Guilt

Question

So mommies, in January of this year I allowed my deadbeat ex to come pick our child up after 8 months of not seeing her and take her to Kentucky to his home... With a verbal agreement that he would bring her back in two weeks (my own ******* fault) well, since then he managed to get soul custody- he has rich parents, but multiple run ins with the law- and I've neverrrrrr done anything wrong. Well, it's been over 9 months since I've seen my almost 3 year old, due to lack of funds to make the 16 hour drive.. And now I feel guilty about getting pregnant again because now I really won't be able to afford to see her or hire a lawyer to get her back and I feel like when she's older she will think I replaced her!! Is it normal to feel guilty when you get pregnant with your second child?

KailynEmily · Answer

I've tried to get legal assistance through texas- they won't help. If i lived in Kentucky I could get legal assistance there and have a chance.. I've explored every option! Trust me.

trying43 · Answer

I live in Texas, there are many legal assistance programs here that will help you free of charge check the internet for info.  Good luck.

KailynEmily · Answer

Kentucky was our primary residence up until June of last year when I packed her up and moved back to texas. That's why the case took place there in Kentucky... And by the time the two weeks rolled around he has already established paternity and filed for custody, therefore police in neither state would do anything about it... I absolutely could get her back if I could afford to- I'm a great mother with no criminal background and a stable place to live... While he has two DUIs, one he got just weeks after filing for custody of her, and has been to jail for beating me senseless (hence why I left him in June)... I can do absolutely nothing from texas! I just tried to call and get a copy of the court papers stating I have no visitation (because that's what he is claiming) and they won't even send me them or tell me anything because I live out of state and it involved a juvenile! I appreciate everyone advice but please know I HAVE DONE EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO GET HER BACK and there is nothing I can do without 5 grand and an attorney!

baby2_on_the_way · Answer

Find a friend, family member, or ANY organization willing to help you get back your baby. What did the cops in Texas do when she never came back after 2Weeks? And I believe her trial HAS TO BE HELD IN TEXAS because that was her primary residents at the time of the trial. In Wisconsin it even has to be held in the same COUNTY as the primary care giver. His *** should be locked up for kidnapping and the judge should suffer consequences such add losing his title for failing to provide a fair trial. This makes me so angry and if I had $ I would help. If it makes me this upset I cant imagine what you and ppl who know this little girl have gone through. Seek help! Get her back!

hessy3 · Answer

you could of called the cops when she didn't come back home and get him for kindnapping then the court would of went through your state and not his.  Im sorry for your situation but there is nothing that would keep me from seeing my kids when she didn't come home i would of been on the phone.  did he stay in contact with you while he had her are you able to talk to her on the phone or anythign in that sort.  I know money plays a big thing in the whole going to court but they do have things where you can get help and if you never got notifyed when you can take him back to court

BeccaW12 · Answer

I also live in the state of Kentucky...I'm not sure how it works with you living in Texas, but I know my brother had a hard time getting custody of his boy. We knew his ex was up to no good...but it took her getting a DUI and admitting that while she was out drinking, she had left their boy home alone, who was 1 and a half at the time!! They hardly ever take the kids away from the mom. Anyways, my brother is now fighting to keep his son because they lowered her charges and she may be able to get him back....so if she can, you surely can get your daughter back! My brother didn't have money for an attorney but there are programs to help with that. I would see maybe a social worker or something, and request a different judge than last time. They have to make it fair!! Oh, and if you are out of state for a trial, you might be able to call in and do it over the phone. Good luck girl, I wish the best for you! A little girl needs her mommy!

KailynEmily · Answer

I didn't even know there was a court date til it was over!

KailynEmily · Answer

He did go to court, but I never got served because I live out of state... And even if I had got served, I wouldn't have been able to afford to drive from texas to Kentucky for the court proceedings... It's a small mom and pop town and he knew the judge and it was all cut and dry... He didn't file child support, therefore I got no court ordered visitation...

hessy3 · Answer

i guess i'm lost how could he get custody of her didnt' you go to court

KailynEmily · Answer

Thank you! I feel terrible when people ask about my first because first thing people assume when a mom doesn't have their child is that they're a bad mother and that couldn't be any further from the truth.. Anyone who lives in Kentucky knows their messed up Common Law ways.. It's a crappy state as far as I'm concerned! I feel like people will judge me when I tell them I'm expecting again because I don't have my daughter and haven't exactly been able to fight for her.

baby2_on_the_way · Answer

How horrible. I am so sorry this happened to you. I couldn't imagine. This is a great group of expectant mothers and everyone on here seems to be really supportive. I hope you are able to get everything solved for your first child with minimal stress on the bundle of joy you are carrying now. Good luck dear

JewelK · Answer

I think that can happen. I felt bad I wouldn't be spending as much time with my first once the second comes along. Hormones can make any feelings stronger or stir up others.