can't take it

[genamarie]

I'm really upset. My relationship just ended Saturday night as I got upset and my pregnancy hormones went rampant. I said some things more or less that I regretted the moment I said them, including that I wanted to end things, which I didn't, who knows why I'd say that. Anyway, he hasn't spoken to me since, no matter how many times I've tried calling or texting, I'm left with no response. Each day that passes something more is done that shows that he's over me, and not coming back.

Basically, I'm freaking out as I'm 32 weeks and 5 days, and I've just lost the only support and love I've had throughout my whole pregnancy, aside from some of the caring women I've met here. My heart is broken, and I'm scared he won't come back to be there when the baby is born (which I'm experiencing preterm labor, and being 100% effaced, no measurable cervical length, and almost 2 cm dilated, they speculate it will probably be sooner than the due date).

Have you ever said something you didn't mean that someone blew way out of proportion over? I wish I could repeat the night over again. Why did I get so upset? Had I not said what I said, he would have been here early the next day, and we'd still be together.

All I want to do is cry, and sleep. I'm worried I'll more than likely end up with postpartum depression on top of all of this.

[grumpuss]

P.S. I am honestly not normally the "preachy" type, but i have been in the same place you have been and there was only one way out for me. I wanted you to know you have the same chance i had.

[grumpuss]

You don't have to face it alone. Your name is written on the palm of God's hand and he is reaching out to be a Dad to you and your baby. No human will ever love you as much as the being who created you. All you have to do is reach out.

I agree with what Flickan said, church communities can be incredably supportive and practical help. Even if you haven't met God yet or don't believe, there are people who want nothing more than to show God's love by loving and caring for others. And if you don't find that in your current church, perhaps you need to find another!

I would not be here today if it was not for the infinite love of God for me. He must be 10 kinds of dumb to love me, but he does he does and he loves you too. In a way you have NEVER been loved before!

Give up..... Give up your life to God..... It will never be the same again.

[roxygemini]

My boyfriend left me over a month ago. Break ups are the hardest thing in the world, despite being pregnant. Its devestating having this joy and the heartache both at the same time. He has done exactly the same. Treated my calls and texts and tears as if I was dead to him. Its so shocking that 5 months ago I thought that he was my happily ever after.  Theres a shame, a deep sadness, and a terrible bitterness now.
Anyway that being said, he has been calling ne the past few weeks, begging to work things out.But has also told me that he ....so crazy.... moved in with his ex, but is unhappy!?! I feel like my life of normalcy has turned into a real time Jerry Springer episode. As funny as that may sound, it is heartwrenching.
My only advice to you, is to hold yourself more worthy than he has you, and the baby. If he thinks it's okay to punish you, or be so heartless while you have the life you created in love growing inside of you, than he isn't worth the sadness.
Im told soon I will have the greatest love of all when my little girl is born, and won't waste another tear on his loss. I wish the same for you.
Hugs.

[genamarie]

It sounds like you're right about her, although it's probably hard since being your bff you probably had envisioned her being there for you, rather than acting rather childishly, but at least you're so close to the end now, and your little one will be here so soon, so at least you'll have your attention focused on that. Thanks so much for looking into the info for me about the antidepressants! And that's great you can breastfeed with the one you're on. Thanks for the advice. Hopefully you get some sleep! I need to also! It's after 3 a.m. here :/

[Flickan]

The bff kinda pulled a similar stunt last summer when I got married. I think its a combo of her being single n jealous (which as a single friend had to work through in the past myself and understand) and a combo of her thinking this will change the dynamics of our friendship. It will but that doesn't mean it has to be bad. I told her I can't deal with it right now and will talk to her about it when I can. Hopefully she will come around when my.lil diva decides to make her grand appearance.  As for the meds I will get you the info tomorrow. Being lazy n don't wanna get out of bed. They other important factor for me was it will be ok to breastfeed with it as well. I see doc day after my due sate and if I am.still pregnant, then we will talk about induction at that point. When it comes to anti depressants if one doesn't work try another. There are a couple that didn't work for me. One that after 2 years of taking I suddenly would throw up after taking it. Sometimes it takes a few to find the right one. Will send you the info tomorrow. Midnight here on the west coast and should attempt to get some rest.

[genamarie]

Thanks so much. I'm trying to hang in, as there's nothing I can do about it. I said things I shouldn't have said, and he won't speak to me regardless of how many times I've tried to contact him, even after a few days of silence on both ends. It appears to me that he's done and over it. Which hurts so much. I've been thinking about talking to my doctor about antidepressants, because everything that's been going on my entire pregnancy has just added up, and that was the final "cherry on top". I've gone overboard and the depression is consuming me. I know how you feel about not really even being up to the first ultrasound. I've felt that way throughout the pregnancy at a few times. It's just the depression talking I believe, or at least I'd hope, because in my situation, my mom was prepping stuff earlier today for my baby shower, and seeing her prepare stuff made me start to cry, and I started thinking that I don't even want a shower, and I don't want this. Not necessarily my baby, just I can't believe everything that's going on. I hope it's the depression speaking, because I'd feel cold and heartless. I hope he will be back around, but my heart tells me as much as I'd love for him to come back, he won't be. Thanks so much for your advice and kind words. I really appreciate it. I really wish we had both focused more on better communication. Things might not have gone the way they are now had we been able to communicate. There's so much I tried to say, but he had no way of understanding, and there's times I wish he would have opened up instead of just gotten upset. :/