not sexy :-(

[xcitednscaredmama]

So my husband is in the military and just came back from a course abroad after 3 months. I am now 32 weeks pregnant and he is freaked out by the belly, he doesn't want to have sex anymore and hardly ever touches me or cuddles up to me. I feel so unsexy and really don't like how the pregnancy changed our relationship. Also everyone keeps telling me how the baby changes the relationship even more and obviously there's no sex after giving birth either. Guess I'm just looking for some positive relationship stories. How did the baby influence your relationship and love life?

[susamor]

I understand your situation. Went through it last pregnancy except the military part. Once i started showing big time im not sure what happened in his head but he said the same words. Have no choice but believe he was legitimately scared. BUT once our baby was born, the compliments started coming non stop and the flirting and touching and it was like he was a teenager in heat for me all over again even though i had a bunch of weight left over. So anyway, I really do think your husband is concerned and its not that you are not attractive. And like you said he probably has to be distant because in his head he is taking care of you and baby by sacrificing that part of the relationship for a short while. Hang in there. It'll go by soon enough and things will go back to normal again.

[Mommabanielle]

I don't think it's fair to say he isn't a good husband! It's so different for men!  They don't feel sick and feel the baby growing in their bellies, they don't feel the tumbles and kicks... There's automatically a distance there, and to not even be there to get used to your growing belly must be hard and it makes sense that it would be alarming. Think of how crazy you would feel if you woke up one morning and had a big belly out of nowhere, it would be shocking. My husband is a great one, and is going to make an awesome dad, but until last week (36 weeks) he thought it was really weird to see my belly moving. He didn't ever get close and talk to the babies through my belly, but sometimes he would talk like he was talking to them. He never touched my belly without me grabbing his hand to catch a kick or to feel hiccups. And we haven't had sex in a long time.  When we talked about it he told me it made him a  little uncomfortable.  He knew he wouldn't hurt the babies, but it felt awkward to him to be "so close" to them in an intimate moment.  He still made efforts and told me how beautiful I am when I would get myself looking nice and he has been so supportive.  Everyone is different and we all have different coping mechanisms.  Talk to him with understanding, but don't go into thinking he's a bad husband or doing things wrong.  Try to think of the great things he's done for you and be as understanding as you can.  It can be hard, I definitely know how you feel. I've even been in fights with my guy about it, but it always comes down to both people being understanding and trying to compromise moving forward.  Intimacy takes effort and that is the case after baby arrives too.  Don't give up. Good luck!

[KellSull]

I think some men are just scared of it for some reason. My husband and I had sex regularly until I started getting really big. He felt Tue baby move while we were in the act and it weirder him out. He assures me that it is all in his head. I believe him. But he is very attentive and makes sure he rubs my belly and talks to her. Your husband didn't get to we you gradually grow either, so it may be different for him since he was gone while you were going through the biggest changes. Y'all will be okay. Just keep communicating and don't shut each other out:) its a journey!

[manantiel29]

I just gave him a ** and told him that it was normal to have sex while pregnant and thats when i stopped and he was so horny we had sex lol now hes comfortable

[Momabear2086]

My husband is actually turned on by the fact that I am getting bigger due to our little blessing inside me.  He's gone for weeks at a time working but He always makes me feel sexy.  

[shynelle45]

Some men have a good understanding of pregnant women before they experience it and some don't. Unfortunately not understanding something usually equals fear of it. I agree taking him to the Dr with you while he's home and getting him more involved could potentially help. This is my third but dh's first and unlike my ex he was instant dad doing everything from telling me how beautiful I look constantly to making me quit my job so I could get enough rest but he also grew up in a very large family and was around pregnant women all his life unlike my ex. I would just try to reassure him that he's not going to hurt the baby, try to get him more involved, and continue to tell him what bothers you, he can only fix what he knows is wrong. Also the baby being here while deff change things but most of the time it's not for the worse it's just different. He may be better with that because he can actually help, he can't help carry our grow the baby so he may also be feeling a little confused about what to do? Idk just suggestions I suppose. Hope things work out for the best.