Dead beat!!

[Its_A_Boy2012]

I hate to put my business out there but I need to vent! My sisters and friends are good listeners but sometimes advice is best from those you don't know. Well the father of my child is 21 and I'm 20. I'm currently 25+5 pregnant. Well for one thing the father only talks to me once a week or so and never comes to see how I'm doing. Never came to a doctor app. Never did anything!!  Well today he stops by fresh hair cut new clothes and a new car!!!! Bragging how he just bought it and he doing so well. I ask him where the car seat that's suppose to go in the backseat.  He looks at me like in crazy so I flip out on him so bad my mamma had to come outside to calm me down. He leaves and sends me a text saying I'm peaty and still a little girl call him when I grow up. My issue is this. You can buy You a freaking car but haven't bought my son not even one pack of Pampers!!! Everything I have so far my family has gotten but it's not their child its ours and he don't seem to care!! He wants my son to be named after him but I honestly don't feel he deserve a Jr. I hate I put myself in this situation.  I LOVE MY UNBORN SON!!! I just hate to think my family has to be the one come out of pocket for everything even though they reassure me it's not a burden and it's alright every chance they get. I wish I could work to help out a little and the father wasn't a dead beat!!

[KaylaCngr]

I'm so sorry that you have to go through all of this without him. If he is acting this way, you and your son are better off eithout him. I wish you the best of luck. You seem like a good person with good inttentions. Just hang in there, everything happens for a reason.

[MamaBear0612]

You can't make a man be a father...but if they are being jerks like that, I'd definitely file for child support. If nothing else their selfishness won't be rewarded; they made those babies, they shouldn't be able to walk away and never think about them again. If they're not being active, wonderful dads for your kids, at least they can be forced to think about it every time they get their paycheck docked. I'm becoming a single mom too, but her father has stepped up and is being there every step of the way...if he had decided to be selfish, the next time I would have seen him would have been in court.

[bbymama2]

i decided to just let him go.. i can't keep going through this. I cried all yesterday, because of the mean things he say.  i always have his back no matter what it IS, and when he get on his feet he leave me. Then when he don't have anything he run to me. im just kind hearted like that. i hate that, because it hurt me when people run over me.. :(

[Its_A_Boy2012]

Thank you aesthetic88... You made the RIGHT move and i like how you are going about things.

[Its_A_Boy2012]

@Rachealxo the last statement you wrote is a good attitude!! They will have each other! My son will have me as both mother and father!!

[Aesthetic88]

I know how you feel...my doner told me that he will not be helping me with anything and he will not be talking to me either because he wanted me to have an abortion...I told him I didn't want to do that so he made his decision not to be a part of his child's life... I told him that it was fine because me and my child will be fine without him... Even tho I would love for my child to have a relationship with their father i'm not gonna force him to be there but I will never stop him from seeing the child if he came around... I know in the end God got me and won't let me fall... I hope ur situation gets better and that he gets better and be a father

[Rachelxo]

@raevicious, sounds like my ex. He only mentioned to me he had 2 kids when we first started dating. Once I fell for him and loved him, he told me, "oh ya I have 2 older kids that I haven't seen since before I started dating you" I was like wtf? He had no pictures or anything of them. And I didn't know he owed them $40,000 in back child support because those papers got sent to his fathers house. I felt ****** cus I didn't know, how can you be a part of someone when you don't even know their children. A month later I found out I was pregnant and things started getting real bad. I found out this other girl was pregnant by him and I couldn't take it no more. I left him. Now me and the other girl that was pregnant by him are friends.  If our babies don't have a father to be there for them while growing up, at least they will have each other.

[crystal725]

I know it hurts now and you're angry and frustrated, but it does get better in time. The pain will ease and at some point, you may even be able to forgive him in your heart. My son's "doner" wasn't involved during the pregnancy and couldn't bet bothered to be there when he was born...because of his actions, my son is just that, my son. He doesn't have any part of his name the doner isn't even on the birth certificate, however, I have always been willing to let him be involved in my sons life...I make it his choice, and he is the one who misses out on a great kid. I met my husband when my son was 5 years old and that is who now thinks of as dad. My son is now 8 and we sat him down and explained to him about there being another person who helped make him, but, Shane knows what a father is, and you can't tell him my husband is not his father, my husband chose to be that role model for him. Just wait, and do for your child, give him all your love, it may be hard at times, but it will all work out in the end. My family is growing and I couldn't be happier...the past is the past, I get the good times with my kid, he doesn't.

[Raevicious]

Oh girls I'm so glad tp hear I'm not alone. My baby daddy lied to me and said he didn't have kids. That was a lie, he ditched them in another state and owes over $2k in child support and the last thing I heard from him is he wants a blood test, and that he's not giving me any info until he gets one.

[happyfeet88]

Omw! I'm going ths as well as lng u keep praying an focus on ur bby God always mke sure u hv wt u need, he doesn't seem like hs ready for a bby,@bbymama2 my bf says is mean too sayn its nt hs child I'm a ***** al thse thngs he didn't wnt a baby, an I'm 28 an hs 35?! Cn u imagine, lol, well u realise tht God is in cntrl an ths momnts dnt let thm tke it frm u the joys of bein pregnant cos once the bbys ther u cn nenver gt it bck, I knw exactly hw u feel,bt I knw my bby in my belly is a blessing frm God an I cn tel u nw fathers who choose nt to b ther 4 ther kids they r never successful it wil haunt thm for rest of their lives, so dnt u try doin anythn arguin wth thm, leave ths to God, knw tht it is an honour to b a mother. :)  

[bbymama2]

im going through the same thing... I just cry & and pray.. im 3mnths pregnant and the father say the meanest things! I don't understand

[Its_A_Boy2012]

Ughh hearing y'all story makes me mad at all man in the world!! I know they all not bad but for the ones that are... F**k them!! Our kids better off without them!!

[Rachelxo]

Oops sent before I was done... But she wrote her saying we was pregnant by him and he denied us. It pisses me off that his wife doesn't care that he has 5 kids he don't see or care for. It jus shows how big of a sh*t they are. They don't care for no one but themselves.

[Rachelxo]

My ex isn't in the picture either. We split up when I was 8 weeks pregnant, since then he hasn't tried to get ahold of me. I found out he had a girl pregnant and had her baby in December. 2 weeks after we split up, he married a girl he knew for 3 weeks, then a month later she got pregnant too. I'm due in May. So hes gonna have 3 babies under the age of 1. He has 4 other kids from previous relationships, but only sees 2 cus hes a deadbeat. He owes $40,000 in back child support for his 2 oldest kids. And he doesn't want anything to do with me or my baby, or the other girl that had his baby in December. I am now 37 weeks. He makes me so mad cus he can go and have a happy family with a woman that doesn't even know him, and believes everything he says. My sister told her about me and the other girl being pregnant by him

[cch1029]

That's very messed up...I would be very pissed off myself. He should be buying stuff for the baby, and he wants a jr.? that don't even fly. I had a simliar situation with my first child. He was very self-absorbed wasting money on things he could be buying for the baby. I paid for everything and my family helped out too. He wanted my child to carry out his last name and he wasn't deserving.