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Baby shower
Hello everyone! How early did you start planning your baby shower?
Best Answer
I think it all depends on YOUR health, and your due date. Some people have it at 30 weeks, some people have it at 35...some people have it at 20. It just depends of who/what/when/where...I think you should probably sit down and think about when is a time for you that will be slower, definitely a weekend (that way people who work during the week can attend), and You know what...screw the people who say you can't plan it yourself. Not everyone HAS family or friends who want/can plan for them. Enjoy :)
This is my boyfriends first child and he's excited since he is 28 n never thought he'd b able to ave kids.im due August 29 but I'm high risk n always give birth early so we planned a June date since July is too hot.we own a home so back yes barbecue n him and our moms r in charge :)!!
When someone throws you a shower, there is no rule that you aren't supposed to give input. I was asked when I wanted it and who I wanted to invite, for example, and I am sure that if my neighbor who threw it had wanted any other advice on theme or games, etc. she would have asked me. There is a difference between helping your friend plan (if she wants help) and "throwing your own shower."
It's not actually true that "most traditions have gone away," no matter how cutting-edge you fancy yourself to be. Etiquette rules that are based on how people feel still have resonance. The rationale in the etiquette rule about not throwing one's own shower is that one (and even one's close family) seem greedy if they put on a party that says "Come give me stuff." I would even feel that way a little, if someone told me "I'm throwing myself a birthday party; it's for the purpose of setting me up with some things. Please check where I'm registered and bring me one of those." (On the other hand, if she said, "Oh, man, I'm turning 40 and can't stand it, so I'm going to throw a party for myself, come tie one on," I wouldn't feel that way.) Anyway, if a friend wants to throw a shower, the message is altered to "Come give our dear friend some stuff to start out well." It's subtle but the first message is not gracious, the second message is.
Anyway, as RockRose says, just keep in mind (if you throw your own shower, or if you invite someone to more than one) that there will be people out there who react to the invitation as something saying "Come give me stuff." (Whether they have ever read Emily Post or whether they just feel it.) If they raise an eyebrow, that's why.
It's not actually true that "most traditions have gone away," no matter how cutting-edge you fancy yourself to be. Etiquette rules that are based on how people feel still have resonance. The rationale in the etiquette rule about not throwing one's own shower is that one (and even one's close family) seem greedy if they put on a party that says "Come give me stuff." I would even feel that way a little, if someone told me "I'm throwing myself a birthday party; it's for the purpose of setting me up with some things. Please check where I'm registered and bring me one of those." (On the other hand, if she said, "Oh, man, I'm turning 40 and can't stand it, so I'm going to throw a party for myself, come tie one on," I wouldn't feel that way.) Anyway, if a friend wants to throw a shower, the message is altered to "Come give our dear friend some stuff to start out well." It's subtle but the first message is not gracious, the second message is.
Anyway, as RockRose says, just keep in mind (if you throw your own shower, or if you invite someone to more than one) that there will be people out there who react to the invitation as something saying "Come give me stuff." (Whether they have ever read Emily Post or whether they just feel it.) If they raise an eyebrow, that's why.
Totally agree. i helpped my sister in law plan mine...
Sounds like a good plan thats what we did for our second baby its a good thing becuz we had a 7 year old daughter and 3 months ago we got our boy so we had no boy stuff plus everything is way out dated.
Excellent!
Mrs. Baze, actually, the second child baby shower thing has totally gone out the window. You can have however many baby showers you want to have, for however many babies you have,
But if you invite the same person to more than one baby shower for that baby, they don't have to bring a gift more than once. If they want to come to more than one of your showers because they enjoy the people there, they bring a gift to only one of the showers.
Have another shower!!
But if you invite the same person to more than one baby shower for that baby, they don't have to bring a gift more than once. If they want to come to more than one of your showers because they enjoy the people there, they bring a gift to only one of the showers.
Have another shower!!
I understand about the second child's baby shower being against etiquette too, but like momagain, my daughter is older. She will be six long before this one comes. We don't have any baby clothes anymore! We actually do still have some things, like a bouncer, car seats, Snuggli and such. We need to check for recalls and such but most of our equipment we kept. But I'm going to have another shower to shamelessly horde clothes and diapers and such.
Prego, everyone plans their children's birthday parties and weddings, of course. That's always been the case. Although traditionally the family of the bride pays for the wedding expenses, it's perfectly fine for the couple to host and pay for their own wedding, and that usually happens if they're a little older bride and groom.
I guess it depends on what community you are from. I'm not "out of touch", and in fact have been invited to 6 baby showers this year - I'm at an age where my friend's are having grandchildren. In my community, showers are hosted by friends of the expectant mother, or by aunts or friends of the pregnant woman's mother.
You can do whatever you want, obviously, that's the thing about etiquette. It's not law. I do think that if you decide to do something that goes against the rules of etiquette that you at least know that going in so you can decide if you still want to do something that's considered to be against tradition.
And I mean that sincerely, and with graciousness.
You can do whatever you want, and if truly all your friends are doing this then maybe within your circle it's the thing to do. Just realize that for the mainstream of society, it's done differently.
I guess it depends on what community you are from. I'm not "out of touch", and in fact have been invited to 6 baby showers this year - I'm at an age where my friend's are having grandchildren. In my community, showers are hosted by friends of the expectant mother, or by aunts or friends of the pregnant woman's mother.
You can do whatever you want, obviously, that's the thing about etiquette. It's not law. I do think that if you decide to do something that goes against the rules of etiquette that you at least know that going in so you can decide if you still want to do something that's considered to be against tradition.
And I mean that sincerely, and with graciousness.
You can do whatever you want, and if truly all your friends are doing this then maybe within your circle it's the thing to do. Just realize that for the mainstream of society, it's done differently.
I have a friend planning one. Although she is letting me put my 2 cents on things. I'm due beginning of July, but she's planning it for end of May to give me time to wash, and just in case baby comes early. There may be a 2nd one that my inlaws throw. I decided due to the diversity of my friends/family that everyone would be more comfortable if I didn't blend them. My wedding was fiasco enough for one lifetime..lol.
Of course my close friends/family will be running and prepping everything. I plan to have it in June since I'm due in August. The actual planning/expenses will be mostly on me. This our first baby so I want a particular theme and how things will be. Most of the traditions have gone away. Most of the people I know plan their own showers, birthday parties, weddings, etc.. :)
My first was at like 7 months and was a surprise, with my second one an aunt told me that you are only supposed to have one for the first one and i didn't agree so i threw it myself at my home at 8 mo or so (gave someone a chance to do it but they didn't) then my last one was done by my mom in the form of a non formal bbq at my home with just a few people, all were nice. Don't know if ill have one this time but a friend is already talking about it plus my baby is 7 soon so i don't really have any baby stuff at all lol
No need to be snotty!
I think my shower will be at my mom's friend's church. Restaurant sounds good too but i wanted silly games like sniff the dump, baby pictures mix up, guess the bump size...
My first two baby showers were a surprice planned by my hubby and co workers or family. This one he wants us to plant it together because his sisters suggested that. Honestly I am not a party planner, I have no patients so I might just go without one.... We'll see! Do what ever makes you feel good.
I threw my own party.. I was 6 months when I did I couldn't wait any longer lol
I think a lot of people right now really don't know that you don't throw your own shower. There are a lot of etiquette traditions that have kind of gone out the window (for example, not wearing black at weddings. Now, it's become okay to wear black where just a generation ago you did not do it).
But the "rule" that you don't throw your own baby shower has not become a thing of the past - it's still current.
http://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/ask-heidi/baby-shower-etiquette.aspx#
Here's the thing. If you have people who are willing to come to your shower, and bring you gifts and spend the afternoon with you, you have people who would be willing to host a baby shower. It doesn't have to be a big huge expensive deal - and it can even be at your own home if no one else is willing to clean up their house and host - but you need to have someone else send out the invitations, take the RSVPs, and "run" the party.
Otherwise, you look like you're calling up friends and asking for gifts. You want someone else to do the asking for you.
But the "rule" that you don't throw your own baby shower has not become a thing of the past - it's still current.
http://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/ask-heidi/baby-shower-etiquette.aspx#
Here's the thing. If you have people who are willing to come to your shower, and bring you gifts and spend the afternoon with you, you have people who would be willing to host a baby shower. It doesn't have to be a big huge expensive deal - and it can even be at your own home if no one else is willing to clean up their house and host - but you need to have someone else send out the invitations, take the RSVPs, and "run" the party.
Otherwise, you look like you're calling up friends and asking for gifts. You want someone else to do the asking for you.
im due march 5th, having shower on10th feb , doing it at my house given keys to my buddy as she wants set things up, its easier to do here in comfort of my home rather than tryin agree on a place
I have a friend who goes crazy (in a good way) over party planning. She did my bachelorette party,and she has already started looking at props and favors and such. I'm due August 22nd.
Can I add to your question? Where is everyone going to have their shower? With my first we did it at the restaurant me and the father worked at. This time, 6 years later, we own a house so we might do it at our place.
Can I add to your question? Where is everyone going to have their shower? With my first we did it at the restaurant me and the father worked at. This time, 6 years later, we own a house so we might do it at our place.
Ditto lalesley; you're not supposed to throw your own.
Usually a friend or family member throws it for you. my moms close friend asked if she could and i said sure.
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