I think it may be easier for you if you don't bring him. He is still pretty little and wouldn't understand what is going on, but may be disruptive. I think a lot of people bring kids to funerals it would be more of a personal choice, but like I said it may be eaiser to not bring him. Sorry for your families loss.
I would say leave him with someone. He won't remember this day. That way you can focus on your husband. I have a 2 1/2 yr old and I think he would just be too busy to sit still. It might cause more stress for you...May peace be with you and your family at this time of loss.
Also, see what your Dh wants to do....he may want him there for distraction......I don't think that there are any 'rules' on it...Whatever you feel comfortable with....If it was a non-family members funeral, I would say to maybe get a babysitter, but being it's family, everyone might like to see him.
Actually I don't think it would be a huge issue. I went to a funeral and wake when I was 4 and I still remember it. I actually brightened everyone's day being there. I am glad that I went. I loved my Uncle.
My sister in law took her 5 year old to her father-in laws wake and funeral 2 years ago as well, and everything went well. It really depends on your child's behavior.
my son is 3 will be 4 in march. He is very advanced and we let him attend my husbands grandfathers visitation...he was very okay and seemed to understands very much what was going on. I took him to my family's house about 1/2 way through simply b/c he was acting like a wild child...after that I didnt attempt to have him try and sit through the entire funeral.
My son is a good boy, he listens very well. So I dont think him acting out would be a prob. My Dh does wants him there.
You should take your son. The wake part of a funeral is everyone milling around, talking, eating some little snacks, etc. (at least that is what we did at my mom's).
As for the funeral part, if he's not misbehaving, totally have him stay! My mom died when I was 2 months pregnant and my bro brought his little ones. No one thought of them as nuisances.
Maybe bring a babysitter/neighbor with you so that if your son does get rambunctious, they can take him to another room and play with some toys with him/supervise him.
Then he should go. Make sure you bring a bag of goodies, whatever you may need to keep him occupied. But if DH wants him there and all then I see no problem in bringing children.
Another thing, this is YOUR family. This isn't like going to a friend's grandpa's funeral. This is your family's personal loss and tragedy, so take the little one! I have a 2 1/2 year old and she does great.