How should i tell my parents!

[Barbiechica]

Hi, im 18 years old and 8 weeks pregnant. Last year i was pregnant and that was my first pregnancy. My boyfrieng actually came and talked to my parents about it abd my mom went off like crazy because she's never liked my bf. the whole situation was terrible .. She wouldn't talk to me or even look at me. And my siblings wouldn"t either. I felt so lonely. Then three months later i had a miscarriage and my mom didnt even give me a hug or made me feel better at all and i felt a sense of loss that was undescribable, but she wasnt there for me. I've been independent since my father died when i turned 15 and by independent i mean that i pay bills i pay my car i help around the house n my family hasnt been there financially for me since then so i make my own decisions. My bf an i have been together for 3 years and we decided to get pregnant again and now we are 8w preg. In a month i will move out w him to our first apt. The problem is, idk how to tell my mom again because we havent been close at all since last year and i cant really talk to her about whats going on. And she will go crazy also bcuz im moving out. She still hates my bf and hes done nothing to her. I feel so stressed about this because i love her and i dont want her to judge me or treat me like i mean nothing to her again. She will ignore me again n that is stopping me from being happy. Should i tell her before i leave or after i move out. Because shell know anyways but i don't want things to turn out so ugly.

[Barbiechica]

Thank u all so much for ur support now i think i will definately tell her once i move out. All your opinions helped me relax so much from all the stress this situation has given me...

[shandy_1]

I really know how u feel, I'm 18 nd me nd my bf are trying. My mom has always told me that if I ever fell pregnant before I had finished studying she wud drag me to the doc 4 an abortion.. But since I'm 18, really wud lyk to see her try! Mothers are so judgmental! If I fall pregnant, ill only tell her lyk after 3 months nd ill hav def moved out by then! Good luck to u! Hope u hav fun wit ur baby! :-)

[stacey10]

hahah my mums like that I have 10 children with the lastest being 5 months old, with my 3yr old I never told her, she lives in nz and came over for a holiday and opened the door to my 37 wk belly hahaha she nearly died (again lol)

[AnnieBrooke]

You could really swing for the fences if you wanted to -- you could move, never tell her you are pregnant, and get married, and not tell her that either.  I have a friend who has a lot of children, much to her mother's often-expressed dismay.  (It's not like she is living in sin, either, she has had all these kids with her husband and they live in their own house, and have steady jobs, etc.)  Anyway, when she told her mom she was pregnant with her seventh child, her mom yelled "WHEN will it END?!?"   So when she got pregnant with her eighth, she simply never did tell her mother she was pregnant.  They live on the same street, so it is not like her mother didn't see her with a pregnant stomach, but it was never discussed in the family during the whole course of her pregnancy.  It was kind of amusing, really, to hear about -- her sister would say to me, "Oh, yeah, she's pregnant, but she hasn't said anything about it."   After all the static that went before, I didn't particularly blame her.  (Why make an announcement and open herself to her mother's judgmental statements yet again?)

Back to your situation ... it would be the mature thing to do to tell her, but if you are certain her response will be judgmental and hurtful, I don't think you are under any obligation to do so.  If your boyfriend marries you, then your primary family is him, not your mother, and at that point you should do what makes him feel supported, and opening him to a diatribe from your mom is probably not the thing that makes him feel supported.  That said, if he doesn't marry you, I do think you owe something to your mom.  If you don't want to be there the moment she hears, around the time you move out, write her a friendly note mentioning that you are pregnant.  Then you won't have to bear the force of her initial knee-jerk reaction.  You can even ask her in the note not to contact you about it if all she can muster is unsupportive remarks.  

[stacey10]

I wouldnt tell her a damn thing, if she wasnt there for you when you had a miscarriage, she doesnt deserve to be told, you are already independant, maybe consider telling her when you have moved but save yourself the stress and dont mention it until your gone

[Oregonhynita]

I wouldnt tell her if shes not supportive then why tell her she may stress you out and make you upset and thats stress you dont need tell her once you have move so when she flips you dont have to see or hear it im sorry you have to go threw this good luck.

[D_and_L_Keen]

Tell her before you move. She may freak out or not say anything but either way it needs to be said and she will have to understand that it will happen either way. Its a big thing.