My boyfriend left me, but wants to be in the delivery room.

[roxygemini]

I thought that after a year and a half, and this pregnancy, that I had found my happily ever after. Unfortunately I have had my whole world changed from amazing to complete uncertainty.
That being said, all sadness aside, I need some major input here.
He has hardly talked to me at all during the past month. Not to check up on my Dr visits or anything. But after talking to him today, about the baby, he wants to be in the room during the delivery.
I feel like it is such an intimate and joyous moment, and don't want him there. It will be emotional, and akward, and I don't want the disctraction or the privacy of the labour being shared with him.
He is livid. Says its my selfishness in my feeligs towards him and that it would be robbing him.of his rights as a father.
Should I really be indifferent? Should he be there because he is the father, or am I right in my choices as it is my labour. Help?!?

[roxygemini]

You guys have made me cry. Lol Thanks so much for the encouragement. <3 It's funny how a strangers words can mean do much.
Thank you.

[shastas84]

He made the choice to give up his spot in the room when he chose to stop communications and leave. You're not doing anything wrong in saying no. Don't feel bad at all. It's his failure & his choice. Not yours.

[MamaZ2013]

I dont think you need to worry about the father or if you are denying him his right. You dont show you are a good father by just being there for the birth.. you show you are a good father by being there for mom before the baby comes and helping out after. And like everyone already said.. delivery is such a beautiful and difficult moment. You need to surround yourself by those who love and support you! Dont let him ruin that day for you... just call him after and he can see the baby in the hospital after its born. And remember to trust your instincts mommy! You know what's best for your child!

[roxygemini]

Desi, I dont doubt that he will be a great father, or we wouldnt have even made the choice to get pregnant. I dont see how witnessing my labour and the birth will affect that though. Yes it may be an amazing experience, but I feel it is for loved ones, not someone who has chosen to be an ex. He could have shared in many amazing elements of this pregnancy, like first kicks and Drs visits. I dont think his right as a father, means he sharing my hospital room and the private intimate moments I will have in giving birth. Thanks for the opinion though.

[desi2483]

I think u should allow him. At the end of the day, he is the father. And I think this would be the perfect time for u both to set aside ur differences with each other for the child that u are both having. Don't get me wrong, he may have been insensitive to ur needs, without acknowledging how ur feelings and emotions affects the baby. However, at the end of the day. He has a right to be there, since it is his child too. Nobody is perfect and keepin mind that watching birth for men, can sometimes be life changing for them. He may not be right for u, but he may turn out to be an exceptional farther. Every person handles death in their own way and that is neither right nor wrong. It's the same scenario with birth. Everyone doesn't have the same reaction. Just my opinion

[desi2483]

I think u should allow him. At the end of the day, he is the father. And I think this would be the perfect time for u both to set aside ur differences with each other for the child that u are both having. Don't get me wrong, he may have been insensitive to ur needs, without acknowledging how ur feelings and emotions affects the baby. However, at the end of the day. He has a right to be there, since it is his child too. Nobody is perfect and keepin mind that watching birth for men, can sometimes be life changing for them. He may not be right for u, but he may turn out to be an exceptional farther. Every person handles death in their own way and that is neither right nor wrong. It's the same scenario with birth. Everyone doesn't have the same reaction. Just my opinion