For those who have lost a baby 16-22 weeks

[JudyGertrude]

I'm curious about those who have lost babies b/t 16 - 22 weeks due to incompetent cervix, and others for whom the babies' heart just stopped and died in the womb.  I would like to hear from those who have experienced this.  

With incompetent cervix, are there any warning signs, or does it just happen?

When the baby dies in utero, are there cramps, bleeding, or other signs?  

Thanks for your time!

JG

[JOYWAWER]

I did not loose my daughter thru incompetent cervix but thru placental abruption. when the baby died in my case in utero I had SEVERE lower back pain with no cramping, and bright red bleeding. I knew something was wrong your body just doesnt feel right!

[mlb1234]

My mom did not lose us but she had an incompetent cervix and both my sister and I were premies.  My sister was like 5 weeks early and I was 10 weeks early.  After she had me they had to stitch her cervix closed and my younger sister and brother were born via c-section.  My mom did not have any warning.  With incompetent cervix basically once the baby gets to a certain weight and the cervix starts to dilate you will go into labor.  With me she was on a walk and her water broke without warning at 7.5 months, then she had me a few hours later.

[izzys_mom]

I lost my daughter on 10/5/07 at 20 weeks, she died in utero. I had absolutely NO signs. Everything was perfectly fine we just went in for our 20 week ultrasound (our first) and they told us there was no heartbeat. We'll get the official genetic results sometime in the next month or so, they were almost positive it was Turner syndrome, which occurs only in little girls, and 99% of cases miscarry early in pregnancy. For some reason, in my case, she didn't miscarry, and continued to live and grow normally.
So sometimes, as above, ther are cramps, bleeding, etc. In my case, nothing. I had only felt her move once, but it was my first pregnancy, so I wasn't expecting to feel it much yet. We had heard a normal heartbeat at the 12 & 16 week appointments. The dr who delivered her said that he just hit his 8,000th delivery,and this was only the 4th time he's had our situation happen.

[JudyGertrude]

Thanks for your comments so far.  I had my first baby @ 28 weeks.  I don't know for sure what happened, but the doctor suspected an abruption since everything (baby, placenta, etc.) all came out at once.  She's happy and healthy now at 4 1/2 yrs -- and for that I will be forever grateful.  I lost a little boy 2 1/2 yrs. ago @ 14 weeks.  Again, there was no definite reason for why, but the doctor said it was probably a uterine infection (mycoplasma, urealplasma).  My water broke after a week of being very sick and sore.

So... now I am 17.5 weeks pregnant and I am paranoid about everything!  I don't know what a "normal" pregnancy is, what to expect, or even if what I'm feeling is something I should worry about.  This past week has been especially rough because I'm starting to panic at every little thing.  I don't have enough room to list everything I've been through this week.

I just wanted to know about mid-term loss because that is something that has been on my mind.  I have felt my baby move, but it is not strong or consistent enough to give me reassurance.  I thought Iost my mucus plug about a week ago, which really freaked me out, but I haven't had bleeding or cramping, which is what the doctor told me to watch for.  Plus, I have other issues that could have caused more mucus, so I'm feeling better about that.

I know there are some who won't want to hear this, but for others, I hope it helps...  One way I have learned to deal with my anxieties is to pray myself down from panic.  Whenever something happens that panics me, I immediately pray that my nerves will calm down and that whatever discomfort I'm having will go away.  I also pray that God will give me the wisdom to know if I need to get to the Dr. or ER.  I pray that, if something really is wrong, the pain will continue and I will have a "red flag" that tells me I need to get to the hospital.  This is the only way I've gotten through this week sanely.  It's so amazing how quickly a peace comes over me and how quickly the discomfort subsides when I do this.  It's really nice to have that outlet, and I encourage everyone who believes in prayer to try it.

I get to see a specialist on Friday, and I know that if anything really is wrong, I'll know then.  I'm sure everything is fine, I'm just a worry-wart.  I also "get" to start progesterone injections next Tuesday.  I don't know what those are going to do to me!  Wish me luck!

Thanks again for your time!
JG

[catbaloo]

hi,
i lost my little tommy at 19.5days, i went for my twenty week scan and he was just floating in the sac. they said he had only died a few days ago as he was normal size. i then went on to have four earlier miscarriages ranging from 6 - 14 weeks. babies always die before then i just have to wait for miscarriage to start. i have just found out that i am now four weeks pregnant and believe this is my last attempt as i am now 37 but i do feel different this time and my pregnancy test is a very strong one. in the past they have always been faint line pregnancy tests. so fingers crossed.

you never get over giving birth to a dead baby, it is the most traumatic thing that has ever happened in my life. you have to talk about it to be able to carry on.

[mandy38]

I delivered my last baby at 20 wks but found out the baby had died at 16 wks.  So for four weeks I knew absolutely nothing.  In hindsight there were signs though, my stomach shrunk and I never felt the baby move.  The first real sign was some blood at 20 wks and when they scanned me the baby looked like a rag doll and was at the bottom of the water sac... soooo sad and devastating!  I am now nearly 15 wks and really worried it will happen again, although I am vigilant and monitoring everything now.  I never found out the reason but the midwife said it was probably a problem with the placenta when it took over.

[7preg3b]

I lost my son Cooper at 18 weeks.  I had no warning..  nothing..  my water broke and my baby was alive as he was coming out.  He died as his head was delivered.  This has been undoubtly the worse thing I've ever had to go through .  I held him for hours and he was beautiful.  I am now on cd2 of ttc.  Its only been 6 weeks and it seems like forever..  They had no reason.  The said a lot of things Listeria(I was really sick two days prior), placental abruption but I have no predisposing factors,  chromosomally he was fine..  He weighed 6 ounces and was 8.5 inches long..  So sometimes there is no warning and others you get some warning..  

[Want2BeMama]

i did not lose a baby....but i had my son @ 24 weeks gestition due to inconpetence cervix...he was born 1 lbs 7 oz..and he is now 16 lbs! hes a healthy little boy for the most part..hes now 4 1/2 months adjusted and 7 1/2 corrected....its been a long road..he is my first baby..and i do have PCOS...not sure if we will try to have any more babys but as for now im living in a miracle and enjoying every minute i have with him!
Good Luck.

[shaylynnsmyangel092397]

i was 15 when i found out i was having twins i was so excited but at second trimester i found out my daughter had a hole in her belly i started having a lot of ultrasounds at 20 weeks they told me my shaylynn had died and said i was going to die and so was my son who was growing normaly if i did not have a abortion. I refused of course and in january 1998 gave birth to my babys i delivered my daughter first then my son i asked if i could hold my daughter and was told no and was handed my son.3 days later i had to have a DNC to remove shaylynns placenta i once again asked about my daughter that i never got to meet and was told i needed to remember her the way i would have imagined her to look .It has been almost 13 years i never got a foot print or anything from my daughter i have my ultrasound pictures with my twins when my daughter was still alive i have never goten any closer and have never meet anyone that could tell me why she died. I have three other children now who were all born early but very healthy.I love them all so very much and feel very blessed but I will never forget my sweet angel baby shaylynn if anyone has had a similar expierance or  a reason why she died i would really like to no thankyou.

[beautifulmum]

well it just happened to me after what i thought was 20 weeks went to go for ultra sound to find out gender and they couldnt find a heart beat anymore.  so it ended up baby died inside me around 17 weeks and my body didnt know it yet.  it is the hardest thing i have every done i had to deliver my little tiny baby in hospital emergency dept friday may 18 all i have from my little boy, which i never knew what he was until i delivered him way to soon.  we were so devestated at the lost of our only son i still dont know for sure what happened i am waiting for appointment this thursday with ob to see what the autopsy says about him.   i am so alone in this and nobody around me understands that i feel alone and empty i had purpose a couple days ago i was pregnant and happy and waiting to find out what he was now i am empty and not pregnant it happens so fast.

[beautifulmum]

i feel your pain i too just lost my pregnancy at 20 weeks i had to delivery my baby that had only developed to about 17 weeks.  i dont know what happened yet i too went to the ultrasound hoping to find out what baby was only to find out the baby had no heartbeat yet. i had heard in only 4 weeks prior. it is the hardest thing i have every had to do i ended up having to deliver baby in hospital where i found out my prayers were answered and it was a boy unfortunatly he never made it.
i understand the pain for sure

[sunitha750]

i thought i was the only one with misfortune.i had the same thing.the only difference was..i was in a foregin land..v came back home..hoping i will get pregnant.its been almost 10 months since the incident happened.never got over it.not pregnant again.somtimes think theres no hope.i cant get over the day i delivered my dead i hope i cope well and move

[high_risk_prego]

Hi. I lost my baby boy at 20 weeks 3 days.. I have an incompatent cervix.  I did have cramps and back pain but I didn't realise it was something I had to worry about. (tmi) I had been constipated for around 3 days so I thought that it was cramps and back pain from bloding. Since the pains were not severe. Anyways they never went away so I decided to go to the hospital see if they could give me something for the constipation and my pain slowly started getting more painfully well when they got me up to L&D I was 6 cm displayed and my water was buldging

[high_risk_prego]

Sorry send it to early. And they tried everything to stop labor but nothing worked... This pregnancy I get scared for every little thing I end up going to my dr about 4 times a week because I have pains or something of another my dr is already frustrated and annoyed with me but I can't help it I have a cerclage and I just want this bby girl to be safe. I started praying and it does help me calm down alot

[nataliereid]

hi i delivered my baby boy at 17 weeks pregnant just this wednesday, he died in the womb and i had severe cramping for 2 days before i went to the hospital on the wednesday and delivered 3 hours later its is the ardest thing i have ever had to deal with i am heartbroken he was so tiny but perectly ormed and holding him in my arms and saying goodbye was so hard, i can sympathise with all o u, the hospital will be arranging the burial o my baby after post mortem has taken place xx

[beauty12]

I m so sorry for ur all loss... My SIL lost her baby at 18weeks... I was devastating for our whole family as it was the first mc in our family after my mother had 2 still born... No one knew why or how that happened... She said she only had back pain n thn she had really bad flu... She went into bathroom sneezed and thts it her membrane ruptured.. She did not pass baby for 8 days.. Baby was alive n moving inside her without water... We all were praying for miricale... Thn she gave birth to her baby boy... She still is not over that... I know its very hard as i had early miscarriage last yyear n it took me 6/7 months to get over it.... I m pregnant 16weeks n i get scared all the time tht something will go wrong... Since 14 weeks i hve been having terrible back pain n cramps but i m just keeping an open mind.. N letting nature do its best... I hope u all stay ok... Best wishes...

[nataliereid]

good luck with ur pregnancy xx

[Ally24]

My heart goes out to all. My world was shaken last week. I was excited to b having our 3rd baby had had 2 straight forward pregnancys. Midwife came at 19 weeks to check up & give scan form. I had both my littlies hovering around to hear heartbeat but nothing... Sent in for scan to see our wee baby just lying there, my heart sunk. He passed away at 16weeks. Two weeks he had been dead & i didnt know, no signs. Sent in to hospital next day to b induced, a 12hr emotional labour that haunts me. I got to see him & hold him & i see his face when ever i close my eyes. Its a lonely journey u hve to go on.
God turns all things for his good, one day i will understand. God knew my little man before he was formed in my womb. He has a hope & a future for him. We called him Malachi; it means My messenger; my angel. He is with his heavenly father & one day i will meet him but for now i know he watches over us & He knows that he was wanted & is so loved.

[turnbacktime]

hi i gave birth to my son yesterday at 20 weeks 5 days im so heartbroken my cervix dialated 3 cm at 19 weeks and i had bulging membranes i laid in the transdelenburg position for 4 days before the specialist did an ultrasound and told me i had a late miscarriage and my best option was to terminate the pregnancy but i couldnt do it my baby's heart was still beating and i could still feel him moving i decided to transfer to a high risk hospital where i got progesterone shots to relax my uterus so i dnt have contractions i was on strict bed rest unfortunately 4 days later i went into labor and gave birth to my son it was the hardest thing knowing i wasnt going to be able to take him home with me or ever hear him call me mommy i held my baby while he was dying his heart kept beating for almost 2 hrs and yet the drs said there was nothing they could do to save him his body got so cold that was my first child i was looking forward to being a mom i feel like i was robbed im sitting here pretty much broken remembering the last time i felt him move i was just wondering if there was any moms out there who has been through this and can offer me some advice on how to get through this or any comfort anything im so depressed right now please help

[Daisymyangel13]

I was 19 weeks and 5 days when I found out that my baby girl has died . We don't know at the moment as it's been 3 weeks since I delivered her as I was told her heart stopped and all I could think is how,why . I want to cremate her but I was told we couldn't as there would be no ashes so we have to bury her . And I know I'm not coping at all as it hurts to see her dead as we had plans for her birth . I hope the pain goes soon so I can move on but she will be in my heart and head forever xxxx love u daisy may xxx

[egiedre]

I lost my baby twins at 18 weeks. This was my first pregnancy. Two little boys - identical twins. At 17 weeks I had a laser procedure to seperate their vessels since doctors found out that I had a twin to twin transfusion syndrome. After the procedure, one baby boy was perfectly fine and another one had a week heart beat. Until then both of them were perfectly healthy boys. A week later, doctors could not find a heartbeat for any of them :( Today, I am going to the hospital to give birth... a different kind of birth. Hopefully I won't go insane...

[milly347]

I lost my 18wks old baby boy due to IC and I didn't know I had it. I did have signs but I didn't think about that. Two nights before I had wiped in the restroom and had a mucus residue with no blood. I thought it was normal come to find out it was the mucus plug. And I had very light pains so light that I just thought it was the cervix getting bigger. I was in my 2nd trimester so I thought I was over the hump nothing to worry about. I have a 19yrs old son and he was fine no problems at all. Hope that helps you out. Oh I lost my baby on 01/23/2013 he just fell right out of me felt like a tampon coming out no pain and he was alive trying to breath on his own but his lungs was not developed all the way. My poor little man he was brave till the end. I miss him so much. Sorry to all the ladies going through this and I feel your pain.

[milly347]

I am sorry for your lost.:( Just know in time the pain does seem to lighten up a bit. I keep telling myself that someday when my time comes to cross over I will be able to hold my son and kiss him then. That is what allows me to move forward day by day, that little bit of hope I keep in my heart with his name on it. And crying helps no matter what other people tell you if you feel like crying then cry. You are a mother grieving the lost of her child/children you have the right. Be strong and know that you are not alone in this painful moment in your life.

[meshkesh]

Hi,
I lost my baby July 10, 2012 at 18.5 weeks of pregnancy, the doctor called it an incompetent cervix, it was the worst day of my life. I'm 26 years old and this preganacy wasnt really planned. I'm pretty sure the guy I was pregnant by wasnt the right one for me. But after hearing my daughters hearbeat, my life was completely changed. I felt like i needed to be a better woman for my baby. My last appointment was that June a month before i lost the baby and I told my doctor i feel like my baby has shifted, because I could feel that the baby had dropped and i was experiencing back pains, they said it was ok, then a month later, i'm in early labor. I was so confused and angry at the situation and just wished the doctor would've examined me more while I was there, maybe they would've been able to prevent what happend if I had that ultrasound that day. I know things happened for a reason, but the past few months have been up and down as far as my emotions go. I've lost people who I thought were friends, who just dont understand the feelings you go through when you lose a baby.