How much is too much?

[mommabear27]

My baby is 19 days old and just wants ti be held constantly when he is not sleeping.   I'm happy to cuddle and hold him but i dont want him getting into the habit of constantly being held, and don't want him to be wanting cuddled all the time,    how much is too much?   can you cuddle a new baby too much?   what age should you start leaving them when they cry etc if all they want us a cuddle (ie stop crying as son as you pick them up) x

[maybay]

I am due Oct 1 =) this one makes 3 my twins are almost 8.

[mommabear27]

Im tryin to not let them bother me, and I've started answering back, cause was really getting to me, i was like he is only coming up for 3 weeks old, surely he can't be over-held at this age? guess i just wanted some reassurance :-)  x

[xbeccaxnicolex]

They aren't spoiled, they're very loved. (: that's what my doctor told me today when I said I already had my son spoiled

[joannagonzalez]

Every child is different so don't listen to them. They all grow up differently and every parent have there own way to raisin a child. Dont let them make u think your doing it. wrong:)

[tomorrow264]

Momma bear I would politely tell them that they have raised their children and this one is yours to raise. Years ago the thinking was that holding a baby too much could spoil them but that view has changed. I work in childcare and one of the rules licensing has is you need to pick up a crying child asap. Maybe do a little research online or parenting magazines that way the next time someone gives you grief about it you can come back with a valid argument.

[mommabear27]

@maybay - hpw much longer do you have x

[mommabear27]

yeah i talk and sing to him when am not holding him so he knows I'm still there, i've learned his limit is about 15-20 mins though so despite my section i try to do as much as i can in that short time lol.   aw i know, we put him in moses basket last night and he started crying, we lsated about 3 mins before we had to get him cause he was screaming and it was upsetting us lol, ge calmed down straight away once picked up and fell straight back asleep :)   i don't wanna stop cuddling him, just hate being told my parenting style is wrong and that am mollycoddling him :( x

[maybay]

Awww I cant wait for my little one.

[joannagonzalez]

My grandma did tell me about the umbilical hernia today if you leave them cryin to long especial since its still closing so I got skared because I had left him crying for 20 min please dont judge me I was trying to see what worked to having him sleep in his bassinet but it totally freaked me out so im not doing it agian I just suggest not having him fall asleep in your chest because then his going to want to hear your heartbeat when going to sleep.

[joannagonzalez]

My baby is 2 weeks & 1 day today and he was doing the same especialy sleeping !! He only sleps in my bed so comfortable (think abt it when u were little didnt you always find your parents bed more comfy than yours? Lol) but I figured its becasue he feels me next to me lol so I rolled up a blanket next to his bassinet and hes been knocked out for 2 hours in there I'm so suprised but its cute because hes holding his hand up like its my boob his grabbing glad its working. As for putting him down he cries but ive been putting him on his swing and just talking to him while I do some stuff at home for example sumthing to eat and he gets entertained I also play music so he can relaxe little by little his getting the point :) you gotta figure him out little by little but my lil guy does have his fussy days. But dont think your spoiling him eithier he was in your tummy for 9 months all he wants right know is mommy

[mommabear27]

@Lisaerin86 - I love cuddling him, it makes him happy, which makes me happy, and it really seems to be the only way that he will fall asleep at the moment.   We put him to bed last night when he was in a light sleep and 15 mins later he woke up crying, I picked him up and cuddled him - within 2 mins he was sleeping again and si put him down a few mins after that and he slept for about 4 hours.   He has been unwell these last few days with a virus which gave him diarrhoea but he seems to be getting over that now but is still very cuddly, whereas before he got sick he would happily sit in his baby swing or lie on his playmat for half an hour which gave me the chance to put a washing on, or just to sit with my feet up and relax and air my incision, but now its constant cuddling.

@Lisaleigh - aw no poor you :(    does he cry every time you put him down, regardless of how long he has been sleeping?   That must be tough - I find it hard enough to find time to go to the toilet but I do get about 3.5 hours sleep a night in one go before he is up again and wanting another cuddle to get him back over so at least I have that break, that must be so tiring for you

@Maybay - I know, I do think he wants to know that we haven't forgotten about him cause if he cries when in his swing or on his playmat, he stops as soon as we pick him up, I know he can't understand me but I always say to him when its like that that mummy's here, its ok and we havent forgotten about you, and it seems to settle him straight away.    I love breastfeeding cause its the only time I get to cuddle him close without anyone passing judgement x

[maybay]

As much as you can it helps build a secure attatchment and shows baby you are there for him.

[Lissaleigh]

I'm in the exact same boat as you. Except I have to hold mine while he's sleeping as well which makes things difficult for me

[lisaerin86]

Cuddle that baby as much as you can while they're still so little :) my son is 21 months and quit wanting cuddles around 11 months when he started walking. Now he just wants held if he is sick or I have food lol we stopped holding him to put him to sleep around 8 months and the first 3 nights were rough he cried for about 30min before he went to sleep (and slept all night and so much better). After 3 days he went right to bed without a peep :)

[Ashdub07]

I coddled my kids and my dog and now that they are 6 yrs 10 mos and the dog is 5 mos they are pretty independent lol ;)

[mommabear27]

@tomorrow264 - that makes sense I guess, Don't get me wrong I LOVE holding my son, breastfeeding time is my favourite (12 times) time of day cause I get to hold him so close and take in all the wee changes that happen daily etc, I'm just sick of people (BD's family in particular) making comments about how we are raising him wrong cause he doesn't go without a load of kisses and cuddles from myself and BD x

[Berplus1]

Good logic I like it

[tomorrow264]

If you think about it baby was held 24/7 inutero and now that they are born even if they get held 12 hours out of the day its still kinda a rip off.

[mommabear27]

aw no way :/   thats awful, I could never let my baby cry that much xx

[Ashdub07]

Lol do what you feel in your heart is best. My husbands ex let her son cry so much that he got an umbilical hernia and was only a month old

[mommabear27]

I had read that somewhere as well, but esp since he hasn't been well, he wants cuddled more which is understandable but all I get is comments from BD's family that I'm getting the wee man into bad habits, I'm spoiling him, he'll be a clingy child etc etc etc.   whereas all I can think is that he isn't even 3 weeks old yet and when he cries I wanna pick him up, course I do, I want him to know that I'm there and haven't forgotten about him.   and i just wondered if what BD's family were saying was right x

[Ashdub07]

Negative, ghost rider. You can't cuddle a newborn too much. In my child development course at university i learned that babies don't start getting "spoiled" until 9 months of age. If you let your baby cry and don't comfort him/her they will start putting together if I cry mom won't hold me, and will start attaching to the people who do hold him/her. While everyone has a different opinion I am a firm believer in holding a new baby as often as possible. It's good for mom and great for baby