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Avatar universal

5 weeks pregnant & abortion

Please do not judge me. I am so sorry if i offend anyone. This is a sensitive topic. Sadly I am in desperate need for quick advice. Thank you in advance for your caring help...
I am 33 years old. I have 2 boys ages 3 & 7 from different fathers. I was married to my 3 year olds father. (by court order he visits our son) We divorced due to his pornography addiction (i wasnt aware of). And my 7 year olds father wanted an abortion so we broke off the engagement and parted ways. (he is not in his life)
Now this is my problem today... I just found out im 5 weeks pregnant :( from my bf of only 1year. He proposed to me in Dec and i guess we celebrated. In inpulse i said yes but know he is not suitable to be a father nor step dad or husband. I was about to break off the engament when i realize i was pregnant.
I ended my relationship w/my first sons father b/c he asked for an abortion. I have been a single parent. I dont think a can carry another load. I suffer off/on from depression. I am considering an abortion. I hate myself for even considering it but only a single women, whos been pregnant alone and gave birth alone can understand. My bf claims he wants to be there and marry me next week. However he has no job, no security, drinks...My family has always been there for support but this time I know they wont be. I can not believe how irresponsible I have been. I am worried if I do have an abortion will it break me. Does it affect the same when doing an abortion at 6 weeks suppose to 12 weeks??? Please help.
17 Responses
Avatar universal
I can fathom your thoughts and reasons for wanting an abortion. I, myself, have said if I ever got pregnant, I'd get an abortion. And still today, being 7weeks I'm highly considering it, because I simply don't feel an attachment to something I can feel, hear, or see. It's different for everyone. I've known for close friend of my family to get abortions and not suffer from depression or regret. Don't let others make you feel guilty about what YOU want to do; all they're doing is going off of beliefs and things they have read and probably never experienced before. I wouldn't have a baby by someone who doesn't have a job unless I saw potential that they were trying at least, but still, go with your instincts. Children are great and all, but they can be very stressful. I see depression after people have kids. Maybe you're not ready for a third child. Just my opinion...
1194973 tn?1385507504
When it is done doesn't matter, it's still the same. If you have depression more than likely it will worsen if you do an abortion. I have met very few people that haven't mentally hated themselves or regretted their choice after abortion. Have you considered other routes, such as adoption? If you know you can not handle it alone, let someone else care for the child who perhaps can not have children and can give it everything needed. I know you're scared, but oftentimes when you are afraid you make rash choices and look back with regret. Do not make a choice overnight. Only you know what you are capable of and what you can handle.
1806883 tn?1458324604
Yes I think it does affect you the same, especially since you have carried babies before, you know whats going on.... I wouldnt rush into this decision, but in saying that its better for the baby if you can come to a decison quicker. That said, only you know what you can handle, I have 10 children and during my life I have been a single mother 3times like this... 1st time 1 child, found out the father was cheating, we broke up and I found out I was pregnant, he wanted an abortion, but no way so single mum to 1and pregnant, gave birth to my daughter with my dad as the support person,  married drop kick number two, had 2 babies to him, then finally woke up to myself and booted him out the door, now single mum to 4, moved country with 4 kids, met someone else, same thing, had another baby, he had a breakdown due to problems that surfaced during our relationship, found out I was pregnant with number 6, single mum to 6 :), then 2yrs later found the love of my life who is 10yrs younger than me, he embraced all 6 kids as his and we have added another 4 to thefamily fold...  thing is, for me having one is no different than having 10 (abit noiser), would I not have any of them? NO and I have to say that I would go through all those stinking relationships again, just to have them... you have been in a relationship with this guy for a year, your family will come around, its really not a bad thing, but you have to do wghats right for you not anyone else, good luck
1925157 tn?1328932617
If you have depression I agree with clysta it will most likely worsen you, I have had two abortions, and they nearly destroyed me. The first one was forced on me I was only 16 and my mother and the babies father. And my second one was my choice, along with the pressure of my mother. Now I'm 21 weeks pregnant and am planning on being the best mother I can be. But have you thought about adoption at all? And math if you talk to your fiance about how you feel about his ways he could chang?  Tell him he needs to get a good job, and go to therapy? If he's willing to do this then hes willing to change for your baby..
1927715 tn?1392059540
I sent you a private message
Avatar universal
can't*
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