mother in law issue

[Natasha_j]

So I told my bf last nite I really just want my mom and him to be in the delivery room ,and I know he really wants his mom there. Hes very close with his mom,and I love her to death but everytime I get sick or he gets sick or either of us go to the hospital she is way to involved and doesn't hurt give the space that's needed sometimes. I know she means well but when she is all n me she stresses me out!!!. And the day I'm giving birth will already be stressful Cus I'm high risk pregnancy and I just want my mother and him .but he really wants his mom there and I Dnt want her to Cus she will stress me out and I Dnt wanna haveto tell my mom to tell her to leave or anything. So when I told him that she stresses me out if it could just be him n my mom he just kinda brushed the convo off and just told me will talk bout it another time.. what do I do do u think his feelings got hurt?

[luxah]

Instead of you talking to him about it. Maybe go to her and have a heart to heart. She was there once, and I'm sure she wanted it a certain way. And yes you can tell doc and nurses to keep someone out of the room, and even the hospital itself if you don't want them there. My grandmother (fathers mother) was determined to be in the room when my mother was in labor. And she and my brother almost didnt make it, and my grandmother didnt really care cus she was still ranting and raving about not being in there. If hes not willing to listen then maybe she is. Good luck.

[elle30]

The dad isn't all exposed though as the mom is. He gets to be fully clothed, not possibly going to the bathroom mid push or having other bodily unknown functions happening or just being so vulnerable. If it were husband in my place i wouldn't force him to allow my parent in the room for respect to him and for his comfort. I am a modest person so only my hubby will be in the room and he is totally fine with that. He wants me to be as comfortable and relaxed as possible. My labor and delivery teacher said the same thing. Do not have anyone in the room that will make the situation more stressful, even if they are trying to help. Maybe a compromise could be let her be in there before the active labor then switch with your mom or something.

[DezyGee]

oh nd well i was in the room my cousins and sister in laws took turns being in the room untill i was ready to push only two could stay . So maybe they can switch untill ur ready to give birth nd ur mom can go in with u ?

[DezyGee]

Its your choice ! You can tell who ever u want to be in the room with to stay or leave trust me someone will get annoying during birth and u will be yelling shut up get out lol  . I was the same way only wanted my bf and my mom and my bfs mom was determined to stay in with me and i didnt even like her at the time i wanted her out. My bf and mom stood and she stood by the curtain still and even when the nurses told her to leave she still didnt so i basically had all three of them in there lol

[KylerDavis]

Even though you are the one pushing out the baby it's your child and also his so it's a special moment for the both of you and I'm sure even though he doesn't want for you to be stressed he would also like to share you guys special moment with his mom just as much as you would like to share it with your. Especially if he's close to her. No offense but I think it's kind of selfish for you to not want her to be there when she's only being involved because she cares.. think about how much you care about him and how much it would mean to him g or his mom to be there just like your mom is. You have to put your personal feelings to the side sometime for the people that you love! Hope it all works out!

[KylerDavis]

Even though you are the one pushing out the baby it's your child and also his so it's a special moment for the both of you and I'm sure even though he doesn't want for you to be stressed he would also like to share you guys special moment with his mom just as much as you would like to share it with your. Especially if he's close to her. No offense but I think it's kind of selfish for you to not want her to be there when she's only being involved because she cares.. think about how much you care about him and how much it would mean to him g or his mom to be there just like your mom is. You have to put your personal feelings to the side sometime for the people that you love! Hope it all works out!

[elle30]

Put it in your birth plan that visitors be limited to x amt of people or visitors allowed with mothers ok. The nurses should follow that for you so you don't have to do the dirty work. You do not want to add a stressful person to the situation. You need to be as relaxed as possible. Maybe your hospital doesn't allow a lot of people during delivery so i'd check into it. Maybe say i NEED you and my mom there and dont want to overcrowd the room or that you want it to be a more intimate experience? But remember you are the one ultimately pushing the baby out, not him so you need to be comfortable. I'd approach him in a different way than saying his mom makes you stressed because that might put him in a sour mindset so might make it harder for him to agree.

[Anesha_2_jazzy]

That would be very uncomfortable for me. I know it's her grandchild as well but, I would feel weird *** hell!!!!

[feliciaschult2325]

I feel you I only want my boyfriend and mom in there its bad enough they have too see it and the doctors im shy and a weird thing happened to me at work a lady im kind close to that I work  with asked me to be in the delivery room I was so shocked I didnt even know what to say. But I feel that its your choice and he should respect that and so should she

[becca87C]

Vbaal is correct, tell the hospital you only want a max of two ppl which will be your mom and your bf, it's her grandchild yes and also his baby but it's a lot about you too. Child birth your at your most vulnerable and it's very intimate thing, just say you want privacy and she will be able to see the baby asap. He has to understand and so does your mother in law...best of luck :)

[vbaal]

The only thing to do is request too the doctor and nurses how many pple u wamt in the room. Simple things like that can help a wholeee lot. But you should really consider that! Other wise i dont think she will take it lightly as tl a nurse telling her
Best of luck (:

[Natasha_j]

Thanks ladys! Now the other issue is that I know as soon as I go into labor she will rush over there and be trying to be the first in the room. And at that point I won't know how to get her out. If I tell him I Dnt want her in there when she's already in, he will not ask her to leave. I would haveto tell my mom and my mom will tell her but I Dnt want to haveto tell my mom to tell her to leave Cus I Dnt want her to feel bad or anything. So hopefully he can kinda bring up the fact it'll be just my mom n him or have some kind of conversation with her letting her know so it doesn't get weird in the delivery room.

[mummainoz]

I understand it will be her grandchild to but labour isn't about meeting everyone elses needs. There's going to be a lot happening with you leading up to the actual birth and your entitled to be surrounded by those you feel will be most helpful to you at that point. Stand your ground honey!

[victoriamichelle1010]

My bf reacts to conversations the same way. He might of been a little upset just because he is close to his mom.. but at the same time you dont need to be stressed. Tell him you really dont want to be rude and you want her involved as much as possible but you are already gonna be under a lot of stress and that the more people in the room the more stress its gonna cause whether it were his mom or anyone else..

[daniellegraffeo]

It's your choice. You don't need to be stressed and if she stresses you out then there shouldn't even need to be a conversation about it.