just need to vent!

[Toriiee]

well some of you may have read my past post bout baby daddy drama nd stuff nd how he was all crazy well last week my mom contacted his porole officer nd told him wat was going on nd his porole officer called him in nd pretty much scared him straight! basically told him hes on a thin string of going back to prision... he called me later that night nd was pretty much in tears telling me all this stuff.. saying he does want to be there for our daughter nd this nd that hes always wanted a family nd with his sons mom he tried fur so long to have a family nd she didnt want it nd now that hes moved on she wants it nd he doesnt... he wants to try having a family with me nd stuff... nd idk weve been good this last week surprisingly... well yesterday i was in bakersfield all day visiting my grandpa in the hospital nd on the way home he called me nd was saying that his sons mom found out im pregnant! that supposably someones texting her from a text free app nd said im due in march nd watever else nd she was thinking its me nd my mom nd shes a deputy sherriff so shes ganna report us... its really funny how she automatically thinks its us..  nd he was mad at me at first but the he knew i was at the hospital all day.. nd i even promised him.. like i already have enough going on in the family nd with him why am i ganna do something to cause more problems? nd why would i even get a texting app wen i have unlimited texting on my phone? its dum.. nd now this girls trying to take his son from him nd last night he was soo mad saying that shes trying to put him back in prision over me being pregnant nd stuff nd he wasnt ganna go back over something like that nd if hes ganna go back hes ganna make a good enough reason to be going back.. nd he was saying he was ganna do all this stuff nd idk... he called me at almoss 2am i guess wen he got home nd i was asleep.. he seemed more calmer a lil bit but not really.. i didnt bother to ask wat or if he had done anything... well its almoss 12 in the afternoon now nd i called a couple hours ago nd no one answered nd i havent got a call back... im juss worried :/

[Mizzztaylor]

If you care to read about my baby daddy drama feel free to go to my profile and read my post. It's a disaster. Here is my advice though. It's probably not going to get better and you definitely don't want to give him any room to make it worse. If you have a baby involved then you have to make that baby your main concern. If he pulls it together and absolutely proves himself as a changed man then that's great. Until that happens though you have to be the one to provide stability for your baby. Give yourself and him some time and space for him to really get in his feet again. I know it *****. Believe me I know. And I know it's hard to make the break when you really love him. But at some point you just have to make the decision, as hard as it may be, to set some boundaries and put your baby first.

[Timesway]

This is almost the ame story as with my ex,, they are unstable woe is me, manipulative, self indulgent narcissists.. Mine is causing me stress in whatever way he can .. He won't let me tell my friends (but tells my friends forme when it suits him) for fear of his ex finding out and taking custody of his sons.. He says it's jealousy but I don't believe she's jealous he just uses that to make me feel responsible for him .. I wish I'd seen through his rubbish sooner now I'm preg with his child having To decide how much I trust he will or won't be good to my child.. I like u didn't get to see my dad enough and  I'm v close to my dad.. But my dads kind from his heart genuine and wonderful :)  my ex doesn't share those qualities
T

[windyMae]

I really do hope it works out for you.. And I'm not saying it can't happen and he can't change, but most likely it's not going to happen.. There will be good times and they are what will confuse you and cause you to stay longer.. The funny thing almost all abused people say whether it's mental or physical abuse is 'I stayed for my kids' people think it is better for the kids to have both parents in their children's life, but sadly that's not always the case. With an abusive parent, "and yes just from everything you've said about him he is an abusive person" it is often more damaging to the child for them to be in their life. You shouldn't shut him completely out, but he should be limited in what his role is. In the long run you'll be glad if thats what you do. I got married when I was 18 my husband was always crazy, but it wasn't ever directed at me.. We had our daughter when I was 22 and little by little it changes and everything will get worse. I stayed because I thought it was best for my daughter and anyways there was no physical abuse so what could be so bad about that? Ha there's plenty.. He was in her life everyday till she was 4 I couldn't do it anymore. I didnt love him I didn't hate him it was 100% pure ambivalence. I was pretty much emotionally dead inside, because that's what it eventually does to a person. With my daughter having him in her life constantly and then zero amount of her seeing him.. Was really hard and still is on her. She is more emotionally screwed up from watching his behavior throughout the years than I even realized at the time. If he can't be with me than he has no reason to be her father or so he says. I can fill a book with all the effed up stuff he has done and said. I eventually was pretty much forced to get an restraining order on him. and yes throughout the years he has done the begging n pleading and crying and wanting to change thing but to no avail. Is your baby's father witty and charismatic? Can be a really good people person and most people generally like him? Cus that's how most bipolar people are they are like two people.. I'm sorry this is so long I thought maybe it might help you to hear someone else's story.. The sad thing is my story I not unique there are tons n tons of people out there that can sing the same tune..

[Toriiee]

thank yu :)
i feel she is the one who always brings drama... ever since she found out about me even before i was prego... its juss idk i want the best fur my daughter nd i want her to have her dad in her life... he says now he wants to be there but shes not even here yet nd idk wats ganna happen in the next 4 months till she gets here but im still just hoping for the best.. i have it set in my mind tht to at least give it till shes here nd if hes there then thats great! but if he decides to walk out on her then fine thats on him shes still too young to remember anything... i juss dnt want to not give him the chance of being there nd then later in life wen she asks bout her dad i start thinkin like dam wat if i gave him a chance to be there nd he wanted too... idk... itll all work out fur the best in the end i guess

[kaycee666]

Hang in there girl seems all that drama is really between them.
You are having a baby with him, SEPARATE from her and their kids together.
Your baby deserves starting her life in a happy and positive environment.
You are the only one who can make that happen for your daughter:)
My son is also due in March. Babys daddys exwife started drama too. I put my foot down about him bringing their drama around me and my son and it has diminished considerably since.
Best of luck to you!

[Toriiee]

i honestly dnt care about myself nd him... im looking at it more for my daughter... i could replace having a boyfriend but theres no one to replace him as her dad... he is a really good dad to his son... nd with me he sit here talking bout her all the time now nd bout names nd baby stuff nd everything nd wen i seen him the lass couple times he was stuck on my stomache nd talkin bout wat shes ganna look like nd stuff.. idk mby im getting my hopes up bout him being here fur her.. thats just wat id like to see i guess...

[luvinmy3jays]

My bby daddy sounds just like yours the only reason he came back was because he is sacred to go to jail your mama called and that's wat made him come back.. she said she is going to call so he is going back.. I'm not sayin that he won't be a good father but a good man he is not.. don't be naive just cuz he dropped a few tears.. you well be in a never ending cycle.. think he didn't come back on his on he came back cuz he got a phone call from his p.o

[acline93]

Ok. Well just be cautious.

[Toriiee]

i no thats all it should be bout nd thats wat i think bout every single day! i dnt want my daughter being without a dad.. i had my dad but not like i shouldve had him.. nd its hurting me to know theres a chnce he wnt be around.. trust me if i wasnt pregnant i would have been long gone! my daughter is wats keeping me here... i just want the best for her nd i want her to have her dad as well... nd he says he wants to be there for her he cried to me about it nd him crying like that nd actually stopping smoking nd drinking nd going to church is starting to make me believe he does want a change nd he does want to be there...

[acline93]

*think

[acline93]

You really need to just distance yourself from him. Like windyMae said, it sounds like immature drama. The last thing you need is a boy/man with possible mental issues adding extra stress, because being pregnant is already stressful enough. You just have to know limitations and when to stop adding fuel to the fire. I guess what I'm trying to say is that this relationship is not healthy for you or your child, and your child should now be your number one priority. So just about your baby and let this boy go!

[Toriiee]

i no all the things he has said nd everything but we are still trying to work it out... hes getting help! in the last week since everything he has stopped smoking and drinking and goin to church almoss everyday with his mom! nd i think that is a good start... hes not the type of person to cry.. the 3 ina half years ive known him ive never not once heard or seen him cry or get teary eyed about anything! even his grandma told me.. i honestly think he does want to be there nd wants to try... but like i said in past posts im hoping for the best but prepared for the worst...

just needed someone to talk to other then facebook where that will spread to everyone i know like crazy..

[windyMae]

I've read a few of your posts and don't take this wrong, but it all just sounds like a bunch of ridiculous immature drama. You don't need any extra added stress in your life right now.. My advice to you is don't let yourself get sucked into any of it. The best thing for you would be to just ignore it all. And the father of your baby could definitely benefit from counseling from everything you've said about him in your posts it sounds like he is bi polar or something.. I was married to someone who is bi polar for 10yrs I understand how difficult it can be.. You somehow end up on their roller coaster and it's hell.. My advice save yourself and your child all the hurt and normalize the situation the best you can.. Good hun

[babyonboard24]

This is a hotmess ,after all the horrible disgusting things hes said about you an your child your now concerned about him...why? Good riddings to him an his drama dont you think your kid deserves a better future then all this craziness.anyhoo not my life so im just giving a opinion an saying best of luck girly!