Disagreement over amnio

[blueeyedtabbycat]

So some of your know that I declined the amnio to find out if my little princess has DS about a month ago. Well today I just brought up the subject with DH on when we should do it. I was thinking around 32 weeks. I want to do it for peace of mind and to know what to expect before she is born. DH is dead set against it!! He wont even think about it. He says he doesnt want to know and that it is in Gods hands. I want to be prepared! I know that its my body and if I really want to do it, I will , but I would really like his support. UGH!! He doesnt want to take a chance that anything bad will happen to me or the baby. He just dosent undersatnd. What do you ladies think?? Should I just wait and find out when she is born?? Or should I go against my DH and do it anyways?? Too many desisions, lol:)
Thanks, Tabitha

[blueeyedtabbycat]

I am 30 years old and the only elevated risk I have is due to abnormal blood test and u/s. Baby has ecogenic bowel. Its a soft marker for Downs. My triple screen test came back 1:170 but with the abnormal u/s the results are much higher.

[Kaylee_Frye]

Are you at elevated risk?  Are you over 35?

My take is: just be honest.  This sounds like one of the many arguments in marriage where a compromise isn't an option.  Someone is going to get their way.

If it's worth it to you to deal with the aftermath of a disappointed husband, then take the test.  Realistically, he'll get over it eventually.  At the same time: if he really doesn't want to know the results, respect his wishes and don't share the news.

If it were me, I wouldn't take the test.  Especially if you're not any elevated risk and just enjoy the pregnancy.  But, no one will judge you either way.  I think we women tend to be pleasers to a fault; we bend over backwards to make everyone else happy above us.  You're 50% of the relationship, so your thoughts matter and should be weighed alongside his is how I see it.  

All the best to you!

[blueeyedtabbycat]

This is one of the original posts:




Ok so I posted a few weeks ago about my mid point ultrasound that was done at 17.5 weeks. Well baby girl has ecogenic bowel. I was told that it could be nothing and was advised to take a blood test to determine if baby has downs or cystic fibrosis. Well I took the test a few weeks ago and tried calling for the results and was told that only a doctor can give those to me:( Well since the doctor never called I had assumed that everything was fine. Well today I found out the had been trying to call for the last week and a half. My results were abnormal:( I broke down and started bawling to my doctor. The results were 1:170, but I was told they were really higher because of abnormal ultrasound. I know there is a chance that my baby is fine but in the back of my head I am fearing the worst. I have an appointment to talk with a genic conselor again to set up an amnio. I have always turned down those stupid blood test because I know that they can scare you when nothing is wrong. And now I take it and sure enough. I called my MIL after my appointment today to ask her to watch my kids while I go see the genic conselor on Monday and she asked what I was going to do if baby does have downs? I almost ripped her head off!! What am I going to do? Seriously!! I asked her what she would do and she said she didnt know because she has never been in that situation before. I wanted to kill when she said that it would be alot of work and hinted abortion!! I dont know how I will do it but I will have to because there is no way that I could ever abort!! I feel her move for goodness sakes!! Not that I could ever do it even if I werent so far along, I just dont belive in it.  I just need some hope ladies. Has anyone ever had abnormal ultrasound and triple screen test and nothing be wrong???? I just feel that I had three perfect and healthy boys and now I get  the girl that I have always wanted and look what happens?? Have I tempted fate one too many times????

[luvmy2girls]

I missed a few words....sorry.  If it's NOT going to change........ if it turns out you didn't NEED to.....   I hope that clarifies a little.  

[luvmy2girls]

I personally would not do it.  I would try to prepare myself mentally first and foremost.  If it's going to change the outcome I wouldn't going through with the procedure.  You will still love your precious baby either way and it will be a learning process when the little one arrives whether you know they have it or not.  I would just try to prepare for it and if it turns out you didn't to......oh well.   Just my opinion.  Good luck!!

[mamaofonetrying42]

If it was me, I would go ahead and do it. but i would be super scared and def. would be my hubby there.....I dont know alot about DS and what or if extra care they need, but if she does i would want to know EVERYTHING about it and what extra care she maybe need, you know? I hope he changes his mine......