I am so sorry that you are going throught this, I honestly dont know what to tell you. I have had some problems in the bedroom in the past also and my hubby and I ended up taking a break. It was the best thing we could have done.....I know he seen me in a diffrent light and we started dating again, hanging out again like we did when we first met, It was great. Of course our problems werent only in the bedroom, I just thought they were, I felt rejected and and hurt and some how blamed it all on my new mommy body. But if his problem is medical then maybe a break would still work, kinda push him in the right direction, IDK. I hope you can figuar this out without going tro that extreme, I really do, cause sometimes it back fires:(
Stay strong with the EX, even for physical gratification, he is your ex for a reason, maybe you just dont remember it now, but if you go through with it you will regret it greatly. Something like will always comes back to haunt you, and think of the hurt your hubby would feel:(
If you ever need to talk or just vent, I'll be here to listen.
What a tough situation! Could you make ANOTHER appointment and arrange that you go with him to make sure he goes? You don't have to go into the room with him if he doesn't want but at least you could drive him to the appointment.
At first, I thought you were going to say he was gay...then you came up with the doctor thing...I'm not trying to be offensive BUT are you sure he is straight? I know a woman who was married to what everyone thought was 'the dream guy'...great relationship, great husband, fathered a few kids and about ten years later, he came out!!!
Wish I could be more help but I feel for you!!! And, try not to think about the ex...the grass will always seem greener on the other side...besides this sex issue, it seems like you have a wonderful husband. I hope you can work through this before you explore any other situations.
Good luck and Hugs!!!
im also not sure what to say to you as this is such a personal thing and would depend on what sort of guy he was personality etc, i think i have to say look this is it for me you and i go to the dr ad work this out tell him u love him that your there for him etc and that you want to do this for him, but if he's not prepared to well.....
ok as for the ex dont go there you wont be the only one that gets hurt!!!! trust me ive been there done that and 2 kids were involved i cant beleive i was so stupid!!!! you need to work out your stuff with your hubby first if he wont get help and you agree on a break then thats up to you if you wan to be with your ex then but not till you work something out with your hubby! dont jump outa the fire into the frying pan so to speak it will only course more promplems weather it seems like it or not!
i really hope you get the attention you need soon i do understand and if you ever want to talk im here for you
good luck xx
wow , sorry to hear this but i can say stay true to your husband. dont let this push you into your exs arms, if you dont love your husband than divorce him and find someone that can make you happy, but plz dont go outside your marrage values and cheat. in GODS eyes its wrong. i know in your heart you know what needs to be done you will make the right choice for you ,your husband and your children.
Pray, pray and pray again. Talk to your husband and not at him. I know sometimes the latter is easier when you are frustrated...Men have a lot of pride and they often go into a shell when they have a problem. It could be a medical issue and he is too afraid to find out because he does not want to lose you...Be encouraging to him...Pray with him and for him. Turn to your pastor and seek out some counseling. But whatever you do don't turn to your ex...it will only make a bad situation worse. You will wake up feeling even worse than you are feling now, you need to break all ties with him...that is nothing but the devil trying to tear apart your marriage. I am also in a marriage where there is a en year age difference and we experienced these problems a few years ago, We prayed and got through it and now we have a healthy sex life...(well not since the pregnancy :o))..My husband ended up beling put on Clomid for our fertility issue, which helped his sex drive and he has been all good since coming off the medication. It turned out to be low testosterone...you can get through this..with God on your side ANYTHING is possible. You just have to be patient and wait for him to show up and show out.
Praying with you and for you,
Sometimes after not being sexually active it can take awhile to "get to know" each other again. Because its been awhile he may have lost confidence, feels a lot of pressure to perform, and then that effects his ability to have sex - I agree that when it gets to the point that it effects your sex life/marriage it visit to the doctor is needed to see if there is a medical reason for this (there are numerous possibilities that range from depressions to low hormone levels, to prostate problems etc. and several reasons could be age-related which is why the problem may not have been as severe in the past). I agree with sweetangel - make an appointment that you can both go to.
Also, do you know if he masturbates? Can you masturbate him/with him? The second option might be a way to "get to know" each other again without the same pressures as having intercourse. If he doesnt masturbate (and most guys wont be honest about this) then that suggests there may be a medical issue that needs to be addressed.