Aa
Advice
Okay so I need advice on how to handle the situation tactfully. My sister in law has never liked me and I am okay with that now, it's her problem not mine, but now since I got pregnant she always asks me about my job. How many hours I am getting and such, mind you I go to school full time too. Tonight I went to my parent in laws for dinner and my sister in law was asking how my husband was working his full time bus job and going to school. He told her well I do my morning route go to school then do my evening route. I mentioned he had to drop some classes in order to do it. Then she responds to me well have you dropped any classes. I just told her no but I am going half time next era because I am having the baby. She hints around all the time that I should be working more, getting a second job, or i guess after to night dropping classes to get more hours. I don't get why she even cares. I know she thinks I a ruining her brothers life. I should be bending over backwards for him to finish school apparently, even though I have one year left and he has at least three. Then my sister in laws both of them and my brother in law start talking about breastfeeding but they only talk to my husband about as though he has the boobs to do it. They don't get that the little girl inside my is our child my husband's and mine together. How can I talk to them about this without causing issues? I am not mad, I'm just tried of them treating me as though I am in the wrong you know. Because Im not I am doing everything I can possible. Any ideas?
Wow... I hve 5 sister in law... I hve actually stopped talking to one of them aonce october as she bitched abt me with my brother n husband... Now me n my husband has decided not talking any one of thm nymore.. Evn if we do its only hello n bye.. Its our first baby.. We had miscarriag3 b4 so my dh is very scred...
I would recommend ur husband talking to thm... He needs to think abt u n ur lil girl atm... My dh always make sure i dnt say nything wrong to thm or if thy hve ny problem thy should consult him not me... I think thts wht he should do... If thy say something which should not concern thm he should atleast defend u if u r wrong he should xplain u aswell... This is only thing which cn help resolv3 this problm... U saying something to thm will become mess as at thend u ll be thought wrong... Xplain ur dh politely if possible threaten him saying its putting u in stress n its effecting our child wellbeing as she is inside u n right now she is ur responsibility... N one lil mistake can mke him regret for rest of his life... Take care n best of luck...
I would recommend ur husband talking to thm... He needs to think abt u n ur lil girl atm... My dh always make sure i dnt say nything wrong to thm or if thy hve ny problem thy should consult him not me... I think thts wht he should do... If thy say something which should not concern thm he should atleast defend u if u r wrong he should xplain u aswell... This is only thing which cn help resolv3 this problm... U saying something to thm will become mess as at thend u ll be thought wrong... Xplain ur dh politely if possible threaten him saying its putting u in stress n its effecting our child wellbeing as she is inside u n right now she is ur responsibility... N one lil mistake can mke him regret for rest of his life... Take care n best of luck...
I won't lie. I don't like my in-laws at all. I agree w/ searra.
Have you thought of writing your in-law(s) a letter? I did that w/ my MIL and when she makes me mad, I do it again. Usually I send her an email. I have explained to her that I do that because she and I don't have a relationship outside of family gatherings. So why would I pick up the phone and call her? I have also explained to her that when I write something, I have the option of the backspace button, which I don't have w/ my mouth when I am speaking.
I wish you luck. I know how it feels to feel as though they treat you like you aren't even there. Your marriage and how you make it work is NOT anyone else's business but you and your husbands. They need to back off.
Have you thought of writing your in-law(s) a letter? I did that w/ my MIL and when she makes me mad, I do it again. Usually I send her an email. I have explained to her that I do that because she and I don't have a relationship outside of family gatherings. So why would I pick up the phone and call her? I have also explained to her that when I write something, I have the option of the backspace button, which I don't have w/ my mouth when I am speaking.
I wish you luck. I know how it feels to feel as though they treat you like you aren't even there. Your marriage and how you make it work is NOT anyone else's business but you and your husbands. They need to back off.
Stop caring about what they think. Your husband should see hoe much its bothering you and put them in their place. Its none of their business. Trust, I've dealt with the exact same idiots for 7 years not their mad at my husband who they found out about the baby. Well te simple, they can either pull their heads out of their ***** or just not be involved
I know it sounds messed up but if I were you I would just remind them that you're in control and you can walk away any time. If in laws thhink they're going to lose a baby they rethink things pretty fast most of the time. It's mean but it sounds like they need a reality check.
honestly this doesn't sound extreme enough to cause a fuss over, in my opinion anyway. you say you aren't mad or upset so why poke at the issue then? don't get me wrong, i have issues with my in laws too. but you'll either alienate yourself or make it worse.
when they ask about school, just say you're making it work, why? ask her if she needs tips on juggle school and work and that you'd be happy to go over her situation with her if she needs help. when they talk about breastfeeding just smile and nod. if your hubby wants to hear about your boobs that's his thing. either they are trying to be helpful or they are trying to make breastfeeding sound bad...either way i'm sure your hubby is just thinking about your wonderful chest while they think they're being proactive.
families are complex and sometimes, especially as the inlaw, we just have to smile and nod and go home knowing that you are happy and doing what is best for ourselves...family judgement set aside.
sometimes just going home and ranting is all you need.
when they ask about school, just say you're making it work, why? ask her if she needs tips on juggle school and work and that you'd be happy to go over her situation with her if she needs help. when they talk about breastfeeding just smile and nod. if your hubby wants to hear about your boobs that's his thing. either they are trying to be helpful or they are trying to make breastfeeding sound bad...either way i'm sure your hubby is just thinking about your wonderful chest while they think they're being proactive.
families are complex and sometimes, especially as the inlaw, we just have to smile and nod and go home knowing that you are happy and doing what is best for ourselves...family judgement set aside.
sometimes just going home and ranting is all you need.
Your hubbie should put his foot down and let him no if he dont u will. I used to be in a situation like that and I started getting anxity and depressed. Finally I just snamped and told everyone exactly what I thought. When your around people like that it makes a person miserable. Its not right that u have to just suck it up. mine ended in divorce because I couldnt be with a man with no back bone. Now im finally happy with a man that has no problem speaking his mind. Good luck I no how that can make a person feel.
Yeah my hubby has backed me up to his mom also. She doesn't like it but she gets over it. She had a issue understanding her kids have there own family and thinks that everything that goes on that she doesn't agree with is the son/daughter in laws fault. But that's ok she can blame me if she wants lol
I think that you talking to them yourself will just cause issues. They will take it the wrong way and blow things way out of proportion. He should do it. And if he already has let him do it again, and again! If they don't get the hint then you both need to do what's best for you and your family. My husband and I went through the same thing. His mom and his two sisters constantly hassled me and talked about me, until he finally backed me up. They didn't like it and basically told him to chose between me and our kids and them. I guess they thought he would choose them because they were blood. Boy were they wrong! He decided to let them be and we are living our lives happy and drama free, free of them. Its an unfortunate situation because they are now not able to see their grandkids or their son/brother but it had to be done. But this is a worst case scenario. If their smart they will back off and mind their own. Either way, This is your family now. Whether they like it or not. Good luck!
I love my mil she is wonderful, I love my sil too I just wish she would learn that I'm not going anywhere. I am apart of the family and she should treat me with some respect.
He has already did that and they just blamed me because they think I control him. Idk what to do now. Last time he talked to them we all didn't talk for months and it just her my mother in law because one of my sister in laws live with her and her family so we never went over.
Rough situation....I feel your pain. I remember something the pastor told me when my husband and I were doing our sessions with him.....if you come to them with a problem, it will always be your fault. Your hubby is the head of your family and its his family, so if he talks to them and asks them to stop disrespecting you, there will be results. If he doesn't back you up then the cycle will continue and probably worse after you confront them.
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