The Gender Neutral Thread

[Alkali13]

I know there are a few other people on here not finding out the baby's gender, but I feel like we are such a minority!  Every day there are multiple "team" pink/blue threads, but I hardly ever see Team I'm Not Finding Out.  I don't want my little girl or boy being surrounded by gender expectations from birth (pink/blue, trucks/dolls, etc.).  I definitely understand the anticipation of knowing the gender, but I don't understand why there is so much importance placed on it.  Our parents most likely didn't even HAVE ultrasounds with us, lol.

I am NOT bashing people for finding out the gender, I just personally don't understand the fascination with designing everything for baby around biological sex.

Discuss.

[knufrio]

My husband and I are finding out however  my rule is, if it's a girl, NO PINK! I'm no completely against it, I just hate when people know you're having a girl and feel like everything you have must be pink. My nursery will be white, beige, gray, and tiffany blue regardless of gender. I find it so funny how people go pink crazy for girls when years ago pink was actually the boy's color (it was the softer form of red, which was thought to be very masculine) and blue was for girls (it symbolized virginity and purity)

[mrs_farris]

I don't want to find out but my husband does, so we will. I gave in because i get to experience the joy of carrying a child and he doesn't.  Our baby is reffered to as our lovebug, and i doubt that will change when we find out the gender. Either way, we will request gender neutral clothing and our nursery will be a soft gray with yellow accents. I don't believe in gendered play, i volunteer in a nursery and all of my babies play with whatever catches their eye.

[Alkali13]

This is true.  I think a large part of my problem is disliking gender stereotypes in general, ha ha.  Some of the people in this thread have made me think that maybe it's possible to find out and still attempt to not gender code your child.  I just think it IS much more likely to happen, and maybe that stems from the mindset of some of the parents who want to know the sex during pregnancy, not every parent who finds out.  I don't think it would change my stance on gender neutrality, but I also don't want to label the child early either.  We aren't gender coding things anyway, so we don't see a point in spoiling the surprise.  =)

[camerinj]

I still think it's not finding out early that makes a parent label their child their little princess/little slugger, etc. if that is the mindset the parent has, they will label their child that way no matter when they find out the biological sex.
I agree that it's nice to talk to a child using their name in utero. I don't think there's anything wrong with getting a wonderful surprise in the waiting room, either. but I think the gender stereotypes are going to be there if the parents hold that in their minds no matter what...

[Alkali13]

It's not that dressing your child in those colors directly changes their perception, it changes the way other people react to them and treat them.  Gender roles are completely defined by culture, not biology, so socializing children to the gender expectations set forth by society begins from the moment they are born.  There are a ton of reasons that children end up acting certain ways (I was a tomboy eventually because I had all male peers I looked up to even though I had "girly" clothes and toys), but there is a certain cue that the public at large reacts to culturally when a girl wears pink and a boy wears blue.

[newjulymommy]

I honestly dont think that dressing babies in blue or pink has any kind of effect on how they will act. My sister( shes 5)  has always been in pink and girly clothes but refuses to play with dolls, not like we force her she hasnt liked them since the beginning, so she plays with her stuffed animals, cars, trains and dragons. So clearly always being dressed "like a girl" didnt have any kind of effect on her. Just like being dressed "like a boy" in all sorts of blues and sports related clothes will have any effect on how i treat my son and what toys or activites he will be in. If he wants to be a ballerina then by golly he can be. But im still not going to dress him in anything other than boy clothes just because people think he should be able to be in both. When he is old enough to choose then by golly he can but in the beginning he will only be in "boy" things.