Trouble with my boyfriend...

[pinkbelle]

It seems like since I got pregnant me & his relationship has kind of gone down hill. Don't get me wrong I love him with all my heart & I love our baby but it just seems like the relationship is messed up. We don't have any conversations anymore unless its about the baby or the babys' room. We hardly have sex because I still have MS and feel like **** most days and to be honest who feels sexy when tehy are pukey? We didnt even celebrate valentines day.. it was our first too :-( and now our 1 yr anniversary is coming up on monday and I don't even think he knows or anything... I have been trying to drop hints but I figure if he doesn't say anything he just doesn't care. I know I probably sound selfish but I would like to have the relationship we did have back... I understand me getting pregnant has changed everything and I beleive its for the good but how do we get past this? I mean how do we get back the relationship & intamincy that we used to have?

[martikadragoon]

You know what.. in the 5+ yrs me and dh have been together/married, he's gotten me flowers a total of 2-3times!
He got them once on Thanksgiving! wierd... lol,

He's learned tho, esp after one valentines day I myself made him a chocolate heart box out of hersheys bars and filled it with dark chocolate kisses.. he said thanks and then NOTHING... well I sat him down and told him :

If i can take the time out to do something special.. you should too. and this is EXACTLY what I want from you since your not super romantic! "I want flowers for no reason other than you loving me, I'd love a stuffed animal once in a while, and compliments are AWESOME!"

Well... he didn't seem to take it to heart but on Valentines day he got me flowers, candy the works. And a few  months ago during work training, I told him I was having a sad day (He got home after me.. so I left him a little sad pic of a girl crying and a boy handing her a flower and saying cheer up!).. I only gave it to him cause i thought it was a cute pic. See.. that day I'd given my dog away and had a **** day at work..
Well that night when he picked me up.. on the front seat (about a week before Vday) was a little hedgehog(stuffedlol) chocolates and roses!
I almost cried. lol, He said "well you left me that picture so I took the hint!"  and I NEVER meant it as a hint.

I'm rambling too.. but that's just what I did.

[babyscience]

That sounds like me and my DH...haha!  But we have been together for 10 years, so I guess that is to be expected.  I think you are right to have those feelings...especially since your relationship is new.  But I think your situation of being pregnant has moved your relationship to a whole new level, with a whole lot of emotions from you.  With me and my DH, we have a true deep love where those things arent really needed....but when I was preggo I thought for sure he didnt love me anymore.  Maybe your boyfriend is thinking that you know he loves you and he doesnt have to go above and beyond, that is what my DH was thinking.  
But just have a heart felt talk with him, if he loves you I am sure he will understand and try to be more sensitive to you.

[sfritz]

You should definintly tell him that you feel insecure right now becasue of the pregnancy. Maybe if you start the lines of communication, he will open up too.

As for the anniversary and stuff, maybe he is like me. I have been married going on 4 years and have NOT remembered my wedding anniversary once!! The first two years, my mom reminded me right away. Last year no one reminded me and I didn't remember until 9:30pm at my grandpas B-day party, after I realized that I was supposed to have picked up my husband 3 hours before!! Luckily his friend gave him a ride home and he knows that my memory for things like that are AWFUL!!

Talk to him about your upcoming anniverasry and plan something nice with him!

Good luck!! (and Happy 1 Year!!!)

[ImHappyBeingMe]

I think I feel really insecure right now b/c of the pregnancy...   -----Tell him that!!
And see if it starts a conversation to build on.

[pinkbelle]

im the same way.. I can feel myself being a total b*tch to him and I just cant stop myself its like I unconsciously do it and I really don't want to. I think you are right I think I feel really insecure right now b/c of the pregnancy...  

[Hales20]

my gf says he isnt good with the whole valentines thing, he didnt even get me a card or anything this valentines, he just told me that all this valentines stuff is a waste of money & I said yeah but even a card would be nice he says its all a big scam for money.

I organised all this stuff for him, chocolates & alcohol & stuff, wrote him nice poem & i dont even get a card!

I know how you feel, they never make any effort! Am im not even pregnant yet. LOL i would hate to see the times we go through once i am! I will prob be so demanding but ill just say he is the one who made me pregnant so now he has to put up with me.

LOL well anyways good luck i hope it all works out.

[Crysi]

I seriously think part of it is pregnancy hormones. I was the same with my fiance. I don't think a lot actually changed I just craved more attention etc, but I was a b*tch whenever he was around me. LoL, I would talk to him about it all, but remember you aren't going to feel the same as before because hormonaly you aren't.

[ImHappyBeingMe]

I went through that with my hubby ....(although I wasn't pregnant then)
Why don't you make him feel more important than anything for a night? I did that with my hubby. I told him I loved him ALL day long.. Left him notes all around the house saying..."I'm so proud of you for working so hard to provide for a family of two"
or.."You mean so much to me. And, I am honored to call you my husband" "Life would not be the same without you" "My heart still get's butterflies thinking of the first time we kissed".... I could keep going but I won't bore you any long with those! LOL.

I put the notes in his lunch, car, on his pillow, And, I called his work ahead of time and told someone to write down ..."My heart misses you when your away" and put it by his work station....




Then, see how he changes.. If he doesn't... that's when I would sit him down and talk...and let him know you just feel like your there and pregnant.

omgsh, I'm sorry I'm rambling. lol.

[pinkbelle]

I talked to him about the valentines day thing and he said "im not good at all that romantic ****" but hes dead wrong when we first got together and I had to work and he didnt when I came home from work he would h ave breakfast made and 3 pink roses laying there for me... he still tells me he loves me at least 5 or 6 times a day but I want to feel like Im more than his pregnant girlfriend ya know what I mean...  And we have talked about the no sex thing and he said he feels like a dog for asking for sex when he knows Im sick and not feeling well so he doesn't even try.  I think we need to find a way to communicate better or we are gonna be heading for trouble... :-(

[Hales20]

sit down & talk with him how you feel - its the only way he is going to understand hun.