in me. I'm positive it wasn't about everything but I knew what was going on in their lives. You might think that's the reason they made the mistakes that they did. I believe I set good examples for them (and some lousy ones as I got pregnant during college). I was brutally honest w/them about consequences of their actions - all of them.
I don't blame my parents for me getting pg at the age of 19. They were devastated and hugely disappointed in me. I crushed them in a way- still feel that way. 19 is a lot different than 15 or 16 but in some ways it's not. No matter what we do the best we can - most of us anyway.
Now to contradict myself: the other day my dh dispensed plan b to a girl whose entire family - including grandma - was there. They were somber but supportive & impressed upon the girl the seriousness of her actions (she was 15). Then the same day, he dispensed it to a girl whose mother had come w/her. They were lighthearted and joking about it and he was sickened. Maybe the mother was having some midlife crisis and trying to relive her youth through her child, who knows.
One more thing I'll say and then i'll shutup (I promise). I told my son that if he had sex w/a peer (girl), he was going to get his @ss kicked by me! I told him that there was no teenage girl who 'wanted it' - it was a myth - not totally true but I wanted to get a point across to him that boys most often manipulate young girls into 'doing it' & it leaves them w/the mess to deal with. It's not fair but it's the way it is which is why I had to say that to my son. I definitely wasn't his friend, I can tell you. Sorry for the rant!!!
oh and I think home school is great for those who do it well... It is hard for kids to have in influence of all the "bad" kids in class that get all the attention because of behavior problems.. many times the well behaved kids don't get what they need because of that... and well if you are so poor you can't afford birth control it is free at planned parenthood if you don't qualify it is because you make too much and as I said birth control is much cheaper than raising a child... oh I take that back I guess well fare is there to foot the bill..
yes most kids will have sex regardless BUT the ones that are well parented wont generally feel the desire to have a child at a young age... that is a fact.. sorry
why the attack on meli? what did she say that was so wrong? i agree you cant be a friend to your child. i dont mean you have to be stern and all rules all the time but come on you are there for one reason, to teach the right way and to lead them by example. tonight i saw a mom of two teen girls wearing a tube top with no bra, white see through pants with no chonies, and the girls wore skirts that barely covered their !@sses. what kind of mom was she? a friend. we all have different parenting skills, and only us as moms can choose what is the best way, but there are some ways that are rediculous. i dont want to sound preachy or whatever but if your 13 yr old son is having sex, how and when and where? are you never home? does he have free time without adult supervision? i was a teen and at 13 i wasnt allowed to roam the streets. i had someone home when i came home from school, and if i didnt i knew better than to leave the house or have anyone over. i wasnt perfect but im sure some will say i am coming off thinking that it always happens when someone doesnt like what is said.
its starting to become a maury show here. there are ways to bring up responsible teens, that will still do things they shouldnt, but dont let them run wild about town!! be strict, know where they are, know their friends, be parents not their buddies. hopefully those of you who were teen parents can change things so its not a family ;tradition.
its starting to become a maury show here. there are ways to bring up responsible teens, that will still do things they shouldnt, but dont let them run wild about town!! be strict, know where they are, know their friends, be parents not their buddies. hopefully those of you who were teen parents can change things so its not a family ;tradition.
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