Rooming Issues....Help!

[BTS1022]

Okay so as of now my boys have their own room, but DH and I were thinking of having the 2 older boys share a room so that the baby can have his own nursery. Well That would be fine if my children would behave.

They stay up and torture each other and play until sometimes 3am when they share a room. My oldest knows not to get out of bed, but my youngest gets out of his bed and constantly runs a mok doing as he pleases and tearing stuff up. We have tried everything from time out to spankings and waking them up super early but to no avail. I have even tried putting my youngest to bed early but then he end up waking up when my oldest has to lay down.

They don't have this issue in their *Own* rooms which is why im worried on them sharing a room. If they are to share a room I want to knick the bad habits in the butt before Conner gets here, because I will be damned if I have to struggle with 3 kids at night time lol.

Any suggestions and opinions on how to make it work?

[msgorgeous]

you can put the oldest in the play room couldnt you? thats just an idea then all three boys would have there own room

[BTS1022]

Awesome thank you for the website! Yes I know his destructive behavior is for attention, no matter how much we give him it never seems to be enough at times. I have also been breaking myself of the whole babying issue, He has been attached to my hip for the past year and I cant even use the restroom during the day without him going through his seperation anxiety, so daddy has been taking over and helping me out so we can wean him off me so to speak lol.

DH and I will eventually work it out, thank you for your opinions though, they were very thoughtful, and I will use them when we consider what to do when baby gets close.

[gokuangel]

How old is the oldest child? Maybe he could sleep in the extra living space that you have! Only other thing i might say is that like one  the girls mentioned like on nanny911 how they do it there but that would mean staying up probably all nite to get ur lil one to understand that getting up he will be put right bk to bed and being pregnant you are probably way too tired for that!!

[Avanaar]

Hooray for routines!!  It just stinks that your youngest doesn't seem to like to follow it once he's put in bed!  ><  Obviously, as I'm sure you know, the destructive behavior is just his way of getting attention.  Kids will find a way (whether it's positive or negative) to get the attention they want.  I'm sure there's a way to redirect his negative behavior into something positive, but I'm at a loss at the moment.  

As for baby gates ...hooray for Google again!  lol ...there's a website called babygates.com that you can put in the size your looking for, the mounting type (pressure/hardware), etc.  Check it out!  And maybe you  can find something helpful!

[BTS1022]

But if my boys share a room, I wont be able to do the baby gate thing because my oldest needs to use the restroom in the middle of the night. Thats how my youngest would generally get out of his room, he is very pushy as my oldest is laid back and non aggressive at all.

Right now we have doorknob locks so he can't get out, but we are planning on taking those off as they were temporary until we could build a special door. We are putting french doors with plexi glass in their rooms so that we can see inside and they can see outside but still have the safety of keeping the door closed. They will also have higher than usual doorknobs on the inside of the door so that he wont reach for a while.

I just wish the boys could share a room together so that the baby could have his own nursery. I will figure it out though, hopefully my FIL can help us build an addition to the inside of the house this summer before the baby gets here.

[BTS1022]

Nope, My kids have a very structured routine throughout the day and night. DH and I bathe both of them together, I generally wash and DH gets them out and dresses them. After bath time we all sit and have a snack and watch a 30 min cartoon. Then we both DH and I put the kids to bed at the same time every night, and they both go to bed. We have a nightime routine where we sit in one room, read a bedtime story, and say our prayers, and then it is off to bed. My oldest son knows he can sit in bed and read as long as he is quiet, and the same goes for my youngest. But my youngest has other plans, he has already ripped the stitching and stuffing out of his brandnew mattress, the 3rd one this month lol, and as soon as we close the bedroom door he either A) throws a huge fit or B) gets out of bed and destroys something.

The fits have gotten better, but he still tends to rip stuff apart, he is all boy and is the type who needs the attention on him 24/7 because I used to baby him really bad.


The 2 baby gates could work, but I would have to get the spring loaded ones, which he knows how to open, because im just way to short to be climbing over 2 gates, and to preggers to lift my short little legs that high lol.

[Avanaar]

Oh, one more question... I went and googled 'keeping kids in bed at night' and got quite a few articles back ...so if you're still having trouble, always remember search engines have a wealth of knowledge hiding in them  The first link I went to had this on the list:

"Establish a memorable bedtime routine. The routine does not need to be elaborate; however, it should be something your child looks forward to each night and considers a special time. This can be as simple as reading a favorite book in a special part of the room, having a bath to soothing music, eating a snack and then brushing teeth, singing a favorite song, saying a prayer, exchanging highlights of the day, or even a special bedtime kiss-n-hug ritual."

So, my question is:  Do they both go to bed at the same time?  Do you start getting them ready at a specific time or is it just all of a sudden "BAM! It's bedtime kids!"?  Working in childcare for 5+ years I've learned it's good to give kids a 'warning' ", you have 10 minutes to play, then it's time to clean-up for lunch."  Kids thrive on routines and schedules, so if you don't already have one for bedtime, sit down with your boys and ask what they would like to do before going to sleep (make sure it's a quiet, relaxing activity and not one that will get them even more riled up!)

[Avanaar]

Since this is my first child, I've never had to deal with sleeping issues (yet!).  However, I was watching Nanny 911 a month or so ago and she was trying to help the parents get their two boys to sleep in their beds and room (which they shared).  What the mother on that program was *supposed* to do, was let her boys know that if they stayed in bed, laying down and resting, she would read them a story then sit with them till they were asleep (or something close to that).  If they got up and started playing they would have to go to time-out.  The nanny tried to reiterate to these frustrated, tired parents that it wasn't going to be an overnight miracle, but they gave up the first couple times they tried this.  

Like Joy said, it took her kids a while to get over the 'novelty' of sharing a room, but now they sleep just fine.  Perhaps your younger one thinks that being in a room with his brother means 24/7 playtime.  As for keeping him in his room so he doesn't get up and terrorize the house in the middle of the night ...what about two baby gates?  He can't very well climb over both, can he?  I know this is a far stretch comparison, but I used to put up two gates for my dog so she wouldn't jump the one.  If your youngest throws a fit about it, let him know that when he starts sleeping in his bed like a big boy and doesn't get up and play throughout the house, that you'll remove the baby gates.

[BTS1022]

Tried it, and tried just about every baby gate out there, My 2 yr old can and will climb over them to get out. Im just at such a loss with this situation, DH wants to add a room but we cant afford that anytime soon.

We have 2 living rooms one in the front of the house and one in the back, and DH suggested using the back room which is their play room for the baby, but then im worried the cats will try to sleep with the baby and something mught happen.

I just have no idea what to do anymore......

[JoyRenee]

Lots of people mount baby gates in the doorways to their toddler's bedroom to prevent them from getting out of the house or into something dangerous. I have a fantastic one that I bought from Target for $35 and it actually is mounted into the wood (it's not a spring rod).

That's really the only thing I can think of!

[BTS1022]

Well back in washington before DH and I bought this house we had a 2 bedroom apartment and the boys shared a room, and as soon as we got my youngest in a toddler bed it was hell, and stayed hell. He would always be out of the bed terrorizing my oldest son, he would get out of his room and rip my house apart, and the fun never ended until we moved here and they got their own rooms. We haven't switched them into the same room yet, but we did try it once a few months ago and it was the same thing for about 2 months when I just couldnt take it anymore. It seems to be a never ending battle between the two and Im not so sure I want to do it all over again.

I would consider having my oldest son share a room with the baby, but I would feel bad that he would be woken up every few hours when the baby needed to be fed and changed. It just seems like im never going to win in this situation. The baby will be in my room for the first 3 or 4 months, but after that I know DH will want some actual private time lol.

[JoyRenee]

How long have they been sharing a room? Has it been consistent? My husband told me that when his mom put him and his brothers in a room together, those first couple weeks were like a party. But then the novelty wore off.... fast! And it became a den for sleep.

Another suggestion would be to have the older boy share with the baby. Just until your middle child was old enough to understand that he, too, had to stay in his bed.

[BTS1022]

*bump* Anyone?