OT Me and my boyfriend are done

[alaysha]

So I needed to get this off my chest and I can't call any of my friends so I thought I would post it here since you all seem like family.

Tonight after my boyfriend got off of work (about 2 hours ago) I asked him to rock the baby to sleep since I had just fed her and changed her. Her complains but goes to rock her. 10 minutes later he comes out to the living room puts her in her swing and goes outside to smoke a cigarette. She's quite for a little while but then he comes back in and sits on the couch to watch TV and she starts crying again. So I ask him to pick her up since she's a baby and she isn't supposed to be left alone to cry until she is older. He starts yelling at me telling me how he's been working for 8 hours and I'm the mom and I can take care of it and that it is good for her to cry. So I get frustrated and tell him that he is a horrible father since he can't even take care of his daughter for a little while so that I can relax.

Next thing I know he throws a cup of water on me. I get up to go into the bathroom and change and scream at him that I hate him and this is why I don't want to be with him or even have sex with him because he is a self absorbed child that only cares about himself. Next thing I know he comes in the room holding the baby and grabs me by my hair and throws me across the room. At this point I'm thinking okay it has gone too far I'm getting out of here. So I grab my phone to call my friend to see if I can stay the night at her house but she doesn't answer and Zach follows me to the bathroom seeming all menacing so I tell him to get away from me or I'll call the cops so he starts to reach out again so I call 911... but before i can even get an operator he grabs my phone and smashes it into pieces on the bathroom floor. Which sprays up and scares the baby (who he is still holding) and she starts screaming at the top of her lungs.

I grab the baby from him run into the living room, put her in her car seat, grab my keys and leave. I drive to Quiktrip across from my house and use the pay phone to call the police. The police meet me at QT and take down all the information and then they drive me to my house where they arrest Zach. They told me to come to the police station at 9:00 tomorrow morning to get an order of protection for Aspen and I. Which I fully plan to do. I guess he see's the judge at 10:30 in the morning tomorrow and that they'll serve him the order of protection then. The police officers said that he won't be getting out tomorrow at all since he has domestic violince and criminal damage which are two counts against him.

I don't know I'm just upset. I'm pretty sure I won't be sleeping tonight (its already almost 3 am). I just can't stand him and I want to get away so bad and if this is what it is going to take then that is that. But I will not raise my daughter in a house where her father does things like that in front of her or not. It is not okay and I don't want her to grow up thinking that it is. Plus I DESERVE way better than that! I know that someone out there will love me much more and be a WAY better father than Zach ever can or will be.

[pinkbelle]

Hey... I'm so glad you reported him... not enough women report abuse in this country.. its reported that 72% of victims of domestic violence do not report their abuser so by reporting him you have done the first great step. Im actually going to school to be a social worker who specializes in cases involving domestic abuse.... I don't want to scare you but 82% of men who hit their wives/ girlfriends also hit their children...  .. so by getting yourself and aspen away from him once again you did the right thing.. Make sure you document exactly what he did to you when it happened and everything so if you he decides to take you to court for custody you have some things to show the judge .. also make sure anyone you called or who may have seen the actual viloence right down what they saw.

Now if you decide you think he has changed or whatever and take him back have a backup plan... put money in an account you can use in a hurry if you need to leave unexpectedly... always have a bag packed for you and aspen of things that you would need in case once again you have to leave unexpectedly.. Protect yourself and your child hun... ( it looks like thats exactly waht you are doing)  

[loismwallace]

DON'T let him around that baby. I hope the police included in their report that he jepordized that precious babies life by physically attacking you while holding her. That way if he goes for custody or visitation it will have to be supervised. He DOES NOT need to be left alone with that baby. That just drives me nuts. But let me tell you, that restraining order isn't worth the paper it is written on. I would move and never look back. That baby and yourself deserve so much better....

[luv2bmommy]

of course you and Aspen deserve WAY better dont EVER doubt that for a second. He knows good and well what he did was wrong, only an animal wouldnt be able to see that, and hes trying anything in his power to not feel ashamed of himself, because hes a coward. hes trying to turn it around on you so he doesnt have to admit that to himself. i can hardly believe anyone could do something like that and especially in front of your DD. you have strength girl, i know so many women who stick around in that mess. stay strong, Aspen deserves to see her mommy happy and out of harms way.

[StressHead]

Can I just say that Aspen is lucky to have a Mum who is brave enough to get rid of his ***!! I wish more people who were victims of domestic violence were as strong as you. Don't let him trick you, you absolutely did the right thing and I admire you for it.
What a fantastic example to set to your daughter for the future xx

[kris777]

I am soooo sorry this happened to you and you sure don't deserve it one bit!  You must stay strong for your daughter and get away from him--definitely follow through and get the order.  If he is capable of doing that than he is most likely capable of doing worse.  No man EVER should lay a hand on a woman..................only cowards do that.  He might try to get you back and apologize, but I wouldn't even give him the time of day!

[JoyRenee]

Keep your foot down and don't give him an inch. Your daughter and YOU both deserve a man who is going to be a MAN. Not that you're going to go off looking right away or anything. Plus, with his history of violence I DOUBT he'd get custody. Judges always favor the mother unless there is very hard evidence against her in regards to abuse/drugs. My brother has been trying to get custody of his sons for YEARS because their mom locks them in a closet and makes them sleep on the floor and never gives them baths, etc. He keeps losing custody and he has to endure his children living like that because no one will do anything about it.

You're doing the right thing, as hard as it is! I'm so sorry things have to happen like this, but Aspen will be better off. So will you!