Help making plans.

Question

Since I don't know if I'm going to end up taking a long vacation in a little hospital room soon my mother wanted me to start figuring out plans for my two year old in every situation I can think of..... But I have no idea where to start!!!! I wish it was easy to just say "call his dad, and he'll stay with his dad until all is better" but he is SO unreliable!  When I had my contractions and had to have emergency transport to a larger hospital his dad wouldn't come and get him because it wasn't his weekend and he didn't have the money (even though we offered him $100, he does live 2 hours away).  He just got a new job (constantly gets fired or quits), and he has a one year old by another girl that has a regular babysitter.  But for some reason if I mention I need some help and I've be willing to pay him back his child support in exchange, he gets all huffy!  Like it's my fault he ho'd around, I caught him, divorced him, and he got some girl pregnant before the ink was dry on our divorce agreement.
Ugh I just don't know what to do :-(  my mom is talking about taking my two year old in because I'm on strict bedrest, but I just don't feel right doing that :-(  I'm so insanely protective of him because it feels like his dad takes him on his weekends out of obligation, not because he wants to. 
My boyfriend is great with him (pretty much his dad) but no day cares open early enough for him to take Marshall there...... 
I guess I just need help from some outside people who can help me think clearly.  I'm just so scatter brained to even think of the possible scenarios :-(

RippedonScotch · Answer

I would think your mom offered to help you out. if your mom took him to daycare in the mornings and your BF had him after daycare you would still see him daily so it wouldn't be so bad. You have to take care of you in all of this as well. He'll think it's cool he gets sleepovers or what have you with Grandma while mommy is getting better.

Babyiish · Answer

Maybe they could even get paid by the state, fed or something to care for you.....

TxMamma · Answer

What about having an in-home sitter/nanny/housekeeper?  If that's in the budget at least. That way he's home but u don't have to run after him. Plus ur house will stay tidy.

TxMamma · Answer

What about having an in-home sitter/nanny/housekeeper?  If that's in the budget at least. That way he's home but u don't have to run after him. Plus ur house will stay tidy.

Babyiish · Answer

I Don't know much about this but your mom or husband can go in leave of absents at work to care for you.  You did go on leave of absent at your work do to your disability right.... Maybe if you research it maybe you could find some useful information......

Factorymomma · Answer

Lol I just want to find a good solution for everyone lol

MamaBear0612 · Answer

Maybe you could at least ask her (or another family member or friend if you have one closer) if they could take your little boy to daycare in the morning? Since your boyfriend gets off so early, it seems like that's the main problem you'd have to solve, and it would keep you from having to send him to her house.

I realize it'd be inconvenient for her to drive an extra hour every weekday morning, but my mom would do it in a second. Pretty sure she'd do it for my dog if necessary lol, and definitely for her baby girl and her child. :)

Factorymomma · Answer

I'm 25wks and my parents live 30 mins away

MamaBear0612 · Answer

How far does your mom live from you? It seems like you should be able to see him a lot more than that...when your boyfriend gets home maybe he can bring him home for a little while, at least a few times during the week. And assuming your boyfriend is home he could even spend the weekends with you...the main goal is to keep from having to run after a little boy with no help, not to separate your child from you. How far along are you? Wondering how long this will be an issue for you.

Factorymomma · Answer

The evening isn't the problem, my boyfriend gets off at 3p everyday.  But we're worried my next ob appointment (which is at my specialist) might be my final day of freedom outside a hospital. I'm only 25 weeks :-(.  So I have to figure out something with my son....

sehale · Answer

Why don't you see if you and your son can stay with your mom or see if your mom can stay with you two? She can still take him to day care, but you two will be together every night with your mother to help out.

Factorymomma · Answer

Thats what she wants to do since she works 8a-5p.  I just don't know what I'd do all alone during the day.  She said she'd bring him over on the weekends.  So I'd see him four days a month.  I just can't handle that. :-(  but I feel like I have absolutely no choice.

MamaBear0612 · Answer

Maybe your mom can take him to daycare in the morning? I understand your protectiveness, but it could be fun for him to stay with your mom for awhile...at least he's with family and she'll be able to do things with him and bring him by so you can see him. In my family it's common for kids to spend a lot of time with extended family, and in a situation like this that would be the natural solution. It sounds like your ex is not going to be much help.