10 Weeks no heartbeat

[Keri102]

So i am ten weeks pregnant and my baby has no heart beat,  I had seen the heartbeat before but the baby has stopped developing.  I am absolutley devasted.  To any women who have gone thru this i could use some advice.  My doctor said i either have to wait for a natural miscarriage or have a medicine injected into my vagina to bring it on.  I am so lost I have no idea what to do.  It seems so wrong to medicate myself to miscarry, I really need some help

[alwshopeful]

I am so sorry for your loss!  My thoughts and prayers are with you!  My best friend was in the same boat.  She woke up one morning and couldn't feel her baby move.  She went to the hospital and learned that her baby had died, but due to umbilical cord complications.  She was 33 weeks.  If you need anyone to talk to, these ladies have been more than generous with my questions!  We are here if you need us!!

[msgorgeous]

Im deeply sorry for your loss it must be soo difficult to be going through what you are, do what you feel is right for you. the woman here are amazing and they will support you in many ways. i wish you all the best

[Keri102]

Thank you all for responding.  It helps to know i am not alone in this.  I know all my family and friends mean well but they say things that make it seem like it is no big deal.  Well to me it is I am devastated, lost, and in so much pain.  I know to them it seems like no big deal because they never met the baby, but i didnt have to meet her to love her.  I think that what latrice said is true it is killing me to know that although i still carry my baby i can do nothing to save her.  I just dont know which is worse that or forcing the baby out of me, it all just seems so wrong.  All i keep thinking is why did this happen to me, i did everything i was supposed to and all i wanted was a healthy baby.  My mom is telling me i need to move on because I also have a 3yr old.  I am not neglecting him, I am taking care of him just like i always do, how am i supposed to move on especially while my baby is still insde of me!  My husband has been amazing thru all this but i feel bad burdening him with alot of my feelings, he is suffering as well, I just dont know where to turn

[Latrice414]

I am sorry for your loss and what you have to go threw.  I had a missed miscarriage at 10wks 3 days, ultrasound showed baby was 10weeks.  I new something was wrong when i woke up that mourning, i didnt feel preggo and went to er, and there was no heartbeat.  Seen my ob that monday for second u/s and same thing, i decided to have d&c because just from thursday to monday i was going insane knowing my baby is dead and inside of me.  That was my first miscarriage and my fiances first child.  People who i thought i could lean on for support blew me off, like ohh thats nothing, your young, you can have more babies, and i was pissed because they had no clue what i was going threw because non of them had a miscarriage before.  I mean i couldnt even vent to them, i was so thankful i found this site, the more i talked about my situation and seen what others were going threw it helped ease the pain a little.  I finally got closure because my baby had a burial service and name engraved on a stone(Logan Alex Hickman-Thompson) I have not forgoten what happened but i am doing much bette these days.  There are some days i see preggo women and i get teary eyed, i graduated may 22nd and one of the girls in my clinical was preggo, we were do the same month and i bumped into her at the store and her belly was showing and tears came to my eyes and she looked at me like why dont she look preggo and she held conversation with me but she didnt ask about my pregnancy but she kept looking at my stomache and then i told her.  But i do still have those moments of wow, i would be 16 weees now.

As avannar said, take the time you need to greive, and try to overlook friends or family that are insensitive to your situation.  I have this article called what to say and what not to say to a person during pregnancy loss.  Im at work right now but i will post the author when i get home, i wish i wudve gave all my friends and family a copy soon as i had the miscarriage because i swear i was angry at people for a long time, i just locked myself in my home and greived.  4th of july i was feeling so so, my cousing had her baby and she came to the bbq, again, i had to go to the bathroom and have a moment.  Well an hour actually.  

You are not alone on how you feel, and there is no wrong or right way on how to greive and how long to greive, that was your baby.  You ever need to chat send me a message anytime, or post a question, there are alot of women on here who are very supportive.

[katebud]

I am also extremly sorry for you loss.  :*(  

[LauraB78]

I just wanted to say that I am very sorry for your loss. We are all here if you need shoulders!

[Avanaar]

I am so sorry you lost your baby!  I went through something similar in January.  I had had some spotting at nearly 13 weeks, went to the ER, and found out the baby stopped developing at 8 weeks.  I had an ultrasound around 9 weeks, but I think the tech was a stupid moron, because he never showed me the fetal pole or anything ...just the baby.  That's what I get for going to a free clinic...

After finding out I'd lost the baby, I was scheduled for a D&C ...the day before it, I bled and passed a lot of clots, but still went ahead with the D&C to make sure all the dead tissue was removed so I didn't get an infection.  Depending on what your doctor recommends and what you yourself want ...you can give your body time to miscarry on its own, schedule a D&C, or both.

I hope you can decide what to do ...again, I'm so sorry for your loss.  ; ;  Just remember to take all the time you need to grieve ...and make sure you find someone (significant other, doctor, family, or the ladies here) to talk to about how you feel!