Hard day dealing with this pregnancy

[evthing4reason]

I'm not sure if its just my hormones raging right now but i feel like I just can't cope with anytihng today.
I got pregnant last october and in feb found out the baby had trisomy 13 with a 0% chance of surving to term. I was induced the next week and delivered at 19 weeks. I then had a very rough four months. I ended up back in the hospital (on the maternity floor with crying babies) becuase of an infection, they sent me home after 2 days and i had to return every 8 hours for 5 days for iv antibiodtics which almost sucked the life out of me. I had about 3 weeks were i felt good, luckily we went on a trip during the middle one. Then as i was getting ready to go back to work (from sick leave)i was put on bed rest and had to have surgery the next month to remove scar tissue. I went back to work but ending up leaving because after 5 years my boss totally screwed me over, it was very stresful. THEN I got pregnant right as i was starting my new job. NEVER imagined we'd get pregnant on the first try again. at 9 weeks i had bleed and cramping. at 20 weeks the Dr put me off work on sick leave until I have the baby. I feel very isollated. During this time we also did a complete renovation on out house and just moved back in, but i feel hopeless. If i work at unpacking a box or tow i'm exhausted. And when i get to a box DH packed I just can't deal with it. I can't deal or cope with anything right now. I had a full blown panic attack because of it this morning. I'm taking it out on poor DH who has worked so hard with this reno and needs  a break, but i can't deal with that, I need his help. I feel like i've been pregnant forever now since by body has not been my own since last october (except for those 3 weeks) and i'm not due until march. I'm beating myslef up cause i don't want to breastfeed, i just know i need my body back and that i can't deal with having to be the only one to feed the baby 24/7

[evthing4reason]

Well DH finally got his boss to give him his last 2 vacation days (he's only been asking since September), so he's off till Wednesday. Tomorrow night is my staff Christmas party and I promise not to harp on him for drinking. I will be happy if we can get the boxes in the spare room organized (he doesn't even have a place to put his dresser, so his clothes are all over the house) and the rest of the stuff from the apartment.
I had a full on panic attack today so I thinkit made him realize he needs to help me with this. I can deal with the baseboards and trimwork not being done (that's when i go to Daddy dearest), but I would like my curtains hung.

[LauraB78]

I think you and DH should take a break together.. It sounds like you have had a LONG stressful road thus far...

I havent been through half of what you have been through, but I do empathize.. This is why women are the stronger sex~

Hang in and like Rosa said, if you feel like you ae getting depressed, talk to your Dr

[Rosa20]

things will look up for you!! It gets tough the closer you get to the end(no matter how much longer you have left) Pregnancy takes a toll on a womans body which is why god decided to have women have babys instead of men becuase as good as men can be..they aint got it in em!! lol...Haang in there hun..thats what i have been doing! Im going nuts doing it but im doing it..wanna join me..i guess we all feel like this some days hun! Perfectly normal...if you feel your getting depressed though you should talk to your doc kk!! Keep us posted! Feel better ! And feel free to keep venting as well!

[JoyRenee]

It won't last forever. My suggestion, and pardon me if you weren't looking for any, would be to let your hubby take a break for at least 3 days. Then start having him unpack some more. That is definitely tiring, even when not pregnant. Take it easy!

[sweetangel7]

I just wanted to say hang in there, try to relax and think of all your blessings.

[leighanne143]

i know how you feel.  I had 2 MC's in a 5 month time span and got pregnant again within 3 months after the 2nd one.  I am now almost 28 weeks alogn and feel grumpy sometimes.

i think the biggest thing we need to remember is it will all be so worth it in a few months when we are holding our little ones.  

I get the emotional train wreck ays to and they feel like they will take forever to get through.  I try taking a bubble bath those days and going to bed early so the next day will hopefully be better.

Hang in there, you are not alone with your feelings.