step daughter

[kirstlou]

I feel so selfish towards my step daughter im due to have my baby on 19th march my 1st. my husband's ex is due to have an op on april 2nd and has to stay in hospital for 7-10 days my husband cant get any time off work and his ex is threatening that if he doesn't have her she will have to go into care. I feel guilty because I dont want to have her as her behavior at mo is terrible and I will have a newborn. Anyone else think im selfish?

[SuperBatSpider]

Sorry you married a man with a child. I totally think you are being selfish.  What if the shoe was on the other foot?

[edensinterstate]

I can tell you from recent experience that you are not being selfish. I gave birth to my second two weeks ago and i have a 5 year old. It's not easy and line i said it's my second. If this It's your first outs going to be an even bigger adjustment. You should not have to take care of her right after giving birth. Women's emotions and hormones don't start to go back to normal for like 2 weeks after birth and i can't imagine taking on a situation like that. Either your husband takes off or its a no go. Women on here saying you're selfish forget What it's like right after birth. I'm going through it now and please don't do that to yourself especially since this is your first.

[Sophiajojo]

I have a 9 year old dsughter who is hard work at the moment. And if her dad were having another baby and was working around the time his baby would be born I would not put that onto another woman. Its different if he was there...but your partner cant expect you tolook after his child when you have just given birth. And its your first. If you do have her you may be suprised and she may help out...but dont feel guilty for feeling this way. Its not like your saying you dont want her round...its the fact that you would have just had a baby. I know when my baby is due in may I am going to need a hell of alot of support from my partner and my mum to help with my 9 year old.  When I had my daughter I lost a fair bit of blood so could hardly walk. So I dont understand why she wants or expects you to take her on knowing her father wont be there. Anyway dont listen to be people judging you this site is not for all that..your obviously just stressed and worried. If you do have her you will have to make her aware of how tired you are going to be etc and that she will have to behave. Tell her she can help with cuddles..changing the baby etc as she may feel left out. My daughter does. And when your partner gets home he will have to take over so you can rest. Goodluck :)

[Jaja65]

I dont think it's selfish you need to take it easy after delivery if nothing else. A newborn is alot by themselves, then recovering too, and then having to worry about another child too....yeah that's a bit much. Can you not go stay with family during recovery and use that as your excuse? I personally would rather do that than have to take care of 2 young children all alone straight home from the delivery. I think your worried not selfish and you should be because that's alot to take on especially when the mother is just trying to be difficult. Plus you need time to bond with baby and it's your first!

[thepenguinsrock]

What happens if the baby is late and has only been born a couple of days or something? Or if you had a section surely you can't be expected to do it still? I don't think the mums being fair as new mums need rest and there's a lot of reasons why you may not be able to look after her child, she needs to make other arrangements or cancel her plans as it is at the end of the day her child and she should put her 1st :)

[kirstlou]

There is no1 else. My mother in law n father in law work. We will figure something my step daughters mum is so jealous and its nothing new for us